Porn, Strip Clubs, Phone Sex, and the like...

tight-eyes · 01-05-2006, 05:15 PM

[do you mind if your partner indulges in any of these (this goes for men and women)..? would you rather s/he include you to make you feel more secure..? or is it totally off limits..? do you think it breeds unhealthy sexual interest outside of the relationship - which, although harmless in theory, could lead to potential infidelity..? if you are cool with any of these, would there be limits or restrictions..? meaning, how much would you consider to be too much..? 10 times a week..? 10 times a month..? 10 times a year..? would you take issue with the fact that your s.o. was spending money, time, attention on a wo/man other than you..? why or why not..?]

I know that was a lot of questions... I don't expect you to answer each of them, just wanted to get the wheels churning.

discuss...

MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN · 01-06-2006, 03:57 PM

Porn is fine as long as it doesn't come before me.. If I'm home and readily available to have sex and you go jerk off to porn its going to piss me off every single time. Otherwise its fine. Strip clubs are fine in moderation.. I'd say more than once a month would be excessive.. Mainly because its pricey and usually its direct contact with other women which would bug me if he was going often. I think if it was something he did often that it would be a sexual interest outside the relationship and could lead to infidelity. Every once in a while its a night out with the boys and thats fine because I would expect to be allowed to go to the strip club with my girls every once in a while.

Phone sex.. Nope. Never allowed, never okay.. Just don't do it.

tight-eyes · 01-06-2006, 07:13 PM

that's interesting... why are porn and strip clubs okay, but not phone sex..?

For me, I could care less about porn or phone sex (like calling those 976 lines... but, seriously, who does that shit..? if it's that serious, just call me). But strip clubs I do have a problem with... I guess it's b/c I don't feel threatened by the former two (he doesn't have a shot in hell at actualizing his fantasies w/those women), but at the strip club its WAY more likely and probable... lap dances, "champagne rooms", etc... fantasies are cool - we all have them and I think thats healthy - but it becomes more real and crosses the line for me when there's an actual body there w/in reach... it's all just too tempting and I'd rather my man avoid those kinds of situations, as would I. Maybe every once in a blue moon it'd be cool... but definitley not on a regular basis (not even once every month) and I'd rather not get involved with someone who even wanted to visit a strip club regularly. I know it's all about trust and me being more secure yadda yadda yadda... and how it should all work out in theory, but thats how I feel.

MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN · 01-07-2006, 12:48 AM

I know it sounds weird, but my reasoning does make sense.. I will explain even though the basis you already know.. My boyfriend & I have spent most of our relationiship doing the long distance struggle so most of our conversations are over the phone.. So I guess my feelings towards phone sex stem from that. If he's spending that much time talking to another girl on the phone (regardless of phone sex or not) then it would be hurtful because at this point thats all we've got to go on and even more hurtful if he was calling someone else for phone sex instead of me (as you said)..

See.. not as crazy as it first seemed.. lol Or maybe more so, but I see where you're coming from too. Makes sense.

tight-eyes · 01-07-2006, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN

I know it sounds weird, but my reasoning does make sense.. I will explain even though the basis you already know.. My boyfriend & I have spent most of our relationiship doing the long distance struggle so most of our conversations are over the phone.. So I guess my feelings towards phone sex stem from that. If he's spending that much time talking to another girl on the phone (regardless of phone sex or not) then it would be hurtful because at this point thats all we've got to go on and even more hurtful if he was calling someone else for phone sex instead of me (as you said)..

See.. not as crazy as it first seemed.. lol Or maybe more so, but I see where you're coming from too. Makes sense.

I feel you, now (forgot about your sit-chee-a-shun)... but it makes total sense to me now that I think about it. I bet it's really hard being in a LDR.

new Q for you: you two probably communicate via i-net fairly often, too... would it bother you if he were having cyber sex w/someome else..?

urban_tactics · 01-07-2006, 11:48 AM

phone sex wit another nigga? besides me?

HELLL NO........HELLLL NO

nobody knos what she sounds like climaxin except URB....fuck that shit

strip clubs...NOPE

Porn....well, i watch porn when she aint around, so i guess i dont see nothin wrong wit that...i would assume she want some of this "D-I" if shes watchin porn...cant get mad at that

but she dont watch it anyway......

MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN · 01-07-2006, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tight-eyes

I feel you, now (forgot about your sit-chee-a-shun)... but it makes total sense to me now that I think about it. I bet it's really hard being in a LDR.

new Q for you: you two probably communicate via i-net fairly often, too... would it bother you if he were having cyber sex w/someome else..?

Not as much as on the phone, but we do talk online.. On cyber sex yeah it would bug me as much as the phone sex thing..

tight-eyes · 01-08-2006, 04:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by urban_tactics

phone sex wit another nigga? besides me?

HELLL NO........HELLLL NO

nobody knos what she sounds like climaxin except URB....fuck that shit

strip clubs...NOPE

Porn....well, i watch porn when she aint around, so i guess i dont see nothin wrong wit that...i would assume she want some of this "D-I" if shes watchin porn...cant get mad at that

but she dont watch it anyway......

why not strip clubs..? do you go to strip clubs..?

tight-eyes · 01-08-2006, 04:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN

Not as much as on the phone, but we do talk online.. On cyber sex yeah it would bug me as much as the phone sex thing..

me, too... cyber would bother me even more than phone sex... I think its beause I associate phone sex with calling some cheesey 976 number and talking to an anonymous stranger who's probably on the other end filing her nails or online looking up recipies while she's talking nasty to dude (my cousin was a phone sex operator... she's told me some STORIES lol)... it's not personal. W/cybering, I imagine some chat-room hook-up where the two of them develope an intimate relationship which could potentially lead to something offline. So, again, I think its the potential for an intimate/physical/emotional connection that I would feel uncomfortable with... and the more real the possiblity, the more threatened I'd feel. And, given the circumstances of your relationship, I can totally understand why you feel the way you do.

urban_tactics · 01-08-2006, 05:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tight-eyes

why not strip clubs..? do you go to strip clubs..?

nah i dont hit the female reviews up....i have in the past...but i'm kinda desensitized of it now, so i find myself not hittin em up anymore and not havin the need to hit em up

and i dont like the idea of my girl goin to that shit because...ehhhh......shit just aint nothin i want her doin....i aint strict or nothin, i just draw lines at certain places...lookin and touchin/being touched by naked men (who are most likely gay) just aint gonna happen.......

--Maurkadi-- · 01-09-2006, 07:54 AM

I dont think this would breed an unhealthy sex interest at all... only problem i would
have is catching my girl in a sexual act with another person....

i would be cool if she decided to go to a strip club or have phone sex with another
dude.... i dont wanna monitor everything she does but damn going to a strip club
ten times a week is suspect especially if she throwing out money....

shit like phone sex, i would not want to be included cause that kind of thing seems
boring and rather retarded to me... for the most part she free to do whatever
she want, im cool with it

81sweetness · 01-09-2006, 10:46 AM

phone sex? um..no

strip clubs? not offended by them. he can go, I'll go with him. make him horny, where some stripper style clothes for him so as soon as we leave he'll want to hump me and not those dirty filthy girls on stage.,

porn is the remedy for impotency. let him watch it, you'll never have to worry about him getting a hard on for you...ever.. I watch it too. it's releaxing to get off on a good scene every now and then. turn it up.

samii so sexii · 01-09-2006, 02:49 PM

well as everyone has been saying before, porn and strip clubs are ok...but phone sex is not cool with me.

I think that phone sex is more intimate that porn or strip clubs. In a strip club, there are laws, bouncers watching you...you can't touch them (well, you're not supposed to), in some states, you can't even get lapdances because they know it can lead to prostitution or touching.

Most of the time, the strippers don't want anything to do with the men, so they're TRYING to get men to not engage themselves. Whereas with phone sex, they need you to talk back to them. There are not phone sex laws...you can say whatever, you can climax, you can do whatever...and to most people, talking on the phone is intimate...when you want to get to know someone that you like, you talk on the phone.

Porn is the same as strip clubs too...there is in interactin between the porn stars and your man...there's no engagement. Its very inpersonal...unlike phone sex.

--Maurkadi-- · 01-09-2006, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 81sweetness

phone sex? um..no

strip clubs? not offended by them. he can go, I'll go with him. make him horny, where some stripper style clothes for him so as soon as we leave he'll want to hump me and not those dirty filthy girls on stage.,

if you do that then how in fuck can he leave? lol @ go with him thats a waste
of gas money to do some shit like that just for you to feel insecure and
dress like a stripper...

lmao @ couples going to strip clubs.... thats some retarded ass shit

81sweetness · 01-09-2006, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by --Maurkadi--

if you do that then how in fuck can he leave? lol @ go with him thats a waste
of gas money to do some shit like that just for you to feel insecure and
dress like a stripper...

lmao @ couples going to strip clubs.... thats some retarded ass shit

depends on what you're into. if your girl is a nerd, then that would make you uncomfortable when you took her. I know how to conduct myself and not be a bitch. big difference. just let my man get his hard on so i can do the rest. makes my job easier. I don't beg to go with him, he likes it sometimes because he know he can get this ass when those dirty strippers won't give him any. and yes, i got a nice ass...lol

--Maurkadi-- · 01-10-2006, 06:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 81sweetness

depends on what you're into. if your girl is a nerd, then that would make you uncomfortable when you took her. I know how to conduct myself and not be a bitch. big difference. just let my man get his hard on so i can do the rest. makes my job easier. I don't beg to go with him, he likes it sometimes because he know he can get this ass when those dirty strippers won't give him any. and yes, i got a nice ass...lol

u really dont undertand the point of a man going to a strip club.... its to get
AWAY from the girl that he is with.... if he is already tapping that ass he
got you plain and simple... its to take a BREAK from you and enjoy his time
looking at another womans body other than yours....

dudes dont wanna see the same girls face 24/7... every once in awhile
they wanna see other fine ass girls

lmao man you full shit yo if he ALREADY KNOW he can get the ass then
why in the flying fuck would he need you to dress like a stripper?
you getting the difference between a stripper and a prostitue fucked up
yes some strippers will fuck but with most the shit doesnt go beyond
stripping/private dancing....

on a side note a white girl with ass is very suprising for the fact that its
rare lmao

81sweetness · 01-10-2006, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by --Maurkadi--

u really dont undertand the point of a man going to a strip club.... its to get
AWAY from the girl that he is with.... if he is already tapping that ass he
got you plain and simple... its to take a BREAK from you and enjoy his time
looking at another womans body other than yours....

dudes dont wanna see the same girls face 24/7... every once in awhile
they wanna see other fine ass girls

no, I do understand. I want him to "take a break", he insists sometimes that me and some of my friends go with him and his..so I got him, not the other way around.

Quote:

lmao man you full shit yo if he ALREADY KNOW he can get the ass then
why in the flying fuck would he need you to dress like a stripper?
you getting the difference between a stripper and a prostitue fucked up
yes some strippers will fuck but with most the shit doesnt go beyond
stripping/private dancing....

on a side note a white girl with ass is very suprising for the fact that its
rare lmao

ever hear of "role playing" ...we aren't looking to get married anytime soon, just having fun allowing each other to explore each others fantasies. you should try it...it'll keep the fire in your relationship burning hotter..

and saying strippers don't *uck outside the job is so much bullshit. if you got enough money, they will leave with you, guaranteed.

and the proof is in my pudding. I don't have to lie. THIS white girl has ass and works hard to keep it looking nice and in top shape. no minority chick's bubble butts going to make me run and hide. I can compete

ß£esseÐ · 01-10-2006, 11:36 AM

^battle of the asses... white girl vs. the minority

you know it's funny how dumb you are..

anyways....

My partner watches porn... has quite a porn collection actually.. LOL. There r no strip clubs around here so that I don't gotta worry bout. and he doesn't like the whole bar scene anyways. Would it make me more secure to watch porn with him??... lmao... I have before... but we have our own fun.. and watching porn never really is part of that.

Phone sex... with me.. ok.. with anyone else... not ok.

Do I think it could lead to him being unfaithful... nope. Does it bother me he spends money on porn?... no.. I've even bought him a few dvds in the past.. lol.

01-05-2006, 05:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady! Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: the burbs Posts: 20,385	Porn, Strip Clubs, Phone Sex, and the like... [do you mind if your partner indulges in any of these (this goes for men and women)..? would you rather s/he include you to make you feel more secure..? or is it totally off limits..? do you think it breeds unhealthy sexual interest outside of the relationship - which, although harmless in theory, could lead to potential infidelity..? if you are cool with any of these, would there be limits or restrictions..? meaning, how much would you consider to be too much..? 10 times a week..? 10 times a month..? 10 times a year..? would you take issue with the fact that your s.o. was spending money, time, attention on a wo/man other than you..? why or why not..?] I know that was a lot of questions... I don't expect you to answer each of them, just wanted to get the wheels churning. discuss... Last edited by tight-eyes; 01-05-2006 at 05:17 PM.

01-06-2006, 03:57 PM	#2 (permalink)
MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN Ray of Sunshine Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Washington Posts: 15,534	Porn is fine as long as it doesn't come before me.. If I'm home and readily available to have sex and you go jerk off to porn its going to piss me off every single time. Otherwise its fine. Strip clubs are fine in moderation.. I'd say more than once a month would be excessive.. Mainly because its pricey and usually its direct contact with other women which would bug me if he was going often. I think if it was something he did often that it would be a sexual interest outside the relationship and could lead to infidelity. Every once in a while its a night out with the boys and thats fine because I would expect to be allowed to go to the strip club with my girls every once in a while. Phone sex.. Nope. Never allowed, never okay.. Just don't do it. __________________ "Let your life reflect what comes outta your mouth"

01-06-2006, 07:13 PM	#3 (permalink)
tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady! Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: the burbs Posts: 20,385	that's interesting... why are porn and strip clubs okay, but not phone sex..? For me, I could care less about porn or phone sex (like calling those 976 lines... but, seriously, who does that shit..? if it's that serious, just call me). But strip clubs I do have a problem with... I guess it's b/c I don't feel threatened by the former two (he doesn't have a shot in hell at actualizing his fantasies w/those women), but at the strip club its WAY more likely and probable... lap dances, "champagne rooms", etc... fantasies are cool - we all have them and I think thats healthy - but it becomes more real and crosses the line for me when there's an actual body there w/in reach... it's all just too tempting and I'd rather my man avoid those kinds of situations, as would I. Maybe every once in a blue moon it'd be cool... but definitley not on a regular basis (not even once every month) and I'd rather not get involved with someone who even wanted to visit a strip club regularly. I know it's all about trust and me being more secure yadda yadda yadda... and how it should all work out in theory, but thats how I feel. Last edited by tight-eyes; 01-06-2006 at 07:14 PM.

01-07-2006, 12:48 AM	#4 (permalink)
MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN Ray of Sunshine Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Washington Posts: 15,534	I know it sounds weird, but my reasoning does make sense.. I will explain even though the basis you already know.. My boyfriend & I have spent most of our relationiship doing the long distance struggle so most of our conversations are over the phone.. So I guess my feelings towards phone sex stem from that. If he's spending that much time talking to another girl on the phone (regardless of phone sex or not) then it would be hurtful because at this point thats all we've got to go on and even more hurtful if he was calling someone else for phone sex instead of me (as you said).. See.. not as crazy as it first seemed.. lol Or maybe more so, but I see where you're coming from too. Makes sense. __________________ "Let your life reflect what comes outta your mouth"

01-09-2006, 02:49 PM	#13 (permalink)
samii so sexii ..sunkist siren.. Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: so cali - where the sun sets Posts: 1,156	well as everyone has been saying before, porn and strip clubs are ok...but phone sex is not cool with me. I think that phone sex is more intimate that porn or strip clubs. In a strip club, there are laws, bouncers watching you...you can't touch them (well, you're not supposed to), in some states, you can't even get lapdances because they know it can lead to prostitution or touching. Most of the time, the strippers don't want anything to do with the men, so they're TRYING to get men to not engage themselves. Whereas with phone sex, they need you to talk back to them. There are not phone sex laws...you can say whatever, you can climax, you can do whatever...and to most people, talking on the phone is intimate...when you want to get to know someone that you like, you talk on the phone. Porn is the same as strip clubs too...there is in interactin between the porn stars and your man...there's no engagement. Its very inpersonal...unlike phone sex. __________________ if i were you i wouldn't go to my MYSPACE... there's no war without casualties//end up @ a wake when u fuqkin wit me!

01-09-2006, 07:54 AM	#11 (permalink)
--Maurkadi-- Banned Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 732	I dont think this would breed an unhealthy sex interest at all... only problem i would have is catching my girl in a sexual act with another person.... i would be cool if she decided to go to a strip club or have phone sex with another dude.... i dont wanna monitor everything she does but damn going to a strip club ten times a week is suspect especially if she throwing out money.... shit like phone sex, i would not want to be included cause that kind of thing seems boring and rather retarded to me... for the most part she free to do whatever she want, im cool with it

01-09-2006, 10:46 AM	#12 (permalink)
81sweetness brunette's do it best! Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: howdy-land Posts: 248	phone sex? um..no strip clubs? not offended by them. he can go, I'll go with him. make him horny, where some stripper style clothes for him so as soon as we leave he'll want to hump me and not those dirty filthy girls on stage., porn is the remedy for impotency. let him watch it, you'll never have to worry about him getting a hard on for you...ever.. I watch it too. it's releaxing to get off on a good scene every now and then. turn it up.

01-10-2006, 11:36 AM	#18 (permalink)
ß£esseÐ I used to pray. Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 1,420	^battle of the asses... white girl vs. the minority you know it's funny how dumb you are.. anyways.... My partner watches porn... has quite a porn collection actually.. LOL. There r no strip clubs around here so that I don't gotta worry bout. and he doesn't like the whole bar scene anyways. Would it make me more secure to watch porn with him??... lmao... I have before... but we have our own fun.. and watching porn never really is part of that. Phone sex... with me.. ok.. with anyone else... not ok. Do I think it could lead to him being unfaithful... nope. Does it bother me he spends money on porn?... no.. I've even bought him a few dvds in the past.. lol. __________________ When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt. Last edited by ß£esseÐ; 01-10-2006 at 11:39 AM.