Am i any good?

[MrSmo0th]

Verse 2 of my last song:



Blackjack a dum ••••• cross the back of his dome
cus i dont wanna flash the chrome when im to far from home

ya never know what kinda snakes be eyein ya up
ya kill the wrong mother f***er and ill bet ya get bucked

laided out on the bricks hole in ya chest stiff
next thing ya know ya dead body's dumped off a cliff

thats how it goes down im my neck of the woods
cus no matter where im at im allways up to no good

its smooth from the block, my rhymes are top notch
man f**k ludacris i got the number one spot

im on that down south tip kickin it till it flip
i know im alil flashy 36's on my whip

but i like that shit bitches sit up take notice
i've advanced from a novice to now im pro wit this

ill take on anyone with my whiteboy flow
wether there twenty-one and o, or zero an tweny-four

come get it mother f***ers if you want it here i am
when i kick a freestyle all ya hear is god dam

an the crowd goes coconuts screamin my name
ya'll mother f***ers better recognize im runnin the game

[*Deuce Wilde*]

Blackjack a dum ••••• cross the back of his dome
cus i dont wanna flash the chrome when im to far from home

alright, but i don't know what the blackjack thing's about...

ya never know what kinda snakes be eyein ya up
ya kill the wrong mother f***er and ill bet ya get bucked

nah, too basic, doesn't rhyme...

laided out on the bricks hole in ya chest stiff
next thing ya know ya dead body's dumped off a cliff

hmmm, interesting but nuthin special...

thats how it goes down im my neck of the woods
cus no matter where im at im allways up to no good

basic but okay i guess

its smooth from the block, my rhymes are top notch
man f**k ludacris i got the number one spot

rather braggadacious...

im on that down south tip kickin it till it flip
i know im alil flashy 36's on my whip

not feelin it...

but i like that shit bitches sit up take notice
i've advanced from a novice to now im pro wit this

rhyme is a stretch man...

ill take on anyone with my whiteboy flow
wether there twenty-one and o, or zero an tweny-four

sounds cool flow-wise, but nuthin great

come get it mother f***ers if you want it here i am
when i kick a freestyle all ya hear is god dam

could sound hot on audio

an the crowd goes coconuts screamin my name
ya'll mother f***ers better recognize im runnin the game

braggadacious again...

i think it would be best to hear this on audio and how it flows, if you've got a dope delivery and flow and a hot beat the simplicity can be overlooked, there were just a few things i would change that i noted in the breakdown... it ain't wack but it ain't hot, just keep up man...

[boox]

you sound a little forced like what your sayin is what you expect other people to be talkin about be your self speak about what you know

[Halloween Jack]

u need work bro...
stick around the dojo...