Ladies: would you be offended by...

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Old 01-05-2006, 12:18 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Ladies: would you be offended by...
[a cubic zirconia engagement ring..? If your man were to propose to you and never disclosed that the stone was a c.z., but you happened to find out (perhaps when you were taking out insurance on it)... would you feel misled..? upset..? confront him about it..?

if the case were that he couldn't afford the real deal, would you rather he a) wait to propose until he could afford a real diamond b) propose w/no ring at all and maybe save up later for the real thing c) forgo the ring altogether and spend that money on something else like a nicer wedding, a down payment for a house, investment for the family, etc...?

would you even care..? why or why not..?

fellas: do you think there is anything wrong w/proposing w/a c.z. ring and purposely failing to disclose that it isn't a real diamond..? why or why not..?]
....
Last edited by tight-eyes; 01-05-2006 at 12:19 AM.
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Old 01-05-2006, 12:37 AM   #2 (permalink)
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i think that would be horrible for any guy to do that. even the smallest diamong would be better than C.Z i would think.

now i'm 20 so i may be talking foolishly, i want my wife to have a big diamond. i know i say it now..haha

anyway, yeah i'd never ever ever do that..i'm not cheap at all...i love spending for my girlfriend..sometimes i don't know when to stop...haha
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Old 01-05-2006, 01:09 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I would be pissed... I would rather he wait
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Old 01-05-2006, 01:15 AM   #4 (permalink)
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My ring has a SMALL SMALL diamond. I don't mind at all. I'm not into diamonds to be honest. I'd rather spend the money else where. Even if I got a plain band I'd be fine with it. It's not the ring that's important, it's the man and life I have after :o)

So no, I wouldn't care.
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Old 01-05-2006, 01:55 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Honestly, I could care less about the ring... I know it's different for women... but it's material. It's for the world to know that you're married. The meaning and value of your relationship should not be contained within a piece of •••elry.

With that said, I did buy my wife a 2-carat diamond ring... but only because it was expected and I knew she considered it important... I'm more concerned that she'll be robbed for it than about the supposed symbol that it represents.

And the only reason I'm going to eventually re-purchase my ring is because it'll make her happy... but then I'll probably lose it again.
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Old 01-05-2006, 02:02 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I'd rather have no ring than the c.z., and I'd definitely feel misled if I had to find out on my own that it wasn't a genuine stone. I'm not really that big on gems, myself... so I'd rather him just propose without any ring if he wasn't able to afford a real one.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:26 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tight-eyes
I'd rather have no ring than the c.z., and I'd definitely feel misled if I had to find out on my own that it wasn't a genuine stone. I'm not really that big on gems, myself... so I'd rather him just propose without any ring if he wasn't able to afford a real one.
If you're not "that big on gems" why would it matter if your partner got you a c.z.?
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:41 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I'd feel misled if he tried to pass it off as a diamond.. why lie? Especially with something so symbolic.. why taint it with dishonesty? If we're already at that level in our relationship, he'd know he doesn't need to front on me.. if he can't afford it, then that's it. I'll know we're for real in other ways.. there's no need to devalue and disrespect our relationship like that.
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Old 01-06-2006, 03:33 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Speedy Gunzalez
If you're not "that big on gems" why would it matter if your partner got you a c.z.?
I should have worded that more specifically... I meant that I would rather have no ring than for him to offer the c.z. up, trying to pass it off as a diamond. Given the social norm, it's natural for a woman to assume that the stone is a diamond, unless he tells her otherwise... so it's not the ring/stone I'd be worried about, I'd be concerned that he felt like he couldn't be honest with me about it.

If he couldn't afford the real deal, I'd rather he just proposed w/o it or told me about the ring directly following the proposal (and acceptance, assuming I'd say "yes"... lol)... if he knew me well enough, he would know that I wouldn't be upset or disappointed and that I'd appreciate his honesty above all else.
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Old 01-06-2006, 06:57 AM   #10 (permalink)
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if i cant afford a real one i'd tell her
and if shes the marryin type she'll wait
PATIENTLY
but no C Z thats garbage
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Old 01-06-2006, 08:48 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tight-eyes
[a cubic zirconia engagement ring..? If your man were to propose to you and never disclosed that the stone was a c.z., but you happened to find out (perhaps when you were taking out insurance on it)... would you feel misled..? upset..? confront him about it..?

if the case were that he couldn't afford the real deal, would you rather he a) wait to propose until he could afford a real diamond b) propose w/no ring at all and maybe save up later for the real thing c) forgo the ring altogether and spend that money on something else like a nicer wedding, a down payment for a house, investment for the family, etc...?

would you even care..? why or why not..?

fellas: do you think there is anything wrong w/proposing w/a c.z. ring and purposely failing to disclose that it isn't a real diamond..? why or why not..?]
....
I dont even know what a cubic zirconia is lol..

If a guy buys you a ring, and purposely says its a diamond when it isn't then he is wrong for doing that and probably concious of not being able to provide you with what you want.

If on the other other hand he gets you this ring, because thats all he can afford, or he thinks you will like it,and doesnt make up any stories aboout what it is, then it would not be very nice to make him feel bad for being thoughtfull enough to get it for you.

I thought women would be of the opinion : "its the thought that counts"

Id feel let fown if I proposed to a woman and she stole the moment, by making a big deal out of the ring. that shouldnt be anywhere near as important as the marriage proposal itself
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Old 01-06-2006, 01:35 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Old 01-06-2006, 03:14 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tight-eyes
I should have worded that more specifically... I meant that I would rather have no ring than for him to offer the c.z. up, trying to pass it off as a diamond. Given the social norm, it's natural for a woman to assume that the stone is a diamond, unless he tells her otherwise... so it's not the ring/stone I'd be worried about, I'd be concerned that he felt like he couldn't be honest with me about it.

If he couldn't afford the real deal, I'd rather he just proposed w/o it or told me about the ring directly following the proposal (and acceptance, assuming I'd say "yes"... lol)... if he knew me well enough, he would know that I wouldn't be upset or disappointed and that I'd appreciate his honesty above all else.
Gathered that from what you had previously said.

What if he gave you cubic zirconia and was honest about? If you are not into gems why would it matter if he got you a faux diamond and did NOT try to pass if off as real?
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Old 01-06-2006, 03:42 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Speedy Gunzalez
Gathered that from what you had previously said.

What if he gave you cubic zirconia and was honest about? If you are not into gems why would it matter if he got you a faux diamond and did NOT try to pass if off as real?
then we'd be straight... the premise this hypothetical was based on was him not being honest about it. So I'm not saying that it (the c.z.) would matter if he were honest about it, I'm saying it would matter if he weren't...and even then it wouldn't be an issue with the c.z., I would take issue with the fact that he wasn't straight up about it.
Last edited by tight-eyes; 01-06-2006 at 03:44 PM.
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Old 01-06-2006, 03:46 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I would be upset if he lied about it, but I wouldn't want him to put off popping the question because he can't afford a real diamond. The length or success of the relationship doesn't depend on the value of the ring bought, but on the real.. I would want a diamond eventually I can't lie about that.
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Old 01-07-2006, 06:23 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tight-eyes
then we'd be straight... the premise this hypothetical was based on was him not being honest about it. So I'm not saying that it (the c.z.) would matter if he were honest about it, I'm saying it would matter if he weren't...and even then it wouldn't be an issue with the c.z., I would take issue with the fact that he wasn't straight up about it.
I dig....
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Old 01-08-2006, 03:08 AM   #17 (permalink)
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I'd be like dang, I married a cheaper man than I thought... but seriously... I'd be a little disgruntled about it, diamonds are the gem for marriage cuz "they're forever"... CZ is like $35 loool... may as well get me a ring outta a vending machine... dude shouldn't have to front to his wifey anyway... shoulda been straight after proposin anyway, like, I love you and I couldn't wait until I could get a real diamond, will you wear this for now... or somethin', I duno... and the chick should know what a real diamond looks like, bein' a female and all, CZ isn't even close
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