Hows this?

Intella-Jent · 02-13-2004, 04:16 AM

I been rappin since forever, but i recently started battling.. why i havnt been? no clue but anyway i battled my friend tonight an this is what i came up wit...

Adam? Unknown?
You should of gon up in the Southern Oregon blazes//
You white as hell dawg so start actin caucasion//
Stop rappin it aint yo thing, you aint from philly//
So stop pretendin, actin like a remake of Milli Vanilli//
Cause fakin aint what the game is ment for, really//
Is you trippin on acid? or chokin on yo flow//
It seems like both considerin you was talkin bout a No-Show//
Me? i midaswell quit you aint worth the time though//
But then again practice makes perfect right? oh wait you wouldnt know//
Anyway dawg yo flows are real cold//
Remindin me of how long winter was here..
Never gettin better even when your old//
Now You'll be stuck on this battle//
Like the bullet that hit 'Syko' in Seattle//
But then whose the faggot rhyming abdomen//
Wit the same words over an over again//
So Adam grab that pad write somethin tight//
Cause as for winning, thats somethin you aint doin tonight.//

Mark It · 02-17-2004, 03:38 AM

this is decent but the rhymes and punches seemed forced, just personal opinion

eyec0n · 02-19-2004, 08:36 PM

how can rhyme seemed forced in text?

02-19-2004, 10:36 PM

Was this a freestyle battle, written battle, or text? What advice to give you depends on which it was.

Intella-Jent · 02-22-2004, 03:44 AM

it was a text battle, i didnt paste his part obviously.

U S E R · 02-22-2004, 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eyec0n

how can rhyme seemed forced in text?

the way its MADE to be read...if you force the reader to say it aloud how YOU would say it...your FORCING them...feel me?

you need to open up the flow so that no matter your accent, the proper way the word is pronounced is the one being rhymed...

pz...

02-13-2004, 04:16 AM	#1 (permalink)
Intella-Jent .:Intellectual:. Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Portland, Or. Posts: 2,027	Hows this? I been rappin since forever, but i recently started battling.. why i havnt been? no clue but anyway i battled my friend tonight an this is what i came up wit... Adam? Unknown? You should of gon up in the Southern Oregon blazes// You white as hell dawg so start actin caucasion// Stop rappin it aint yo thing, you aint from philly// So stop pretendin, actin like a remake of Milli Vanilli// Cause fakin aint what the game is ment for, really// Is you trippin on acid? or chokin on yo flow// It seems like both considerin you was talkin bout a No-Show// Me? i midaswell quit you aint worth the time though// But then again practice makes perfect right? oh wait you wouldnt know// Anyway dawg yo flows are real cold// Remindin me of how long winter was here.. Never gettin better even when your old// Now You'll be stuck on this battle// Like the bullet that hit 'Syko' in Seattle// But then whose the faggot rhyming abdomen// Wit the same words over an over again// So Adam grab that pad write somethin tight// Cause as for winning, thats somethin you aint doin tonight.//

02-17-2004, 03:38 AM	#2 (permalink)
Mark It #1 GunMan In B-Town Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: B-Town, Triple G, Kennedy Ways Posts: 216	this is decent but the rhymes and punches seemed forced, just personal opinion __________________ "I'm So F*ckin Animal like, I live an Animals life, Yeah something close to Hannibals Life, Be Careful I'll bite, You're to frail for the Fight" "Im A Hustler By Nature, But Criminal By Law, Any Charges Brought Against me Choke It Up And Stand Tall" Triple G BMC

02-19-2004, 08:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
eyec0n MILI TANT Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 892	how can rhyme seemed forced in text? __________________ THE WINNER ALL DAY

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02-19-2004, 10:36 PM	#4 (permalink)
Macabre Guest Posts: n/a	Was this a freestyle battle, written battle, or text? What advice to give you depends on which it was.

02-22-2004, 03:44 AM	#5 (permalink)
Intella-Jent .:Intellectual:. Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Portland, Or. Posts: 2,027	it was a text battle, i didnt paste his part obviously.

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