Just another day... slumber

shadygrady · 02-07-2008, 04:31 PM

wake me...
To another absent minded day
To another opportunity

wake me... please
So I can figure out the reason of waking up
So I can walk with a purpose

Opportunity is here
I take her for a ride slow and gentle
The day is beautiful... she whispers to me "go for it"

I wish to sleep now..
I don't like the streetlights following me everywhere I go

I wish to drift off into sweet oblivion
who knows ... maybe when i awake the next time

Love will be mine for the taking

Quotive · 02-09-2008, 10:33 PM

still around?

what's your msn bitch?

don't be shy cutie hahahaha

C.Jacc · 02-12-2008, 06:01 PM

i like the groove u wrote this poem i'm not sure if u were going for this but i could really feel the uncertainty in moves them turned into triumph at the end kinda conflicting but meshed well .. nice work

DaJackle · 03-03-2008, 09:57 AM

nice, i can definitely feel the conflict with the way you organized your lines. it has a very depress tone for me, like someone who has fallen into the depth of depression and just hoping somebody who will make them feel alive again will come around soon.

Poetic Concept · 03-05-2008, 04:59 PM

Different, you have semi-personal relationship throughout the whole prose is was creative, subtle, tossed up and mended, in a few seconds..title kind of through me off at first but at the end it was nice

Brit Boi Gee · 03-27-2008, 10:59 PM

I like the "shoulda coulda woulda" feel that makes you urge the person to get up and sieze the day. It reminded me of when John Keats said in a poem " for some time now, I have been half in love with easefull death..." Very good.

02-07-2008, 04:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
shadygrady nate short's the name Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Sioux FIZZY... aka sioux falls south dakota... hey someone's got to represent the MidWest Posts: 521	Just another day... slumber wake me... To another absent minded day To another opportunity wake me... please So I can figure out the reason of waking up So I can walk with a purpose Opportunity is here I take her for a ride slow and gentle The day is beautiful... she whispers to me "go for it" I wish to sleep now.. I don't like the streetlights following me everywhere I go I wish to drift off into sweet oblivion who knows ... maybe when i awake the next time Love will be mine for the taking __________________ life is too damn short yo get out and get your's I love my family

03-03-2008, 09:57 AM	#4 (permalink)
DaJackle ThoughtS ProcessinG Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 493	nice, i can definitely feel the conflict with the way you organized your lines. it has a very depress tone for me, like someone who has fallen into the depth of depression and just hoping somebody who will make them feel alive again will come around soon. __________________ You can only do so much in life, at some point you just have to let go and let God decide...what is the meaning of life? it's very simple...to simply live

03-05-2008, 04:59 PM	#5 (permalink)
Poetic Concept Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Milwaukee Posts: 257	Different, you have semi-personal relationship throughout the whole prose is was creative, subtle, tossed up and mended, in a few seconds..title kind of through me off at first but at the end it was nice __________________ "The joker laughs at the two-faced mime, my soul is mine, dine on deck, respect the taker, for he was once perfection in the eyes of the maker"

03-27-2008, 10:59 PM	#6 (permalink)
Brit Boi Gee manifest the zen Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Near To Athena Posts: 15,847	I like the "shoulda coulda woulda" feel that makes you urge the person to get up and sieze the day. It reminded me of when John Keats said in a poem " for some time now, I have been half in love with easefull death..." Very good. __________________ Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel. -William Shakespeare Brit Boi has a highly calibrated wifermometer

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02-12-2008, 06:01 PM	#3 (permalink)
C.Jacc Registered User Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 11	i like the groove u wrote this poem i'm not sure if u were going for this but i could really feel the uncertainty in moves them turned into triumph at the end kinda conflicting but meshed well .. nice work

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