The world isn't ours, but America is

allnakey · 09-05-2006, 02:14 AM

A cold night could bring us together
Warming light would changed the weather
In hindsight I should’ve never
Let you see me shed this fever

Slowly things pass through our periphery
Letting off all that you’ve given me
Showing now there’s only a beginning
Forever was a laugh, there never was infinity

I breathe ash through smoked lungs
Beaten up and sold to be bought
Fighting to fight. I always fought
You caught me, abused me, I lost

Before the morning rises
Morrow always hides in the sun
I’d love to see beauty in time
But unwinding is the wind in my mind

Angels don’t sing us to sleep
Deep in our silence, I don’t dare speak
In fear that you’ll take advantage of me
Hiding in shadows, fear is what I keep

Not believing much in internal relief
I’m not much for our war overseas
How can we fight there?
When we haven’t found peace

Bush is bitch with arbitrary needs
Seeking oil in puddles of red greed
A soldier’s death isn’t the freedom we seek
In god we trust, but as a Christian I retreat

UFO the Phoenix · 09-05-2006, 02:28 AM

Woooord up!....this was tight man....not as raw as that piece I read last night but nice none the less.....touch on some current events many wanna ignore....I felt this

holla

lewdDog · 09-05-2006, 04:21 AM

i truefully feel like you could have done allot better with this subject...ive read allot of your work and loved most of it but honestly feel this is below ur potential but maybe u rushed it idk....decent piece but just expected more, not trashing...one luv

lpoet · 09-05-2006, 08:21 AM

hot hot hot...

man i like this beacuse it seems like u sort of steped out of your comfort zone and came with something fresh...

I breathe ash through smoked lungs
Beaten up and sold to be bought
Fighting to fight. I always fought
You caught me, abused me, I lost

dope..very relatable..

Before the morning rises
Morrow always hides in the sun
I’d love to see beauty in time
But unwinding is the wind in my mind

love the imagery..i saw this as i read and thats always a huge plus for me...

I've always admired your style and usage of words..your work is always so clean structured and well place....so unlike mines..lol

great job man...

~WORDZ~ · 09-05-2006, 11:37 AM

I liked this piece but you had me a lil confused. When I started reading I thought it was about a relationship that wasn't perfect but you could work with it. But then at the end I was like huh? Almost seem like you wrote each stanza in a different mind frame or something. still a nice drop though.

09-05-2006, 02:14 AM	#1 (permalink)
allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 2,860	The world isn't ours, but America is A cold night could bring us together Warming light would changed the weather In hindsight I should’ve never Let you see me shed this fever Slowly things pass through our periphery Letting off all that you’ve given me Showing now there’s only a beginning Forever was a laugh, there never was infinity I breathe ash through smoked lungs Beaten up and sold to be bought Fighting to fight. I always fought You caught me, abused me, I lost Before the morning rises Morrow always hides in the sun I’d love to see beauty in time But unwinding is the wind in my mind Angels don’t sing us to sleep Deep in our silence, I don’t dare speak In fear that you’ll take advantage of me Hiding in shadows, fear is what I keep Not believing much in internal relief I’m not much for our war overseas How can we fight there? When we haven’t found peace Bush is bitch with arbitrary needs Seeking oil in puddles of red greed A soldier’s death isn’t the freedom we seek In god we trust, but as a Christian I retreat __________________ And I sat watching a flower As it was withering I was embarrassed by its honesty So I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face Not this fucking wreck That's taken its place get some balls biatch or else Last edited by allnakey; 09-05-2006 at 02:44 AM.

09-05-2006, 02:28 AM	#2 (permalink)
UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Oceanside CA USA Posts: 2,965	Woooord up!....this was tight man....not as raw as that piece I read last night but nice none the less.....touch on some current events many wanna ignore....I felt this holla __________________ *The Truth isn't out there because its already landed and the Truth is:* JESUS CHRIST Oddie Sloan

09-05-2006, 04:21 AM	#3 (permalink)
lewdDog Life is are own illusion Join Date: May 2003 Location: long island Posts: 340	i truefully feel like you could have done allot better with this subject...ive read allot of your work and loved most of it but honestly feel this is below ur potential but maybe u rushed it idk....decent piece but just expected more, not trashing...one luv __________________ I define myself as unusual because I do what I think is right. I feel that there's a beautiful inspiration of wisdom waiting to evolve itself into it's full natural state in which it deserves to flourish but constantly ignoring the right decision to make too to continue this world of routine of struggle with my self only to believe in self worth Some things are better unsaid; so I write them instead http://www.myspace.com/lewddog

09-05-2006, 08:21 AM	#4 (permalink)
lpoet POET Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 12,672	hot hot hot... man i like this beacuse it seems like u sort of steped out of your comfort zone and came with something fresh... I breathe ash through smoked lungs Beaten up and sold to be bought Fighting to fight. I always fought You caught me, abused me, I lost dope..very relatable.. Before the morning rises Morrow always hides in the sun I’d love to see beauty in time But unwinding is the wind in my mind love the imagery..i saw this as i read and thats always a huge plus for me... I've always admired your style and usage of words..your work is always so clean structured and well place....so unlike mines..lol great job man... __________________ "SHE CAME BACK TO ME AND I PRAY SHE STAYS" --lpoet

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09-05-2006, 11:37 AM	#5 (permalink)
~WORDZ~ Words are my mind state Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: in the inner circle Posts: 196	I liked this piece but you had me a lil confused. When I started reading I thought it was about a relationship that wasn't perfect but you could work with it. But then at the end I was like huh? Almost seem like you wrote each stanza in a different mind frame or something. still a nice drop though.

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