to finally love...

[~Eloquent]

long as hell but definitely spur of the moment but kind of somethin ive been thinkin about for a while to so i would appreciate yalls patience


my mind accelerates without no brakes upon the gas
feel myself moving way to fast
if only i could perhaps
gather all the info before my memory
collaspes and relapses
with no data
the freshness of the scent of a new love that could begin blooming

cuz my soul has so long lacked sun light
room stays blinds shut reflecting the flickering TV screen
reminding myself to never be open to love so fast
remembering the way it would fall thru the cracks
in the past
if i put to much weight and pressure
on my quest to love her
cuz she could quench my undying thirst
with a sweet sensual kiss
or a gentle rub across her hips

only to watch TV and have others share those moments
to so long feel to aspire a future closeness
and finally indulge in
romance
and to walk around with a stupid smerk
kind of mischevious
cuz happiness was formed with strong ingredients

but that just magnifies my neediness
see neediness as an internal growing cancer
that perpertrates the soul and shreddens all relationships
so then i feel relationships are just poison
tip toe everyday
avoiding everyone

hearing whispers that im so cold
and eyes that never focus
mean spirited,miserable
and beyond his years mentally
in all the dark and gloomy ways
i really hate to feel so completely dispised
its like i constantly wear a disguise
tryin to view the world from everyone elses eyes
i dont want advesaries
they just come with the indifference inside life
and the way you go thru and the way you roll the dice

but i wish i could show love
and lord knows i really want to love
but then ill scare her away
and i already know that it will happen
cuz i daydream and stare blank deep into space
and think what it would be to know her
instead of gettin to know her one day at a time
and that creates so much confusion
cuz then theirs so much i know i cant say yet
cuz it would be way to soon
so i struggle with each side of me
hoping one day
i could finally decide
but strong emotions often carry me away
so i often make the wrong choice
cuz i so deeply yearn for her acceptance
and truth is its just so dangerous to be so open

but i am so ready to finally love...

[MzPynkDymondz]

I am not new to the realm but i havent been here in a while. I liked the poem on a personal level this phase caught me
"cuz i so deeply yearn for her acceptance
and truth is its just so dangerous to be so open"
good read

[Dicnyaeye]

Sup Eloquent.... this is just that. The narration is eloquently put. I feel you on the content too. It's hard to know when to express love to someone if they haven't already expressed it to you first. So it turns into an emotional tug of war where you both might be waiting for the other one to give a clue that the connection is getting deeper...

ultimately though, one of you just has to lay it down and say what's on ur heart and minds and if the feelings are reciprocated, it's greatness and worth the wait..... but the wait can be some tough shit.

YOur wording is always smooth to read and get lost in your thoughts as you express them. Your format has a nice flow and helps dictate the narration, which as I said already is Eloquent as the name says.

[licious_mocha]

nice expression, thanks for sharing, this piece is a real one.....