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Old 08-14-2005, 06:44 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Oh Ladies...
Would you get serious with a guy who doesn't have alot to offer...but you really feel dude...

Like say if he dont have a job or a car or still lives @ home???...

Would things of those nature make yall not wanna commit to this kinda guy even if you really feel him???...
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Old 08-14-2005, 11:49 AM   #2 (permalink)
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It depends on why he's not working, has no car, and is living at home.. Everyone has rough times and if his parents are who he's falls back on in rough times that shows he has a good family, but if he feels like he doesn't really need to get a job... or a car.. or move out of his moms home.. then its gonna be an issue.
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Old 08-14-2005, 05:53 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I see...so what you basically means if he have ambition and motivation and takes the steps to get a job and a car and move out...you'll stick around with him???...
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Old 08-14-2005, 11:19 PM   #4 (permalink)
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At this point in my life, no... maybe when I was younger, but these days I tend to date older men (in their 30s) who should basically have their life on track at this point in the game... if they don't have it together by now, I can't see it working out. If I do hang out with a younger guy, I don't really to look at him as a potential long-term mate, either.
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Old 08-15-2005, 03:11 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tight-eyes
At this point in my life, no... maybe when I was younger, but these days I tend to date older men (in their 30s) who should basically have their life on track at this point in the game... if they don't have it together by now, I can't see it working out. If I do hang out with a younger guy, I don't really to look at him as a potential long-term mate, either.

oh so you a ol' head huh???...

maybe you need to holla @ some of these young dudes...fuck around and get ya groove back like Stella....
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Old 08-15-2005, 02:15 PM   #6 (permalink)
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That's tricky. As for a car, I'm not quick to care if you have a car or not. That could be for numerous reasons. But if a guy has no ambition or goals, I'm just not interested. If he's living at home so he can use his money to go to school, I respect that. But if you're just to lazy to move out, or to afraid...no thank you. Material things are not the most important thing, but what's the point of being in a relationship where one person has to provide everything material, while the other just gets to enjoy the ride?
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Old 08-15-2005, 03:08 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Depends. If he has no car, job, and still lives with his momma and is sittin on his ass everyday not doing anything about it, then he is no good for me. However, if he is up and out everyday going out of his way to find a job, or saving up to buy his own car and really trying to get out of his situation, then he'd have a chance.

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Old 08-15-2005, 11:27 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I hate coming to these threads late, someone always has said what I would have....lol
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Old 08-15-2005, 11:55 PM   #9 (permalink)
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well it all depends on ambition and motivation. My boyfriend may not be the most well off or anything...but he's trying to get his life together. and i mean, im in college, payin for my shit thru loans. so if i dun got it like that, i can't expect anything more from someone else. and i love my man...we strugglin together ri now lol
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Old 08-16-2005, 01:45 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jersey_Emcee
oh so you a ol' head huh???...

maybe you need to holla @ some of these young dudes...fuck around and get ya groove back like Stella....
I'm in my mid-twenties... I don't know if I'd categorize that as an "ol' head"... lol.

And my groove is being taken care of wonderfully, trust me ;-) Now if you want to handle something, come over here and get on these dishes.
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Old 08-16-2005, 04:27 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by tight-eyes
I'm in my mid-twenties... I don't know if I'd categorize that as an "ol' head"... lol.

And my groove is being taken care of wonderfully, trust me ;-) Now if you want to handle something, come over here and get on these dishes.


lol...nah sweetie...i'll leave them thangs to you...im sure you can handle that all by ya lonesome...
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Old 08-16-2005, 09:36 AM   #12 (permalink)
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You women make some good points, but what about helping a man with his ambition/progress instead of just judging him by the fact that He 'should' have had his ish together by now, and because he doesn't then he's not worth ya time.
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Old 08-16-2005, 10:05 AM   #13 (permalink)
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i would be turned off by a female who didn't have her shit together...unless i really got to know babygirl...but off hand i'd be turned off...
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Old 08-16-2005, 05:01 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Brit Boi Gee
You women make some good points, but what about helping a man with his ambition/progress instead of just judging him by the fact that He 'should' have had his ish together by now, and because he doesn't then he's not worth ya time.


^^^interesting point...

what u Ladies think about that???...
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Old 08-17-2005, 06:12 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Brit Boi Gee
what about helping a man with his ambition/progress
what do you mean by "helping"..?
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Old 08-17-2005, 07:46 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tight-eyes
what do you mean by "helping"..?


I would assume being behind him encouraging him, opposed to critisizing and being negitive while he makes those kinds of transitions...
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Old 08-17-2005, 01:58 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jersey_Emcee
I would assume being behind him encouraging him, opposed to critisizing and being negitive while he makes those kinds of transitions...
I'm never negative towards anyone trying to better themselves... but the initial question didn't indicate that the guy was doing that. I'm not putting down or criticizing anyone in that situation, either... but that doesn't mean I have to date them. I'm a very supportive partner... but I'm not going to coddle and enable anyone. I'm a full-time college student, myself... a parent, no less... but I still work, have a car, and manage to maintain my own place... I don't think its unreasonable to prefer someone capable of the same.

But the question was if I'd be turned off from committing to a man who didn't have a lot to offer... some examples cited were: no job, no car, living at home (by the way, I don't consider those things a man 'has to offer')... and my answer remains... I wouldn't be with a grown, able-bodied man under those circumstances, and I make no apologies for it. That's one of the reasons I date w/in the age range that I do.
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Old 08-17-2005, 05:30 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tight-eyes
At this point in my life, no... .
First thing I thought when I read this thread.

It has to do where I am at in my own life, and I guess also the fact that I have been with a guy for so long that does have all his shit together. God forbid something was to ever happen, but just to say it did, I couldn't see myself stepping back to somebody who didn't have everything together.
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