please critique

kc_spitta · 06-22-2005, 11:30 AM

Im a midwest kid i stay in k.c.-
where i gotta get this one thing like amerie-
becuz i love my baby without her id go crazy-
im on tha grind for her but other *****s is lazy-
i would use to play her when i really didnt care-
but times have changed now i take her wit me er where-
i was a lil ***** didnt know how to treat her-
but now she got me hot man i think i got a fever-
i always try to please her i keep her close by my side-
she do things fo me to she even pimped my ride-
so now we always glide i drive her to tha plaza-
she leave me feelin short of breathe like i got asthma-
if u think im talkin bout a girl then u most be stupid-
i got shot by ben franklin not at all cupid-
so i juss stack my paper an never get played-
never get paid hahaha that joke juss made my day-

let me kno what yall think

Yung Doc · 07-07-2005, 07:33 PM

How do you structure raps?

ominouslilt · 07-08-2005, 12:02 PM

dont think it belongs in this forum but ill def judge it sucked for this topic ou need incredible imaginary rhymes emotion you tried all gangsta like but fialed hahaha work on many things try the dojo an see if ya elevate there

kuine · 07-08-2005, 03:00 PM

try again homes...reminds me of bow wow in his "lil" days!! lol!

Quote:

i always try to please her i keep her close by my side-
she do things fo me to she even pimped my ride-
so now we always glide i drive her to tha plaza-
she leave me feelin short of breathe like i got asthma-

kuine · 07-08-2005, 03:01 PM

try again homes...reminds me of bow wow in his "lil" days!! lol!

Quote:

i always try to please her i keep her close by my side-
she do things fo me to she even pimped my ride-
so now we always glide i drive her to tha plaza-
she leave me feelin short of breathe like i got asthma-

wtf?

kuine · 07-08-2005, 03:02 PM

quit quick!

06-22-2005, 11:30 AM	#1 (permalink)
kc_spitta Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: kansas city kansas Posts: 18	please critique Im a midwest kid i stay in k.c.- where i gotta get this one thing like amerie- becuz i love my baby without her id go crazy- im on tha grind for her but other ***s is lazy- i would use to play her when i really didnt care- but times have changed now i take her wit me er where- i was a lil *** didnt know how to treat her- but now she got me hot man i think i got a fever- i always try to please her i keep her close by my side- she do things fo me to she even pimped my ride- so now we always glide i drive her to tha plaza- she leave me feelin short of breathe like i got asthma- if u think im talkin bout a girl then u most be stupid- i got shot by ben franklin not at all cupid- so i juss stack my paper an never get played- never get paid hahaha that joke juss made my day- let me kno what yall think

07-07-2005, 07:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
Yung Doc Registered User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 1	help How do you structure raps?

07-08-2005, 12:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
ominouslilt mindless cannibal Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: va Posts: 45	dont think it belongs in this forum but ill def judge it sucked for this topic ou need incredible imaginary rhymes emotion you tried all gangsta like but fialed hahaha work on many things try the dojo an see if ya elevate there __________________ As i walk through the valley of the shadow of death i fear no evil FOR I AM THE BADDEST MOTHERFUCKER IN THE VALLEY you wanna step heres a fuckin porch an walk lemme walk a mile in ya shoes you best come lookin cause you aint getitn them back hahahaha

07-08-2005, 03:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
kuine if u want it u can get it Join Date: May 2005 Location: @lanta Posts: 704	quit quick! __________________ Im into dealin now...catch me movin packs from coast to coast// i do it big man...i got more sticky than post it notes!!! Last edited by kuine; 07-08-2005 at 03:02 PM. Reason: mistake

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