Xero Satsujin V.S. Bri Boi Gee

Mind~$oul · 05-25-2004, 06:08 PM

Pick 1 out of the 4 pictures below in this link...Please post the link of the picture you chose along with your poem....[img]link address[/img] for the people who dont know how to do so....

http://board.rapmusic.com/showthrea...0961post8920961

Min=16 lines
Max=64
No Show=4

Sign in by Sunday, May 30th! Verses Due Tuesday, June 1st!

Voting due Saturday, June 5th!

Mind~$oul · 05-25-2004, 06:29 PM

The link didnt work...So here goes the pics

Brit Boi Gee · 05-25-2004, 09:37 PM

okay Im here, will make a nice break from essay writing/

Xero Satsujin · 05-25-2004, 09:57 PM

I'm in, but damn yo, that mean's I gotta hurry up and turn my shit in cause I'm leavin thursday night...aight though, I got it, lol...

Brit Boi Gee · 05-25-2004, 10:01 PM

Becoming the isle of man

Swimming in the sunsets embers, no man is an island, but,
I have been stranded since December; the snow has yet to fall
to heighten my unenlightened senses.
The quiet days have gone by, with restless thoughts of course I
have cried for union, cried for absolution,
most of all I have felt the confusion
of feeling free without wings to take me home,
and as I shrink down near the sea,
I awkwardly feel more ordinary in feeling alone.

I toss a stone and as the ripple ripens,
the rain falls in hundreds among the outstretching horizon.
And although I am cold, the sunset warms my bones,
in its aching to sleep, I am aching for home.
But this seclusion has such a calming undercurrent,
which if I didn’t know of my abode, I could call my hope
something more spiritual in which I have been provoked.

But still my heart, moves from those apart
and sinks into the gloom, all of which I consume
for the sake of expanding solitude.
my childhood wakes in me, each day after catching fish,
I sit with my sticks finding light in the wilderness.
A spark, and then its alight, all my insecurities
cling to me like a child to the tender breast,
suddenly the ocean looks massive,
and the waves seem to have more strength.

My body feels small, delicate, fragile in form,
I feel the melancholy and then oddly I feel reborn;
and occasionally, I witness the storm,
which is like both feelings being strangely torn.
And from this my moods are let out of the cage,
as I have not been angry once since the people went far away.

The days grow strange, the clouds make shapes
always staying the same, like nature churned them out,
In shapes of Gods mouth, blowing them by the wind
So I could inhale them and deface them with my imagination.
But the frustration is that I always see faces,
always faces in the sky, traces of strangers,
like the ones that would scare me in my mothers curtains,
It's these earthly burdens that are most irksome.
But there is something about them, that I long to touch,
like they are crying out to be picked up;
and dropped into something human, Like my calling to be here
was to witness myself renewing them;
and I am to relish in them and give them my fears.
But the dreams at night are barely enough to get me by,
And since there is nobody to help I feel partially alive.
But still I try to rally toward exalted moments,
towards the calm that spurs the ocean
into a rage until the flashes in the sky are reduced to ashes,
and collapse marinating in the still mill pond;
where tidal waves can only deny they belong for so long;
untill they surface sleeping in the captivating tide,
and all the great power is realised to come from inside.
Till the waves seem depraved and nothing can stir them another way,
and they come sniveling barely lapping at the sand,
so I can kneel and touch them with my weather-beaten hands.
consuming the rock salt that heals with taste of watery deep wounds,
creeping from the fingers and seeping back into the blue lagoon.
Watching the water slaughter rocks and spit them on the bay,
beating them out of shape, my home life in a similar way,
has been transformed, So in turn I drift away,
Having only my reflection and the fear of wanting to stay.

Xero Satsujin · 05-28-2004, 06:27 PM

I'm in Maine right now on a little vacation until Tuesday. It's cold and boring, but while I'm here I figured I'd submit my piece. I picked the FIRST pic, don't know why really...Finally got some time to myself to write...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Will you join me here in my Palace on the Sun? Where time sits still and light waits on no one. Patience is the virtue that rules time here. Darkness is the bane that always embraces me so near. I would like too, but I cannot ask you to stay. It is up to you, but feel free to walk away.

All are welcome here to my Palace on the Sun. A place consumed entirely by light, but inside there is none. Fire that rages on even in the darkest night. Stunning arrays of warmth, comforts, and light. A light brighter than any light could ever hope to be. The light I shine though, I cannot see.

Can I dance with you on your Stage of Stars? Where no one wears masks even though we all bear scars. This monsters masquerade is truly one of a kind. As simple as it is, it’s not something that everybody can find. Most get lost in the lore of the magic. Others forget its simplicity thinking that it’s tragic.

Few seem to want to dive into my Ocean of Stars. Each flickering light in the distance resembles scars. Diamonds that were thrown across a blanketed velvet sky. Mistaken for hopes and dreams that people often deny. Darkness stretching forever with flickering little holes. Dancing among its emptiness like lost souls.

Can I find Escape in your Eyes? Where the endless darkness of the perpetual night meets its demise. Moats of life and power stream from your tears. Eternity’s of solitude are no longer among your fears. A peer through tinted irises is just like the air. Light inside and out, light everywhere.

I would like to find Escape in the windows of your Eyes. Halos grace the rims of the iris so I fear no lies. Just as beautiful as their delicate frame. Each tear breathes oxygen to fuel their flame. Stare into the window that I present too. I want to belong to the whole entire different world inside of you.

Surreal The A.D. Prophet · 05-31-2004, 04:33 AM

brit took it, i dint really care for either piece, but brits was a nicer read.

Xero Satsujin · 06-01-2004, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Surreal The A.D. Prophet

brit took it, i dint really care for either piece, but brits was a nicer read.

^^^Uhh...so what

allnakey · 06-01-2004, 03:57 PM

This one was a real hard one for me to judge... two of my favorite poets up against one another... do I have to choose a winner? ha lol. Well both of you seemed to use the picture very well and the imagery on both pieces was tight. i got a lot out of both pieces and it's hard to chose a clear winner, but I was feeling Brit's piece just a little more for some reason. Both pieces seemed nice to me

Vote: BRIT

STay Up, Much Love, Peace

MarQuise* · 06-01-2004, 04:53 PM

*sighs* First off, both of you are winners to me, because i have alwayz enjoyed readin both of ya'll drops, but like Nakey said this one is hard to choose a winner from, both captivated me, they both stuck out as bein reallllly good drops, but i know i gots to choose one, and i hate doin this... But my vote goes to Xero Satsujin Both of you managed to use the picture as best you could, and the pic that Xero chose was a pretty difficult one i thought because so much is goin on, anywayz, well done to both of you...
Much Lv
*S*

Dark_Angel · 06-01-2004, 06:56 PM

I enjoy reading both your peices as all the others have said, and being judged on peotry...is hard because its personal in many ways, but my vote goes to BRIT just because that poem caught me more and I was involved more in it, but I still enjoyed reading Xero's peice, Brit's just seemed to have more.

DaRk NeBuLa · 06-02-2004, 10:55 PM

I really enjoyed both pieces, but let me switch names so I can vote

06-02-2004, 11:00 PM

I gotta give it to both of yall for some excellent imagery in this poems..

brit's piece brought me into a very lonely world of solitude reminding me of that tom hanks movie cast away. it was a piece of hope in things that might come in the future....
brit followed the picture nicely, but the picture was one of a windows background so I didn't think the picture he chose was very creative at all

xero's poem brought a distant hope, a very creative piece in my opinion of living on the sun, which I find to show a broad imagery and it took alot of imagination to bring the picture he chose to life. he also followed the picture, but he gave it a lil something extra that could only be seen in his imagination.... his words help me excape into a totally different world of thought

Xero Satsujin · 06-03-2004, 02:34 AM

^^^so what are you saying??? lol...

06-03-2004, 06:48 PM

oh my bad...

Vote: Xero

Alexanderdahate · 06-03-2004, 11:17 PM

i don't know why it matters if the picture is creative or not doesn't it matter what they created from it i think brits poem was much better xeros just wasn't for me i guess it had its parts but brits just seemed good all the way through the way the words meshed so vote is for brit

Mind~$oul · 06-06-2004, 04:46 PM

winner=brit boi gee

05-24-2004, 01:37 AM	#1 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,139	Xero Satsujin V.S. Bri Boi Gee .... __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

05-25-2004, 06:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,139	Pick 1 out of the 4 pictures below in this link...Please post the link of the picture you chose along with your poem....[img]link address[/img] for the people who dont know how to do so.... http://board.rapmusic.com/showthrea...0961post8920961 Min=16 lines Max=64 No Show=4 Sign in by Sunday, May 30th! Verses Due Tuesday, June 1st! Voting due Saturday, June 5th! __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

05-25-2004, 06:29 PM	#3 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,139	The link didnt work...So here goes the pics __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden Last edited by lpoet; 05-25-2004 at 09:34 PM.

05-25-2004, 09:37 PM	#4 (permalink)
Brit Boi Gee manifest the zen Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Near To Athena Posts: 15,841	okay Im here, will make a nice break from essay writing/ __________________ Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel. -William Shakespeare Brit Boi has a highly calibrated wifermometer

05-25-2004, 09:57 PM	#5 (permalink)
Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Sinking into the paper, like I was ink Posts: 2,196	I'm in, but damn yo, that mean's I gotta hurry up and turn my shit in cause I'm leavin thursday night...aight though, I got it, lol... __________________ !.¸(`!.¸Xero Satsujin¸.!`)¸.! "Laissez les bon temps rouler" "Time to a writer is like play dough in the hands of a toddler..."

05-25-2004, 10:01 PM	#6 (permalink)
Brit Boi Gee manifest the zen Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Near To Athena Posts: 15,841	Becoming the isle of man Swimming in the sunsets embers, no man is an island, but, I have been stranded since December; the snow has yet to fall to heighten my unenlightened senses. The quiet days have gone by, with restless thoughts of course I have cried for union, cried for absolution, most of all I have felt the confusion of feeling free without wings to take me home, and as I shrink down near the sea, I awkwardly feel more ordinary in feeling alone. I toss a stone and as the ripple ripens, the rain falls in hundreds among the outstretching horizon. And although I am cold, the sunset warms my bones, in its aching to sleep, I am aching for home. But this seclusion has such a calming undercurrent, which if I didn’t know of my abode, I could call my hope something more spiritual in which I have been provoked. But still my heart, moves from those apart and sinks into the gloom, all of which I consume for the sake of expanding solitude. my childhood wakes in me, each day after catching fish, I sit with my sticks finding light in the wilderness. A spark, and then its alight, all my insecurities cling to me like a child to the tender breast, suddenly the ocean looks massive, and the waves seem to have more strength. My body feels small, delicate, fragile in form, I feel the melancholy and then oddly I feel reborn; and occasionally, I witness the storm, which is like both feelings being strangely torn. And from this my moods are let out of the cage, as I have not been angry once since the people went far away. The days grow strange, the clouds make shapes always staying the same, like nature churned them out, In shapes of Gods mouth, blowing them by the wind So I could inhale them and deface them with my imagination. But the frustration is that I always see faces, always faces in the sky, traces of strangers, like the ones that would scare me in my mothers curtains, It's these earthly burdens that are most irksome. But there is something about them, that I long to touch, like they are crying out to be picked up; and dropped into something human, Like my calling to be here was to witness myself renewing them; and I am to relish in them and give them my fears. But the dreams at night are barely enough to get me by, And since there is nobody to help I feel partially alive. But still I try to rally toward exalted moments, towards the calm that spurs the ocean into a rage until the flashes in the sky are reduced to ashes, and collapse marinating in the still mill pond; where tidal waves can only deny they belong for so long; untill they surface sleeping in the captivating tide, and all the great power is realised to come from inside. Till the waves seem depraved and nothing can stir them another way, and they come sniveling barely lapping at the sand, so I can kneel and touch them with my weather-beaten hands. consuming the rock salt that heals with taste of watery deep wounds, creeping from the fingers and seeping back into the blue lagoon. Watching the water slaughter rocks and spit them on the bay, beating them out of shape, my home life in a similar way, has been transformed, So in turn I drift away, Having only my reflection and the fear of wanting to stay. __________________ Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel. -William Shakespeare Brit Boi has a highly calibrated wifermometer Last edited by Brit Boi Gee; 05-29-2004 at 04:02 PM.

05-28-2004, 06:27 PM	#7 (permalink)
Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Sinking into the paper, like I was ink Posts: 2,196	Time For No One I'm in Maine right now on a little vacation until Tuesday. It's cold and boring, but while I'm here I figured I'd submit my piece. I picked the FIRST pic, don't know why really...Finally got some time to myself to write... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Will you join me here in my Palace on the Sun? Where time sits still and light waits on no one. Patience is the virtue that rules time here. Darkness is the bane that always embraces me so near. I would like too, but I cannot ask you to stay. It is up to you, but feel free to walk away. All are welcome here to my Palace on the Sun. A place consumed entirely by light, but inside there is none. Fire that rages on even in the darkest night. Stunning arrays of warmth, comforts, and light. A light brighter than any light could ever hope to be. The light I shine though, I cannot see. Can I dance with you on your Stage of Stars? Where no one wears masks even though we all bear scars. This monsters masquerade is truly one of a kind. As simple as it is, it’s not something that everybody can find. Most get lost in the lore of the magic. Others forget its simplicity thinking that it’s tragic. Few seem to want to dive into my Ocean of Stars. Each flickering light in the distance resembles scars. Diamonds that were thrown across a blanketed velvet sky. Mistaken for hopes and dreams that people often deny. Darkness stretching forever with flickering little holes. Dancing among its emptiness like lost souls. Can I find Escape in your Eyes? Where the endless darkness of the perpetual night meets its demise. Moats of life and power stream from your tears. Eternity’s of solitude are no longer among your fears. A peer through tinted irises is just like the air. Light inside and out, light everywhere. I would like to find Escape in the windows of your Eyes. Halos grace the rims of the iris so I fear no lies. Just as beautiful as their delicate frame. Each tear breathes oxygen to fuel their flame. Stare into the window that I present too. I want to belong to the whole entire different world inside of you. __________________ !.¸(`!.¸Xero Satsujin¸.!`)¸.! "Laissez les bon temps rouler" "Time to a writer is like play dough in the hands of a toddler..." Last edited by Xero Satsujin; 05-29-2004 at 11:16 PM. Reason: Uncle Craker insisted that my mother have another kid...

05-31-2004, 04:33 AM	#8 (permalink)
Surreal The A.D. Prophet Wondrous Poetic Join Date: Jun 1999 Location: Surreality, Surreality Posts: 1,809	brit took it, i dint really care for either piece, but brits was a nicer read. __________________ look at it this way, i COULD have said "nice post" and left it at that, but you wouldnt have to figure out what is wrong with me then, would you?

06-01-2004, 03:57 PM	#10 (permalink)
allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 2,860	This one was a real hard one for me to judge... two of my favorite poets up against one another... do I have to choose a winner? ha lol. Well both of you seemed to use the picture very well and the imagery on both pieces was tight. i got a lot out of both pieces and it's hard to chose a clear winner, but I was feeling Brit's piece just a little more for some reason. Both pieces seemed nice to me Vote: BRIT STay Up, Much Love, Peace __________________ And I sat watching a flower As it was withering I was embarrassed by its honesty So I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face Not this fucking wreck That's taken its place get some balls biatch or else

06-01-2004, 04:53 PM	#11 (permalink)
MarQuise* Can You Hear Me* Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: UK Posts: 5,257	sighs First off, both of you are winners to me, because i have alwayz enjoyed readin both of ya'll drops, but like Nakey said this one is hard to choose a winner from, both captivated me, they both stuck out as bein reallllly good drops, but i know i gots to choose one, and i hate doin this... But my vote goes to Xero Satsujin Both of you managed to use the picture as best you could, and the pic that Xero chose was a pretty difficult one i thought because so much is goin on, anywayz, well done to both of you... Much Lv S __________________ . . . *

06-01-2004, 06:56 PM	#12 (permalink)
Dark_Angel Dark_Angel Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Australia Posts: 798	I enjoy reading both your peices as all the others have said, and being judged on peotry...is hard because its personal in many ways, but my vote goes to BRIT just because that poem caught me more and I was involved more in it, but I still enjoyed reading Xero's peice, Brit's just seemed to have more. __________________ If You Gaze Long Into The Abyss, The Abyss Will Gaze Back At You

06-02-2004, 10:55 PM	#13 (permalink)
DaRk NeBuLa COMET THROWER... Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: CHILLEN ON ORION'S BELT Posts: 449	I really enjoyed both pieces, but let me switch names so I can vote __________________ I CrEAtEd ThE AbYs$ ThAt MaDe YoU ABySmaL OvErlOokiNg ThE GaLaXy... yOu CaN't EsCaPe mY PeRipHerAl.. Last edited by DaRk NeBuLa; 06-02-2004 at 11:04 PM.

06-02-2004, 11:00 PM	#14 (permalink)
MANchyld Guest Posts: n/a	I gotta give it to both of yall for some excellent imagery in this poems.. brit's piece brought me into a very lonely world of solitude reminding me of that tom hanks movie cast away. it was a piece of hope in things that might come in the future.... brit followed the picture nicely, but the picture was one of a windows background so I didn't think the picture he chose was very creative at all xero's poem brought a distant hope, a very creative piece in my opinion of living on the sun, which I find to show a broad imagery and it took alot of imagination to bring the picture he chose to life. he also followed the picture, but he gave it a lil something extra that could only be seen in his imagination.... his words help me excape into a totally different world of thought

06-03-2004, 02:34 AM	#15 (permalink)
Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Sinking into the paper, like I was ink Posts: 2,196	^^^so what are you saying??? lol... __________________ !.¸(`!.¸Xero Satsujin¸.!`)¸.! "Laissez les bon temps rouler" "Time to a writer is like play dough in the hands of a toddler..."

06-03-2004, 06:48 PM	#16 (permalink)
MANchyld Guest Posts: n/a	oh my bad... Vote: Xero

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06-03-2004, 11:17 PM	#17 (permalink)
Alexanderdahate Registered User Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,454	i don't know why it matters if the picture is creative or not doesn't it matter what they created from it i think brits poem was much better xeros just wasn't for me i guess it had its parts but brits just seemed good all the way through the way the words meshed so vote is for brit

06-06-2004, 04:46 PM	#18 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,139	winner=brit boi gee __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

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