|
Bah Fangooly Da Bear
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 7,336
|
I'm the roundest mound of rebound... Charlie B slings marijuana
If my ex ain't shaved my back, you coulda called me Harry Potter
I'm a lotta man to love, I got more pounds than British banks
But I'm still good with the ladies, I still nail the thinnest skanks
My chins've smacked plenty of clits, hoes tell me that it tickles
When the fat man goes downtown before I stick em' with the pickle
I figure, what the fuck? In bed, I ain't thinking of myself
Shit, I might as well eat them, already ate everything else
But my girls got things in common, they're all low class trailer trash
They'd have to be, for someone fat as me to git up in that ass...
My door knocks... There stands Keisha, tryna cop a nick on credit
Tryna say she'll pay on Friday, so I tell this bitch, "Forget it"
Fuck a credit, I got bills to pay, peeps to see, and things to do
So in her pothead desperation, she makes a deal I can't refuse
"You know my homegirl Susan?" "No" "She models Calvin Klein
And I can hook you up with her, she's a real good friend of mine"
Yo, so I'm always up for models, and this girl sounds like a dime
So Keisha takes her nickle bag, and says "Pick her up at nine"
At nine?!? Good lawd, got shit to do, need a haircut and a shave
Plus, I'm a fat man, and a fat man needs some extra time to bathe
Check the clock, it's ten to five, shit, I only got four hours
I'm gonna have to pick and choose the body parts that I'ma shower...
I pick my dick and ass, my face and pits, mos' def my chest
They're the parts that matter most, I'll spray cologne around the rest...
It's five to nine, it's time to ride and leave the rest to fate
I'm shaking, fat is jiggling... I shouldnt've took this date
I pull up to her condo, honk the horn then reconsider
Will she get the wrong impression if I take her out to dinner?
The first date is the hardest when you're packing fat like I do
And if she see me eat, she'll prolly freak, and then it's the "goodbye dude"
It's too late, damn she look great, with legs up to her elbows
But her pretty face takes an awkward shape as we exchange our "hellos"
Her disgust is matched by my utter lust, a ugly combination
I'm drooling while she's fuming, I try an start the conversation
"What's poppin Ma? My god you're tight, Keisha wasn't lying
She said you was my type, but damn, you ain't just hot, you frying"
"Yeah, that's nice, I owed her one, I don't usually take blind dates
And I had some things to do, but hell, I guess that shit can wait
So what do you have planned, cuz damn, I'm starving worse than hell
And I'm sure you won't mind eating... No offense, but I can tell"
She got a sense of humor, dude, already cracking fat man humor
But she ain't plain rude, and hey, it's food, if she ain't like me, screw her
All movement stopped at the restaurant the second we walked in
Whispers flew about, "Hey, what's that girl doing with him?"
Susan must've noticed... Me? I focused on the floor
Feeling madd self-concious, don't wanna be here anymore
Until she took my arm, and gave a reassuring squeeze
Held my hand, I held her chair, sat down and shot the breeze
Damn, she's really funny, and she's smart, she seems to like me
When I felt her shoe come off, and her toes rubbing my right knee
Turns out she hated men who stumbled, and she thought my game was chill
And she was reaching for my zipper while I'm reachin for the bill
The moral's that a whore'll go for men who ain't afraid
To be themselves and mack their game, it's them dudes who get laid
__________________
We done faced drama before
Ray Ocean went off to war
George tryna kill off the next shit
's why I voted for Gore
|
Linear Mode
