Food For Thought For The Belly Of The Beast

This is a discussion on Food For Thought For The Belly Of The Beast within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; alright check this out, this is meant to be spoken word so it is hard for me to translate it ...


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Old 09-10-2006, 09:48 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Food For Thought For The Belly Of The Beast
alright check this out, this is meant to be spoken word
so it is hard for me to translate it to just being on paper
all the text in this colour is to be read poetically
and all the text in this is to be read more calmly
Just use your imagination a bit but please let me know what you think and thanks

xxx

No control of your soul, so you wait at the light
so comfortable.. that you hating to fight
to make it right

Followers for the sake of Christ, claiming innocent lives
Insomniacs for the sake of nights, commit countless days' sacrifice
Self-doubt, Success's kryptonite
Metaphorically speaking, the reason you would lift a knife
and decimate the gift of life
Bestowed Upon You
then Wait just to miss the light.

You really think God likes the scared?
Heaven's peaceful, You ain't at peace, You think you getting there?

Attempting to hitch-hike a ride from disciplined religion
Causing a blame on society, Effecting solitude in prison
but Listen. Society's Blame of a failed system
Unable to Tom Cruise your way through life, an impossible mission
so soul set to collateral, but they don't listen
to the Minority's report, its irrelavent
Feeling like the Last Samurai without a sword
Justified "Fuck being Benevolent"

Or is it?
So they label you as a failure and put you in a box,
What you don't see is now you are unable to think outside that same box
What are you doing right now, is the opposite of what they want from you
the real question is are you doing what you want to do?
In not doing what you want to do, aren't you doing exactly what they want you to?

Mind Altered Realities.. Paranoid Delusion
of the Life's Pattern of trying and losing
Infinite Souls coiled to ashes, died of Confusion
Spent lifetimes with disguised smiles when cruising

Avoiding the question isn't the answer
Is Ignorance THIS?
Or Is Ignorance Bliss?
Decide for Self
Would you rather be stupid and happy or Intelligent and pissed?

My Words igniting faded flames of passion
Arch in the back hardening to a rod
Signs of Courage, Positive Action
If you feelin' it .. then nod

Keep it Alive.
And Forever Remember
The fear of failure is far greater than failure itself, for real.

xxx
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Old 09-11-2006, 01:17 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I loved this piece. Although I can live without the first stanza. It seems a little I dont know, Dr. Suesish? But what do I know, as for the rest of this drop, LOVED it. The style, the structure, the emotion. Nice one boo.
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Old 09-11-2006, 10:51 PM   #3 (permalink)
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thanks for replying..
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Old 09-15-2006, 02:49 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I will be patient...
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Old 09-17-2006, 02:32 AM   #5 (permalink)
I got id.
 
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I like how you used the color to represent how you wanted it to be read. I also liked how it played out. The title struck me first, I like interesting little things like that, that happen to make sense and whatnot. I didn't like the calm as much as the poetic, but it all worked out. I would assume you couldn't get the full effect without actually hearing it, so a recording would be dope.....but alas, this still works.

Stay Patient.

Bless.
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Old 09-18-2006, 07:33 PM   #6 (permalink)
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^thanks a lot man appreciate the love
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Old 09-19-2006, 05:03 PM   #7 (permalink)
Cold Logic
 
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You really think God likes the scared?
Heaven's peaceful, You ain't at peace, You think you getting there?

i really liked that man
that hit home
the whole piece was pretty good...

Attempting to hitch-hike a ride from disciplined religion
Causing a blame on society, Effecting solitude in prison
but Listen. Society's Blame of a failed system

man this reminds me of a Talib Kweli song i heard recently
but not quite as good...lol
Kweli is very good though
but anyways
this was definitely a message worth hearing and often overlooked...
Or is it?
So they label you as a failure and put you in a box,
What you don't see is now you are unable to think outside that same box
What are you doing right now, is the opposite of what they want from you
the real question is are you doing what you want to do?
In not doing what you want to do, aren't you doing exactly what they want you to?
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Old 09-20-2006, 01:59 AM   #8 (permalink)
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^ thanks a lot dude .. thanks for the comparison to Talib Kweli.. He inspired this piece.. so yeah
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Old 09-22-2006, 05:32 PM   #9 (permalink)
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still patient.. thanks
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Old 09-27-2006, 12:58 AM   #10 (permalink)
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hmmmmmmmmm
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Old 09-27-2006, 01:25 AM   #11 (permalink)
I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS!
 
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UFO the Phoenix takes it up the butt!
woooord up

this just dropped a word on my soul man....struggling with school and 2 jobs and I always feel failure breathing down my neck....but gotta keep it moving....you jumped from topic to topic but still managed to gather all your notions into a completed arguement...I enjoyed the arguement of both sides and the many questions you left on the table for the reader to ponder

all the quotes in red seem to hold those stop light messages that stood out more then the actual poem itself....I've used that style before but never paid it much mind til now...if used properly the poem can be very effective as this one proved....

The first part does start out slow and perhaps you could edit this piece and fine tune it....but I liked it overall....the tom cruise part was slick as well...I was first going to complain on how cliche the mission impossible sounded but then I like how you kept flipping it...and tom cruise in himself is an interesting choice so that further caught my interest....so overall man you really put it down on this one

and if I had to quote one line that stood out the most to me it would be:

Self-doubt, Success's kryptonite

^that line had me buggin....because its so true....the fear of failure destory any dream before the reality can ever take place....and thats the part that touched my soul for I've been struggling all day and depressed for no reason at all until it dawned on me I've been carring to much self doubt

......
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Old 10-01-2006, 03:07 AM   #12 (permalink)
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thanks for the love UFO .. that right there ( you feeling better and more motivated in accomplishing your goals )
is my objective so to speak for this poem so seeing it being fulfilled is a HUGE compliment


thank you
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