The architect

lewdDog · 09-05-2006, 07:35 AM

My mind, the constructer of how I have become the reflection I see and the person I’m currently looking answers for.
A craftsman that harbors his work internally but I stand here as the work of an unfinished masterpiece; shelved to the side waiting until the day of my unveiling.
Incomplete; missing so much of my emotional necessities, I feel as if I can be reborn.
Again ill try, again ill feel as if I’ll belong to what we all call this life; another chance.
All the Information that I have gained through failure, triumph and experience; I’ve become strong from; better as a person I believe ill become.

My heart, the controller of who I’ll ever eventually love/hate until I’m diesis.
Always have fate and believe if I speak of the three words I am being sincere and heartfelt.
Rarely if I am seen with my heart on my sleeve as I embrace into the belief of the act I must put on to show everyone I am fine with who am, as another piece of me dies inside.
Beating of the pulse consists of the thoughts that are constantly going through my head simultaneously as I’m becoming to be an non-believer in my fate for romance.
A Rush of blood is sent through my body and into my essence to give me strength and will to continue this puzzle of my life, only to realize that I’ve become so jagged the pieces of me no longer fit as they once have.

My soul, the original idea of the basis that there is a perfect one self, which I can strive for.
My ideal being that should shine but shivered in the shadows to hide what is me; so afraid.
I quiver as I can imagine what I would do if I came to a road where If I had no choice but to fail.
Accomplishing nothing is worthless if you don’t eventually learn from your mistakes.
Repeating history, not only do I feel is redundant but is in fact pointless up to a point you must prove.

The architect, the analyzer of life and the one who will discover ………..

lpoet · 09-05-2006, 08:13 AM

i like the way the poem was broken up into sections..it made the poem a lot more managable to me..it also brought a needed pause to what seemed like short paragraphs..usually not a fan of this type of format but it seems to work with this..funny how sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn..shrugs...

nice piece man

~WORDZ~ · 09-05-2006, 11:49 AM

I definitely admire this drop. The structure took itself takes alot of disapline.

"My soul, the original idea of the basis that there is a perfect one self, which I can strive for."

^^^deep.

Mind~$oul · 09-15-2006, 02:36 AM

Didn't like the structure, but I think it went just right with the poem though. I love the honesty in this piece man. There is not many people who can look into a mirror find the flaws within them. I would love to hear this in spoken word too. Keep them coming man

One luv

UFO the Phoenix · 09-20-2006, 11:37 AM

kinda of bizzare how you label this architect and follow no structure....ah....but who am I to judge you man...I feel so bad for not including you in the 40 poet collabo...but your piece lacked stucture...it lacked that self discipline it lacked the art....but it was powerful non the less....you need to know that

the same goes with this poem....it felt all over the place for me....but the way you broke it down and flip words like "become believe and become"....that was interesting...and the last one "pointless points to prove"....you have something going here....pieces of a puzzle.....no matter how broken your life might seem you can put it back together....but I think you need to focus more on your self displine...this could have been sooooo much better if you would of went over it and touched it up a tad....and you still can....no architect designs a masterpiece in one sitting

I see so much potentional in you but I dont know....

I disagree with lpoet and mindsoul....and those guys are top poets but this lack of structure and thought out lines makes it seem sloppy....not that you dont care but thats the way it comes off to me...but I dont know maybe thats just your style and I admire your prose touch on things and I dont want to be the death of it because it could Blossom into its own style beyond anything else in the realm

sighs

just do you man....the point being I wouldnt spend so much time on this if I didnt care about you and that I notice you and yours....so take note to that and take what you want from whatever I say....

pz

09-05-2006, 07:35 AM	#1 (permalink)
lewdDog Life is are own illusion Join Date: May 2003 Location: long island Posts: 340	The architect My mind, the constructer of how I have become the reflection I see and the person I’m currently looking answers for. A craftsman that harbors his work internally but I stand here as the work of an unfinished masterpiece; shelved to the side waiting until the day of my unveiling. Incomplete; missing so much of my emotional necessities, I feel as if I can be reborn. Again ill try, again ill feel as if I’ll belong to what we all call this life; another chance. All the Information that I have gained through failure, triumph and experience; I’ve become strong from; better as a person I believe ill become. My heart, the controller of who I’ll ever eventually love/hate until I’m diesis. Always have fate and believe if I speak of the three words I am being sincere and heartfelt. Rarely if I am seen with my heart on my sleeve as I embrace into the belief of the act I must put on to show everyone I am fine with who am, as another piece of me dies inside. Beating of the pulse consists of the thoughts that are constantly going through my head simultaneously as I’m becoming to be an non-believer in my fate for romance. A Rush of blood is sent through my body and into my essence to give me strength and will to continue this puzzle of my life, only to realize that I’ve become so jagged the pieces of me no longer fit as they once have. My soul, the original idea of the basis that there is a perfect one self, which I can strive for. My ideal being that should shine but shivered in the shadows to hide what is me; so afraid. I quiver as I can imagine what I would do if I came to a road where If I had no choice but to fail. Accomplishing nothing is worthless if you don’t eventually learn from your mistakes. Repeating history, not only do I feel is redundant but is in fact pointless up to a point you must prove. The architect, the analyzer of life and the one who will discover ……….. __________________ I define myself as unusual because I do what I think is right. I feel that there's a beautiful inspiration of wisdom waiting to evolve itself into it's full natural state in which it deserves to flourish but constantly ignoring the right decision to make too to continue this world of routine of struggle with my self only to believe in self worth Some things are better unsaid; so I write them instead http://www.myspace.com/lewddog

09-05-2006, 08:13 AM	#2 (permalink)
lpoet POET Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 12,672	i like the way the poem was broken up into sections..it made the poem a lot more managable to me..it also brought a needed pause to what seemed like short paragraphs..usually not a fan of this type of format but it seems to work with this..funny how sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn..shrugs... nice piece man __________________ "SHE CAME BACK TO ME AND I PRAY SHE STAYS" --lpoet

09-15-2006, 02:36 AM	#4 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,139	Didn't like the structure, but I think it went just right with the poem though. I love the honesty in this piece man. There is not many people who can look into a mirror find the flaws within them. I would love to hear this in spoken word too. Keep them coming man One luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

09-20-2006, 11:37 AM	#5 (permalink)
UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Oceanside CA USA Posts: 2,965	kinda of bizzare how you label this architect and follow no structure....ah....but who am I to judge you man...I feel so bad for not including you in the 40 poet collabo...but your piece lacked stucture...it lacked that self discipline it lacked the art....but it was powerful non the less....you need to know that the same goes with this poem....it felt all over the place for me....but the way you broke it down and flip words like "become believe and become"....that was interesting...and the last one "pointless points to prove"....you have something going here....pieces of a puzzle.....no matter how broken your life might seem you can put it back together....but I think you need to focus more on your self displine...this could have been sooooo much better if you would of went over it and touched it up a tad....and you still can....no architect designs a masterpiece in one sitting I see so much potentional in you but I dont know.... I disagree with lpoet and mindsoul....and those guys are top poets but this lack of structure and thought out lines makes it seem sloppy....not that you dont care but thats the way it comes off to me...but I dont know maybe thats just your style and I admire your prose touch on things and I dont want to be the death of it because it could Blossom into its own style beyond anything else in the realm sighs just do you man....the point being I wouldnt spend so much time on this if I didnt care about you and that I notice you and yours....so take note to that and take what you want from whatever I say.... pz __________________ *The Truth isn't out there because its already landed and the Truth is:* JESUS CHRIST Oddie Sloan

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09-05-2006, 11:49 AM	#3 (permalink)
~WORDZ~ Words are my mind state Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: in the inner circle Posts: 196	I definitely admire this drop. The structure took itself takes alot of disapline. "My soul, the original idea of the basis that there is a perfect one self, which I can strive for." ^^^deep.

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