memory

[S. Issue]

her arms gape like a wordless mouth and the twin tongues
of her limbs lick the edge of my silhouette. ignore the way she
bustles up to your side as you pass; she is in search of the name
that calls my face home.

she tousles the breeze with spittle that freezes down her
button-front. i pass her daily and she does not know
my thicket face, only hopes to remember. shuffled away
into a side room, she sobs for her son.

this week, she recalls only the gruff of the doctors and the bright,
cold shiver of her thighs as she looks for me in the hallways.

[S. Issue]

this is bullshit. cant i get a reply?

[Flammonde.]

Originally Posted by S. Issue

her arms gape like a wordless mouth and the twin tongues
of her limbs lick the edge of my silhouette.

I think this was the best line in the poem... After a couple of readings, I am not sure what to think about it. It almost seems as though the entire thing was cut short; I was honestly surprised to see it end so abruptly.

[S. Issue]

cut short? im sorry i dont write droning poems, or even poems that require you to strain your eyes, but this poem is pretty simple.

[Flammonde.]

And Im sorry that, after seeing you whine about not getting any feedback, I foolishly chose to critique your poem, and that I must be a moron for not being smart enough to honestly get the full gist of what you were trying to convey.

[S. Issue]

yeh, basically. :]

glad you figured that out.


i just dont see what is so rough about this poem to understand?