Chaser and chasee

Thrilla-Ali · 12-10-2007, 08:07 PM

Ladies do you call your man or does he call you, i mean, who would you say is in control of the relationship or SHOULD be in control?

RealMS · 12-10-2007, 09:04 PM

hmm...well before it became a long distance relationship back in August he was the one to call me mostly. & then after a big argument we had a few weeks ago(and worked out) its been kind of equivalent now. I call him more, and he still calls me-just slowed it up a bit.

As far as who is in control I'd say we both are...but to a certain extent.

tight-eyes · 12-10-2007, 09:45 PM

I usually don't call that much unless/until a solid relationship has been formed... thats when I tend to gain more interest in communicating with a person on a regular basis and willing to put in more effort to maintaining such.

I tend to expect the other person to put more effort in, in the beginning... to prove his intentions, in a way. Its not because he's a man, though (so don't go there, Iggy!)... its because I'm spoiled.

MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN · 12-11-2007, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tight-eyes

I usually don't call that much unless/until a solid relationship has been formed... thats when I tend to gain more interest in communicating with a person on a regular basis and willing to put in more effort to maintaining such.

I tend to expect the other person to put more effort in, in the beginning... to prove his intentions, in a way. Its not because he's a man, though (so don't go there, Iggy!)... its because I'm spoiled.

Took the words right outta my mouth.

tight-eyes · 12-11-2007, 02:53 PM

great (spoiled) minds thinks alike, Mist... lol.

MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN · 12-11-2007, 08:04 PM

haha, indeed we do. =)

R-Tistic · 12-12-2007, 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tight-eyes

I usually don't call that much unless/until a solid relationship has been formed... thats when I tend to gain more interest in communicating with a person on a regular basis and willing to put in more effort to maintaining such.

I tend to expect the other person to put more effort in, in the beginning... to prove his intentions, in a way. Its not because he's a man, though (so don't go there, Iggy!)... its because I'm spoiled.

That can throw some of us off, especially because there are some females who'll call us just as muh when we are pursuing them. I can say that there has been at least 3-4 females that I met, got their number, and tried to pursue...and when I felt like they would only call me after I called them first, and they only did that half the time, I'd give up real quick. However, when I stopped callin, they would see me in person and act like "why did you stop callin me?"

I just think y'all can help us out a liiiil bit...because dudes like me have too much pride to ever let a female think I'm really chasing them like that...and I don't even want a girl to have the privilege of saying that I was on them tough.

tight-eyes · 12-12-2007, 09:44 PM

I see what you're saying, R-Tistic, and I feel you. I'm that way, too. I guess you could say I am a little on the passive side when it comes to men... I don't typically put in much effort on the front end, unless I find something particularly special in dude that makes me wanna go that extra mile. In those situations, even though I may not call as much, I'll text and send other messages/emails throughout the day to let him know hes on my mind. But, even then, he has to be putting in just as much work, or I end up backing off.

If I'm interested (enough) in a man, though... I will put in the effort.

So, yeah, I think it's safe for you to handle it the way you do... you don't want to play yourself like that. Many times, if the other person isn't getting at you like that (often and consistently), they're "just not that into you". And if they are "that into you" and just not showing it in the way that is evident to you, you can always just talk to them about it or keep it moving to the next person who might be more willing to offer the type of reciprocation/attention you're looking for.

R-Tistic · 12-12-2007, 10:38 PM

Yeah I definitely feel you. With the last female, she only seems to call or text me when I haven't hit her in a few days. I had called her and texted her the night we were both at this party, and I couldn't find her there for shit, and she never hit me back...so I deleted her number two days later, only so I wouldn't even tempt myself to call her back until she called me back...and when she hit me back, she was talkin about "hey sweetie!!!" so I'm like wtf...I guess!

samii so sexii · 12-13-2007, 02:06 AM

hmm...we don't really call each other that much. when he's sleeping i'm @ work and vice versa (i swear this is like the last time i say that in this fricken forum)

but i'd say that we have equal amounts of control in the relationship because we can both cause the other person to bend and we both have our limits. neither of us are doormats, but both of us want to please the other.

tight-eyes · 12-13-2007, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by R-Tistic

Yeah I definitely feel you. With the last female, she only seems to call or text me when I haven't hit her in a few days. I had called her and texted her the night we were both at this party, and I couldn't find her there for shit, and she never hit me back...so I deleted her number two days later, only so I wouldn't even tempt myself to call her back until she called me back...and when she hit me back, she was talkin about "hey sweetie!!!" so I'm like wtf...I guess!

Did she know you were going to be at the party, too? If so, and she made no attempt to see you when she knew you were or would be there, I say you might wanna let that one go... sounds like she's not into you like that.

RemyRed · 12-14-2007, 01:03 AM

Long distance relationship = Death

Good Luck

12-10-2007, 08:07 PM	#1 (permalink)
Thrilla-Ali Dapper Don Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: TDOT Posts: 4,824	Chaser and chasee Ladies do you call your man or does he call you, i mean, who would you say is in control of the relationship or SHOULD be in control? __________________ Real Eyes Realize Real Lies Watching T.V. is like digging through trash

12-10-2007, 09:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady! Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: the burbs Posts: 20,385	I usually don't call that much unless/until a solid relationship has been formed... thats when I tend to gain more interest in communicating with a person on a regular basis and willing to put in more effort to maintaining such. I tend to expect the other person to put more effort in, in the beginning... to prove his intentions, in a way. Its not because he's a man, though (so don't go there, Iggy!)... its because I'm spoiled. Last edited by tight-eyes; 12-10-2007 at 09:48 PM.

12-12-2007, 10:38 PM	#9 (permalink)
R-Tistic Your favorite DJ Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,933	Yeah I definitely feel you. With the last female, she only seems to call or text me when I haven't hit her in a few days. I had called her and texted her the night we were both at this party, and I couldn't find her there for shit, and she never hit me back...so I deleted her number two days later, only so I wouldn't even tempt myself to call her back until she called me back...and when she hit me back, she was talkin about "hey sweetie!!!" so I'm like wtf...I guess! __________________ DubCNN + DJ R-Tistic = U.S.C. Volume One: Universal Sounds of California (Introduced by Murs) http://www.zshare.net/audio/201937037a3ef954/ AVAILABLE ON MIXTAPE TORRENT AND DUBCNN!! www.myspace.com/RTistic

12-13-2007, 02:06 AM	#10 (permalink)
samii so sexii ..sunkist siren.. Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: so cali - where the sun sets Posts: 1,156	hmm...we don't really call each other that much. when he's sleeping i'm @ work and vice versa (i swear this is like the last time i say that in this fricken forum) but i'd say that we have equal amounts of control in the relationship because we can both cause the other person to bend and we both have our limits. neither of us are doormats, but both of us want to please the other. __________________ if i were you i wouldn't go to my MYSPACE... there's no war without casualties//end up @ a wake when u fuqkin wit me!

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12-10-2007, 09:04 PM	#2 (permalink)
RealMS Pro 31 Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA Posts: 4,240	hmm...well before it became a long distance relationship back in August he was the one to call me mostly. & then after a big argument we had a few weeks ago(and worked out) its been kind of equivalent now. I call him more, and he still calls me-just slowed it up a bit. As far as who is in control I'd say we both are...but to a certain extent.

12-11-2007, 02:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady! Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: the burbs Posts: 20,385	great (spoiled) minds thinks alike, Mist... lol.

12-11-2007, 08:04 PM	#6 (permalink)
MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN Ray of Sunshine Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Washington Posts: 15,571	haha, indeed we do. =)

12-12-2007, 09:44 PM	#8 (permalink)
tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady! Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: the burbs Posts: 20,385	I see what you're saying, R-Tistic, and I feel you. I'm that way, too. I guess you could say I am a little on the passive side when it comes to men... I don't typically put in much effort on the front end, unless I find something particularly special in dude that makes me wanna go that extra mile. In those situations, even though I may not call as much, I'll text and send other messages/emails throughout the day to let him know hes on my mind. But, even then, he has to be putting in just as much work, or I end up backing off. If I'm interested (enough) in a man, though... I will put in the effort. So, yeah, I think it's safe for you to handle it the way you do... you don't want to play yourself like that. Many times, if the other person isn't getting at you like that (often and consistently), they're "just not that into you". And if they are "that into you" and just not showing it in the way that is evident to you, you can always just talk to them about it or keep it moving to the next person who might be more willing to offer the type of reciprocation/attention you're looking for.

12-14-2007, 01:03 AM	#12 (permalink)
RemyRed The Rain Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 36	Long distance relationship = Death Good Luck

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