Need advice on this...

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Lyrical DOJO RM Vets experienced in HIP HOP to teach New emcees how to write effectively...

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Old 08-16-2005, 11:47 PM   #1 (permalink)
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TuT. takes it up the butt!
Need advice on this...

I have ben writing my own lyrics for almost a month now, yeah i just started, but im still haveing trouble writing, i just started something and don't know how it is, could anyone give me advice that could help me write? Thanks!

TuT's the name you'll be hearing more that once//
If you don't you will be sportin hats that say Dunce//
Im not trying to gain fame, just writin lines and spittin game//
Original gangsta, yeah right im an original white wangsta//
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Old 08-21-2005, 03:40 AM   #2 (permalink)
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you need more ³³³³³³³³³³...

not saying that something simple can't be good, but TOO simple is.... ehhh...

work on expanding your vocabulary...


keep working on it though, you got the easy part down, at least it rhymes...
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Old 08-21-2005, 03:43 AM   #3 (permalink)
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c o m p l e x i t y is blocked? wtf...
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Old 08-27-2005, 12:47 AM   #4 (permalink)
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DawnOfaDynasty takes it up the butt!
alwayz stay on topic, whateva the song's about that is
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Old 09-04-2005, 10:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
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TuT. takes it up the butt!
Ight here is almost finished prod...

Ight here is my almost finished product, takeing me a while but i want it to be good, seeing as its is my first song... and please tell me if this is any good, i have peeps telling me this is ight but i wanna hear stuff from peeps that have ben doing this alot longer than the people i hang with.

(Chorus "repeat 2x")
TuT's the name you'll be hearing more than once//
If you don't you will be sportin hats that say Dunce//
Im not trying to gain fame, just writin lines and spittin game//
Original gangsta, yeah right im a white wangsta in shame//
Gansta, wangsta, they both mean the same to me,
if you don't think they do than you obviously can't see//
But were getting off topic, this is an intro about TuT//
I'll never tell you anything unless you park your fucking but//

(Vers 1)
Age sixteen, don't know were to go, don't even got a liscence drive,
Five foot nine, never did time, just spitin game just to stay alive//
I had a girl in the past, she made me feel like an out cast to society,
Im done with that bitch, she dumped me cause i was not a big priority//
Just a young emcee growin up in shelton's ghetto, getting in god's good grace//
Spittin my lyrics right in your face, my peeps tell me to keep on the pace//

(Chorus 2 "repeat 2x")
TuT's the name that you heard more than once//
If you didn't you should have the hat that says dunce//
Im not tryin to gain fame, just writin lines and spittin game//
Original gansta, yeah right im a white wangsta in shame//
Gangsta, wangsta they both mean the same to me,
If you don't think they do then obviously you can't see//
But were getting off topic, this is an intro's about TuT,
I'll never tell you anything unless you park your fucking but

Last edited by TuT.; 09-05-2005 at 01:20 AM.
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Old 09-04-2005, 10:18 PM   #6 (permalink)
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DawnOfaDynasty takes it up the butt!
verse is good, but way too short; chorus is way too long man
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Cash is the topic, the object, a fatter pocket, Some take the crack and chop it, but those that haven't got it, take away the added profit, it's catastrophic, I take the gat and cock it, and I'll sit back and watch it>>>Rakim<<<

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Old 09-05-2005, 01:18 AM   #7 (permalink)
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TuT. takes it up the butt!
Thanks!

i know the chorus is to long, but it fits right into the beat im writing it to, its a short beat but the chorus parts are kinda long and the vers parts are short, so.
But thanks for your feedback tho...
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Old 09-05-2005, 03:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
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streetpoet06 takes it up the butt!
try multi rhyming
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Old 09-05-2005, 06:09 PM   #9 (permalink)
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DawnOfaDynasty takes it up the butt!
yeah, what he said ^^^, that's what I do, usually do 3 or more rhymes out of one word sound.
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Cash is the topic, the object, a fatter pocket, Some take the crack and chop it, but those that haven't got it, take away the added profit, it's catastrophic, I take the gat and cock it, and I'll sit back and watch it>>>Rakim<<<

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Old 09-07-2005, 06:36 PM   #10 (permalink)
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TuT. takes it up the butt!
Thanks again...

Thanks again guys for all your help and shit, i will ty some new things with future rhyms, oh and you guys mind adding to my rep? Thanks!
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Old 11-15-2005, 12:29 PM   #11 (permalink)
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yo, maybe u got the chorus and the verse mixed up, cuz theres no way in hell that your verse should be shorter than your chorus.
your chorus is eight bars long and you say it twice. thats a verse section my friend.
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