a question for my older sisters

This is a discussion on a question for my older sisters within the Ladies Delight forums, part of the Sand Box category; have any of yall done something that was pretty "shameful" for a girl to do at a young age and ...


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Old 01-29-2006, 09:41 PM   #1 (permalink)
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a question for my older sisters
have any of yall done something that was pretty "shameful" for a girl to do at a young age and then have your family find out about it?


........

such as lose your virginity at 14 to a random ass (yet very good looking pitbull/daddy yankee type) 19 year old cuban guy that you met that day on the beach in miami beach after midnight?


if so, how did you cope?


and lets say, after 7 months, your father still does not really talk to you?


just, a hypothetical situation...
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Old 01-30-2006, 12:44 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 01-30-2006, 02:10 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I did something to that effect only a year older and the guy wasn't random.. but it still wasn't bright and my father was not pleased. You have to rebuild that relationship with your father. Prove to him that you are smarter than that. He also has to have some room to forgive you for making a mistake, that doesn't mean he has to forget that it happened though. My number one suggestion is definitely don't make the same mistake twice because that will more than likely blow any chance you have to earn your fathers trust and respect back at this point.

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Old 01-30-2006, 02:52 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I come from a very conservative family... much of the behavior I engaged in was considered "shameful"... I was sweet, got excellent grades (in the gifted education program), never talked back and all that good stuff... but I've always had my own ideas about how I wanted to run my life that ran counter to my traditional upbringing. I was never verbally definant towards my parents, but I've never been too apologetic about my beliefs, either.

As far as "coping"... I think one of the most important lessons that I've ever learned is that I'm always going to make decisions that some people just don't agree with, but that I have to ultimately be the one to make decisions for myself and my life... and at the age of 14 I had no clue about what the "right" decisions really were. Your [hypothetical "you] parents might be disappointed and upset right now... but they love you and they'll get over it... they're probably just concerned and looking out for what they believe to be your best interest... thats their job.

Parental judgement aside, the behavior that you chose to engagement in doesn't seem to be very responsible or smart on your part and could land you in a really bad situation... when you're young you can't really see past the moment or the potential consequences of your actions... but I would urge you to just take some time to reconsider some of the possible repercussions (stds, potential heartbreak, pregnancy, social stigmatization, etc) and whether or not its worth it to you to gamble your health and/or emotional well being on "random ass" strangers.
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Old 01-30-2006, 04:17 AM   #5 (permalink)
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You know..I've never got parents who have made things worse for their children. I feel like if you truly know what it is to be a parent..you love your children regardless of their fuck ups or what you considered their fuck ups. Yeah, I'm not even a parent yet, but I wouldn't shun my child b/c they did something I didn't necessarily approve of.

Back when my mother acted "normal" (she's a bit of a stretch from that now lol) but I did some things that made her worry about me an be angry with me about..but she always made me see in the end that it was my lesson to learn and what didn't kill me only made me wiser and stronger.

I wish she was still like this..but alas..she's really not. But it's just made me realize more that my life is my life and the mistakes I make are mine to learn from.
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Old 01-30-2006, 01:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
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rofl...

no comment to the threadstarter, dosent sound like a big deal to me
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Old 01-30-2006, 07:29 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by tight-eyes
I come from a very conservative family... much of the behavior I engaged in was considered "shameful"... I was sweet, got excellent grades (in the gifted education program), never talked back and all that good stuff... but I've always had my own ideas about how I wanted to run my life that ran counter to my traditional upbringing. I was never verbally definant towards my parents, but I've never been too apologetic about my beliefs, either.

girl, that is exactly how it is with me. i was always the ideal, perfect child. i spent 10 years at a gifted school where iwas 3 years ahead of myself. im currently a sophmore and im in AP calculus BC and im considering graduate early

and then hung out wit the wrong people and was influenced to do something so messed up. those some people started running their mouth when we got back from miami and its just like damn. parents sent me to boarding school for a month, but then they took me back. my moms cool with me, but my dad is still not really saying much to me. i know he cares bout me still, but damn it just really sucks

iight, just wanted to know if anybody had gone through a similar thing, im just trying to wait it out until my dad talks to me again normally

thanks for the replies
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Old 02-01-2006, 01:42 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by .+Erica Evans+.
girl, that is exactly how it is with me. i was always the ideal, perfect child. i spent 10 years at a gifted school where iwas 3 years ahead of myself. im currently a sophmore and im in AP calculus BC and im considering graduate early

and then hung out wit the wrong people and was influenced to do something so messed up. those some people started running their mouth when we got back from miami and its just like damn. parents sent me to boarding school for a month, but then they took me back. my moms cool with me, but my dad is still not really saying much to me. i know he cares bout me still, but damn it just really sucks

iight, just wanted to know if anybody had gone through a similar thing, im just trying to wait it out until my dad talks to me again normally

thanks for the replies
Don't worry, hun... your dad will come around eventually. You put yourself in a dangerous situation with a stranger and could have got yourself hurt or pregnant or infected with something. He's just disappointed right now... you're a teenager... you made a bad decision... that's to be expected... I'm sure he made some of his own when he was your age.

I think he's handling the situation poorly - ignoring you isn't going to solve anything or to help you learn why what you did was wrong, so that you can avoid situations like that in the future... what you need right now is guidance, and it'd be better if it came from your father rather than your peers who obviously don't have a clue... that's something he needs to realize. Its difficult for a lot of fathers to have conversations with their daughters about sex, aside from the "just don't do it" speech... they sometimes forget what it's like to be young and curious and impressionable... and the thought of their "little girl" having sex... whew lawd! They don't even want to THINK about that! But that's where they mess up... avoiding the situation isn't going to make it go away... who else are you supposed to turn to..?

You made a bad decision... you know it... he knows it... but he may not know that you know it, though. Have you tried talking to him about it..?
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Old 03-01-2006, 10:05 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Old 03-15-2006, 11:50 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Tight, lala, and Mist made excellent points

but WTF was a 19 year old doing messing with a 14 year old?
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Old 03-16-2006, 06:43 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Old 03-16-2006, 11:45 AM   #12 (permalink)
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wait a minute.. you told your parents?
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Old 03-22-2006, 02:31 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Old 04-02-2006, 09:35 AM   #14 (permalink)
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