WHEN HEAVEN AWAITS
When Heaven Awaits…
I see it as a memory, a reverie of better days
Better ways that life can be.
Better days of life for me.
I see the past as a full circle
The only hope I have that the future can’t hurt you
Worsened by pages of tear-soaked pictures
Biblical psalms and blood-soaked scriptures
This is the memory I have when God whispers
As a song I once knew reminds me of the days
When my biggest fear would be would I be able to sleep at night
Before the boogyman I never met would at once capture me
20 years later, the boogy man grabbed me
Lost in the knowledge of a sad reality
All of our years are just time wasted
Between a happy childhood, and the finality of death.
Moments in between awaiting our last breath
Hoping fifty fifty it would be the end of our stress.
And we struggle day by day with thoughts of what it all means
Gripped in the finality of how it all seems
But it’s like, we can’t find real moments like
How we feel when we dream like
How our imagination seems so real, and
Nothing seems to move us further.
Sometimes it seems like time is standing still.
We managed to stop time, but we can’t go backwards
To the day we learned to ride a bike
Or when we had our first kiss.
Or the day BEFORE our father suddenly died, or
The first time our heart made us cry.
How the world felt when we didn’t realize
Life would never be better, or even fair ever in our eyes.
We never can go back to when we used to believe
That most were good people and dared not to deceive
The deception of youth, the youthfulness of our innocence
This is the days before we knew the needed to repent.
I cried when I became a man, 10 years too soon.
When I felt I first had to carry the weight of the world and the moon.
When death no longer scared me, especially not my own.
Now I feel like I’m stuck between being dead and being grown.
I am in Heaven’s waiting room, without an appointment
Hoping for a chance meeting with the anointed.
Sometimes I feel I’m hellbound as I walk along my path
And the only way into the gates is to walk into the past.
But I don’t know how long the worn soles on my soul will last
I found out a day to late that the I only had to ask…
Sometimes,
I wish I would never have been born…
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BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum 2005
__________________
"Voule, Voule, you say - Omega and Boule/But I'm a - Jack & Jill kid! And i'm
still rich!/I got a platinum tongue/ cause ths silver spoon in my mouth you
thought I was born wit? Turned into a platinum one/I can't apologize/Wha's the problem, guys??!?/I got a doctorate, young rich, STILL sick!/Hare I dare I stack up all this money?/Got so much that even the illuminati can't trust me/
but you love me!!!/So where them other cats?/The ones that say since I got bills, I
can't rap?/Make a BETTER track/You ain't
that ill, homie! Where
your records at?/You got better skills? Tell me how I
better rap!/Just because you from the hood - don't mean that you a gangster/Since I ain't it don't mean that I'm a faker/I wrote every single word to make this paper/Even more when you hatin'/for that, I THANK YA ..."- BlackSoultan runnin' anchor leg on the whole team!
"Brotherly Love Mixtape "The Sequel" STTS Entertainment (Black's in the Lab overseas!!)
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