Decline

lpoet · 08-29-2006, 12:01 AM

Unearthed symbolisms of
The infamous cover-ups by our
Governments “isms” got our
Young men thinking their dying
In glory
Choosing to chew on the simple lie
To full to digest the complex truth

Depressed

Still trying to discover
Traces of repentance beneath
The unsteady rhythm of religion
Lost within my way
Day dreaming in the night
Due to new found perceptions of life
Yet and still strength and beauty
Stand in my corner in the presence of my
Soon to be wife and brilliant daughter
At 3,22 and 23 we’ve already accomplished
Great things for a black family including a father
Held intact today is a rare thing

Life

I’d die happy in these souls eyes
For they are the tendons that make it
Possible for these weak knees to rise
No I
Take it back cause
Mamas cries would flood my casket and
Blur my eyes and I’d plead to Jesus to
Give me life giving up forever for
One more today for she 2 is a reason Id stay

Unwarented

Love selfishly sits in the corners of nothingness
Waiting for that moment to pull me asidie
Gentle breezes have become torrid winds
I’ve tried
I’ve lied
I’ve given
I’ve taken
I’ve lost and
I lose

Suicide…

Depressed Life Unwarented Suicide...Continued

Xero Satsujin · 08-29-2006, 01:16 AM

I don't know why, perhaps the different views that can be seens from this, but it reminded me of one of Malcom X's speeches...I tell my girl all the time that Dr. King and Malcom X had the same message, just two different ways of getting it across. Pacifism works for some while Any Means Necessary works for others, but nonetheless it's a possitive message filled with sorrow of reality.

A persons life on display I would say is my best thought on this piece...I still think of Malcom X when I read this, and I've read it over twice while typing this out...Good stuff, makes me think...

~WORDZ~ · 08-29-2006, 03:49 AM

of course i loved this drop. as usual

poeticdreamz · 08-29-2006, 08:17 AM

this is hot. i have to give you your props on this. It was ridiculous, all the different stand points really hit the nail on the head man. wicked drop

lpoet · 09-01-2006, 06:57 AM

thanks for the love

Nebulaz · 09-01-2006, 06:55 PM

I was gonna quote my favorite few lines from this, like I normally do. But when I read it again, and started thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that everything needs to be together. It all works so well as a whole that I can't just quote a few lines because as a whole they are to ill to separate. Nice read L.

MC_Paste · 09-02-2006, 01:21 AM

I always appreciate poems that talk to people, yes writing poetry for self is great (not to downsize its impact) but when we* write for seomeone else, it shows empathy, sympathy and more importantly, courage.

so good job on this and if its not too much to ask for, peep my piece "Guilty As Charged"

one love man

UFO the Phoenix · 09-02-2006, 01:04 PM

I love this man....real talk man....remind me of my last poem "Written Suicide"....this poem was just tight all around man....it really is good to have you here

this seemed like a life that was grounded in reality in search of a fairytale ending....in a quest to develope true love instead of moving towards lukewarm war.....maybe we all need to decline.....our egos...our opinions...our very lives....in order to bring others up.....I once heard you gotta get down before you can get up...and thats what I took from this

I'd really like to see you in the Realm Resurrection....and I would like to interview you

get at me

illpoetical · 09-03-2006, 08:54 PM

i like this alot L i haven't seen you write in this format, granted im not on all the time but i still like this piece. stay up

At 3,22 and 23 we’ve already accomplished
Great things for a black family including a father
Held intact today is a rare thing

allnakey · 09-04-2006, 02:31 AM

"Great things for a black family including a father
Held intact today is a rare thing"

Man that's truth and something that's much respected, keep on keeping on with that shit and hold your own down. Man this shit is just real, got the current as well as the personal views up in this. Really feeling this to death man. Wish I could write like this, just eye opening and the images though not really detailed mean so fucking much in this piece. Al around just a piece I'm kind of jelous of, real talk baby, and that's what's up

Stay Up, Much Love, Peace

lewdDog · 09-05-2006, 03:56 AM

wow i like this one here poet...great way how u seperated your piece into sections that can come together as one answer to the outcome of the poem....it seems like u took ur time with this....i really enjoyed the read keep it up !

Mind~$oul · 09-11-2006, 02:58 PM

"Life

I’d die happy in these souls eyes
For they are the tendons that make it
Possible for these weak knees to rise
No I
Take it back cause
Mamas cries would flood my casket and
Blur my eyes and I’d plead to Jesus to
Give me life giving up forever for
One more today for she 2 is a reason Id stay"

^Those were some strong words man. I really liked the way you set this poem up man. You've been coming up with crazy stuff lately. I actually wrote a response to this poem here. I'ma have to send it to you when I finish it up.

one luv

Definit_ · 09-11-2006, 05:23 PM

Still trying to discover
Traces of repentance beneath
The unsteady rhythm of religion
Lost within my way
Day dreaming in the night
Due to new found perceptions of life

^^Thats strong to me.. I love the style of this piece, well constructed..I'm really starting to like this site even more. Especially when i see writtens that inspire me. I Appreciate it

Bless.

akqrate · 09-11-2006, 09:59 PM

Oh my. Dude I haven't replied to anything in over a year but I felt I just had to with this piece. This was perfect... I don't know what to say about it except for the way it was written conveyed each feeling, each emotion, each life and each lifelessness to its fullest. Very, very well written piece man, well done.

Deaf Def · 09-17-2006, 09:24 PM

very nice man, keep up the good work!

Red1 · 09-18-2006, 01:26 AM

I liked it up until the last verse with the series of short sentences. It doesnt seem to fit to me or add to the poem in any way. I was really feeling the rhythym up until that point. I also enjoyed the content but the ending sort of was a sour note.

Good job!

absolute zero · 09-18-2006, 11:46 AM

Damn. 15 replies my homie is on FIYAH.

Put very well together. I'm liking where you went with this one. And the words in between each stanza came together great as well. The only thing I could find wrong with this one was that you used "their" when you should've used "they're" in the first stanza. Blah. Look at me getting picky. Great piece.

Bless.

08-29-2006, 12:01 AM	#1 (permalink)
lpoet POET Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 12,672	Decline Unearthed symbolisms of The infamous cover-ups by our Governments “isms” got our Young men thinking their dying In glory Choosing to chew on the simple lie To full to digest the complex truth Depressed Still trying to discover Traces of repentance beneath The unsteady rhythm of religion Lost within my way Day dreaming in the night Due to new found perceptions of life Yet and still strength and beauty Stand in my corner in the presence of my Soon to be wife and brilliant daughter At 3,22 and 23 we’ve already accomplished Great things for a black family including a father Held intact today is a rare thing Life I’d die happy in these souls eyes For they are the tendons that make it Possible for these weak knees to rise No I Take it back cause Mamas cries would flood my casket and Blur my eyes and I’d plead to Jesus to Give me life giving up forever for One more today for she 2 is a reason Id stay Unwarented Love selfishly sits in the corners of nothingness Waiting for that moment to pull me asidie Gentle breezes have become torrid winds I’ve tried I’ve lied I’ve given I’ve taken I’ve lost and I lose Suicide… Depressed Life Unwarented Suicide...Continued __________________ "SHE CAME BACK TO ME AND I PRAY SHE STAYS" --lpoet

08-29-2006, 01:16 AM	#2 (permalink)
Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Sinking into the paper, like I was ink Posts: 2,196	I don't know why, perhaps the different views that can be seens from this, but it reminded me of one of Malcom X's speeches...I tell my girl all the time that Dr. King and Malcom X had the same message, just two different ways of getting it across. Pacifism works for some while Any Means Necessary works for others, but nonetheless it's a possitive message filled with sorrow of reality. A persons life on display I would say is my best thought on this piece...I still think of Malcom X when I read this, and I've read it over twice while typing this out...Good stuff, makes me think... __________________ !.¸(`!.¸Xero Satsujin¸.!`)¸.! "Laissez les bon temps rouler" "Time to a writer is like play dough in the hands of a toddler..."

08-29-2006, 08:17 AM	#4 (permalink)
poeticdreamz Tha Dreamer Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Miami,FL 305 Posts: 78	this is hot. i have to give you your props on this. It was ridiculous, all the different stand points really hit the nail on the head man. wicked drop __________________ Words seem to consist of letters in lines, but all my words consist of are thoughts in minds.

09-01-2006, 06:57 AM	#5 (permalink)
lpoet POET Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 12,672	thanks for the love __________________ "SHE CAME BACK TO ME AND I PRAY SHE STAYS" --lpoet

09-01-2006, 06:55 PM	#6 (permalink)
Nebulaz fear God, not man Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 935	I was gonna quote my favorite few lines from this, like I normally do. But when I read it again, and started thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that everything needs to be together. It all works so well as a whole that I can't just quote a few lines because as a whole they are to ill to separate. Nice read L. __________________ "It is impossible to account for the creation of the universe without the agency of a Supreme Being. It is impossible to govern the universe without the aid of a Supreme Being. It is impossible to reason without arriving at a Supreme Being. Religion is as necessary to reason as reason is to religion. The one cannot exist without the other. A reasoning being would lose reason in attempting to account for the great phenomena of nature, had he not a Supreme Being to refer to; and will has it been said, that if there had been no God, mankind would have been obliged to imagine one." - - George Washington

08-29-2006, 03:49 AM	#3 (permalink)
~WORDZ~ Words are my mind state Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: in the inner circle Posts: 196	of course i loved this drop. as usual

09-02-2006, 01:21 AM	#7 (permalink)
MC_Paste • Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 2,575	I always appreciate poems that talk to people, yes writing poetry for self is great (not to downsize its impact) but when we* write for seomeone else, it shows empathy, sympathy and more importantly, courage. so good job on this and if its not too much to ask for, peep my piece "Guilty As Charged" one love man Last edited by MC_Paste; 09-02-2006 at 09:31 PM.

09-02-2006, 01:04 PM	#8 (permalink)
UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Oceanside CA USA Posts: 2,965	I love this man....real talk man....remind me of my last poem "Written Suicide"....this poem was just tight all around man....it really is good to have you here this seemed like a life that was grounded in reality in search of a fairytale ending....in a quest to develope true love instead of moving towards lukewarm war.....maybe we all need to decline.....our egos...our opinions...our very lives....in order to bring others up.....I once heard you gotta get down before you can get up...and thats what I took from this I'd really like to see you in the Realm Resurrection....and I would like to interview you get at me __________________ *The Truth isn't out there because its already landed and the Truth is:* JESUS CHRIST Oddie Sloan

09-03-2006, 08:54 PM	#9 (permalink)
illpoetical raising the bar everyday Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Long Island Posts: 1,533	i like this alot L i haven't seen you write in this format, granted im not on all the time but i still like this piece. stay up At 3,22 and 23 we’ve already accomplished Great things for a black family including a father Held intact today is a rare thing __________________ How vain it is to sit down and write when you have not stood up to live. The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think.

09-04-2006, 02:31 AM	#10 (permalink)
allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 2,860	"Great things for a black family including a father Held intact today is a rare thing" Man that's truth and something that's much respected, keep on keeping on with that shit and hold your own down. Man this shit is just real, got the current as well as the personal views up in this. Really feeling this to death man. Wish I could write like this, just eye opening and the images though not really detailed mean so fucking much in this piece. Al around just a piece I'm kind of jelous of, real talk baby, and that's what's up Stay Up, Much Love, Peace __________________ And I sat watching a flower As it was withering I was embarrassed by its honesty So I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face Not this fucking wreck That's taken its place get some balls biatch or else

09-05-2006, 03:56 AM	#11 (permalink)
lewdDog Life is are own illusion Join Date: May 2003 Location: long island Posts: 340	wow i like this one here poet...great way how u seperated your piece into sections that can come together as one answer to the outcome of the poem....it seems like u took ur time with this....i really enjoyed the read keep it up ! __________________ I define myself as unusual because I do what I think is right. I feel that there's a beautiful inspiration of wisdom waiting to evolve itself into it's full natural state in which it deserves to flourish but constantly ignoring the right decision to make too to continue this world of routine of struggle with my self only to believe in self worth Some things are better unsaid; so I write them instead http://www.myspace.com/lewddog

09-11-2006, 02:58 PM	#12 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,139	"Life I’d die happy in these souls eyes For they are the tendons that make it Possible for these weak knees to rise No I Take it back cause Mamas cries would flood my casket and Blur my eyes and I’d plead to Jesus to Give me life giving up forever for One more today for she 2 is a reason Id stay" ^Those were some strong words man. I really liked the way you set this poem up man. You've been coming up with crazy stuff lately. I actually wrote a response to this poem here. I'ma have to send it to you when I finish it up. one luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

09-11-2006, 05:23 PM	#13 (permalink)
Definit_ P0ETiiCLiiCHE' Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: "Im From The State That Is IL" Posts: 206	Still trying to discover Traces of repentance beneath The unsteady rhythm of religion Lost within my way Day dreaming in the night Due to new found perceptions of life ^^Thats strong to me.. I love the style of this piece, well constructed..I'm really starting to like this site even more. Especially when i see writtens that inspire me. I Appreciate it Bless.

09-11-2006, 09:59 PM	#14 (permalink)
akqrate Ear-candy Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: These streets below the moon Posts: 401	Oh my. Dude I haven't replied to anything in over a year but I felt I just had to with this piece. This was perfect... I don't know what to say about it except for the way it was written conveyed each feeling, each emotion, each life and each lifelessness to its fullest. Very, very well written piece man, well done. __________________ Love, a game where the devil rolls the dice Not knowing when we threw ourselves in To keep our fire ablaze... akQrate

09-17-2006, 09:24 PM	#15 (permalink)
Deaf Def Tha WordSmith Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Yakima, Washington Posts: 1,225	very nice man, keep up the good work! __________________ Pz. OnE! www.soundclick.com/deafdef<- Listen to my music here (myspace page has finally arrived, more tracks up soon!) www.myspace.com/deafdef - www.myspace.com/deafinitdefinition (will be up soon) R.I.P. The Leitch (in your memory)

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

09-18-2006, 01:26 AM	#16 (permalink)
Red1 A Figure of Speech Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 1,031	I liked it up until the last verse with the series of short sentences. It doesnt seem to fit to me or add to the poem in any way. I was really feeling the rhythym up until that point. I also enjoyed the content but the ending sort of was a sour note. Good job! __________________ Well, God is in heaven And we all want what's his But power and greed and corruptible seed Seem to be all that there is -bob dylan

09-18-2006, 11:46 AM	#17 (permalink)
absolute zero I got id. Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NO NO NO Posts: 7,199	Damn. 15 replies my homie is on FIYAH. Put very well together. I'm liking where you went with this one. And the words in between each stanza came together great as well. The only thing I could find wrong with this one was that you used "their" when you should've used "they're" in the first stanza. Blah. Look at me getting picky. Great piece. Bless. __________________ They say money changes you but money don't change you it just makes you more of what you already are.

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