The Hourglass

This is a discussion on The Hourglass within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; . The fuse would light. It was just you and I, in a room where we knew we'd fight. I ...


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Old 01-22-2008, 01:22 AM   #1 (permalink)
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The Hourglass
.

The fuse would light.
It was just you and I, in a room where we knew we'd fight.
I wanted to tell the truth at times
But I would lie just to end a stupid fight.
And then we'd fuck.
We would kiss and hug
And tended to call it endless love,
Just...
Without that sense of love.
So, really just an endless fuck.
And us naked, touching
You hated fucking,
You'd fake it and I'd just make it rougher,
'Cause...
You liked to call it making love,
But really I just made you love it.
And now it's passed.
Memories bound and gagged, I forgot how it sounds to laugh,
So we're lost, now sprinkled about the past,
A single sand within this hourglass.



.
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Old 01-28-2008, 09:53 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Holy shit.
Quote:
I wanted to tell the truth at times
But I would lie just to end a stupid fight.
What guy hasn't done that? That one touched home for me.

Quote:
We would kiss and hug
And tended to call it endless love,
Just...
Without that sense of love.
So, really just an endless fuck.
Your transition from Love, to fuck, with all of the little truths paving the way was flawless

Quote:
You liked to call it making love,
But really I just made you love it.
Another strong line, the play on the set-up to turn it into the "punch" was VERY nice.

Overall, a sick poem, very touching ... I guess I enjoyed it more because I can somewhat relate, but I'll leave the spotlight on you ... Nice piece of work.
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Old 01-29-2008, 01:41 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheReturn View Post
.


Memories bound and gagged, I forgot how it sounds to laugh,
So we're lost, now sprinkled about the past,
A single sand within this hourglass.

.

liked it.. was good
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Old 01-29-2008, 02:40 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Good looks, thanks guys.
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Old 02-03-2008, 05:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Memories bound and gagged, I forgot how it sounds to laugh,




UP...
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