Fall Topical Tourney:: l-dogg \/ pinnacle

This is a discussion on Fall Topical Tourney:: l-dogg \/ pinnacle within the the Onslaught forums, part of the Written Emcee Area - Text Only category; verses due 11:59pm eastern Tuesday votes due 11:59am Saturday Rd 1 is open mic week, create your own open mic, ...


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Old 11-08-2003, 02:03 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!
Fall Topical Tourney:: l-dogg \/ pinnacle

verses due 11:59pm eastern Tuesday
votes due 11:59am Saturday

Rd 1 is open mic week, create your own open mic, it can be about anything, just make sure it's good enough to impress your voter

::line limit::

20 bars min :: 40 bars max

no more no less

there will be no extensions, bitching, or bull shit tolerated

if you want to win and think you can win, show up on time, follw the rules, and post a quotable verse

good luck to everyone

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Old 11-08-2003, 02:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Downed Shadow takes it up the butt!
checking in..
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Old 11-10-2003, 01:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
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P i n n a c l e takes it up the butt!
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Old 11-10-2003, 01:28 PM   #4 (permalink)
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P i n n a c l e takes it up the butt!
my fuse is quickly burning, towards the explosion of my mind
a spark sailing down the wick, leaving a trail of ash behind
cos we find that one mans temper can only stretch so far
until the elasticity of fury reciols, back to where u are
rather be in control by far, but no man is capable of that
it's unreachable, trapped, and my minds windows painted black
blinded by the boiling rage, but only the outer edge is bubbling
and in an instant the pot is knocked, and now the bubbles doubling
and as if like a surging hollow tip, rushed right out of the hole
a coaster ride cold, white knuckles fold, bone to skin scolds
then a sudden stop of the train, or the rain, poured on flames
back down to calm, can now refrain, from baring angers pain

as i plead for respect my soul bleeds with regret
and it feeds my upset i jus need to forget
all the torment an torture boiled up in my head
i was a blue sea but now i run red
my head was in pain but seeped thru my brain
if it persists to maintain my fury won't be contained
and anger will rain down upon them and you
and i will face turbulence cos they jus wont see my view
the wrath of the anger the pain of the rage
the path out of danger lies ahead of this page
so i attack demons not physically, but with words
to wipe the slate clean, and, make peace with the world
and live oh so tranquil just with me and my mind
and jus let poetry flow and let my trouble unwind
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Last edited by P i n n a c l e; 11-10-2003 at 01:31 PM.
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Old 11-11-2003, 09:54 PM   #5 (permalink)
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LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!
The feelings Of A Broken Finger



baby bursting panic, a crazy exerted rabid rabbit
the feeling of 'you have to have it' including an emergency attachment
you see its hurting in knees, through jackets, applaud at cures
only time my fucking fingers played with like this, is during manicures
its like seeing manikin tears, e mailed ya nerves..had them send fear
start day dreaming, seein penguins an think Billy Madison’s near
eye opening surprise like Christmas, but hide the wish list
like u do a wife’s forgiveness if she ever finds ya mistress
the unexplained pain, that drifts down streams of change
bad times _chapter ect.. read the page.. its means engraved
impact of a panic attack, thinking white when really Santa was black
the sorrow of greed when u had it and was handin it back
drinking out of a Mexicans flask.. complexed again.. pass
hand out experience through liquid and mouth it in mass
numb the worries with rum an hurry until im spun an hurling
cuz its fun and curling my toes back.. like an old mase track
sit back and think back to when we listened to blacks make rap
ignore the bent structure and be glad your the conditions mint fucker
maybe blaze a bowl.. an let it take control, until the day goes dull
then play the roll, of a sonic tumble an daze into a Sega stroll
see with a broken finger I break the mold, an don’t think controlled
its that way im told, due to the stable hold, that my brain has sold
in exchange for gold, to the insane an old, pain aka an anal probe
weeks later I can hop in my whip, grab tha wheel without my Popsicle stick
unwind the tape and dropping that shit like ass an color of Mexican sprint.
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Old 11-12-2003, 01:00 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!
upping for votes...

thanks to both of you for posting...
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Old 11-15-2003, 12:34 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Hatred takes it up the butt!
l dogg took this easily....fresher concept,better multi's n storytellig overall...pinnacle u gotta lotta potential dawg but ya inter bar rhyme scheme is still basic...most of ya multi's were simple 1 or 2 syllable counts mostly at the end of your lines...story was aight it was jus lackin tha fundamentals of a winning verse....vote:l dogg....pz
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Old 11-15-2003, 01:03 AM   #8 (permalink)
The Pain and the Poetry
 
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Judge:

coo battle..nothing special from either writer...pinnacle solid verse...but you really lacked in any kind of story structure....you write well and have plenty potential but your weakness was in the story...you didnt create anything within the verse to pull me in and make me wanna read more...but otherwise...i was feeling what you were doing with it..just came up a lil short...l dogg...solid verse...flowed well..and we all you know your a good writer....you took this with basically better content and a lil more interesting topic then pinnacle...came a lil fresher...but still nothing amazing...kinda dissapointmented....i know you can do better..but still..

vote=l dogg
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Old 11-15-2003, 12:45 PM   #9 (permalink)
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HighPawTheCyst takes it up the butt!
winner: l-dogg
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