Question for Moms (or anyone who knows) RE: Weight and kids

[sweet_I]

Ok, so y'all may know that I have 2 foster children. One of them is a hoarder. She over uses everything and collects things she doesn't need. Of corse its emotional so my initial response is simply to work on it from that POV. I can handle her picking up trash on the playground and even hiding things from us, but when it comes to food I worry...

She is 7 years old and 110. According to all the charts she should weigh about 80 pounds max. She doesn't see herself as over weight. She wears clothes that allow her stomach to stick out and doesn't understand why Husband can't toss her over his shoulder like he does her 5 year old sister. She has seen pictures of herself and the Doctor was down right nasty to her regarding her "fat" and "jelly belly" and even went as far as pushing on her stomach and calling it a tidal wave (wont be going back to him). I have talked to her about it, tactfully, but she still pigs out and gets very angry when I try to limit her. I feel bad telling her she can't have seconds and it makes it even harder that her mother gives her candy and chocolate at visitation which I found in her room. Also the school is no help with the Gym teacher selling candy and ice cream and soda in the cafeteria. I was giving her lunch but found out she was eating the healthy lunch I packed as well as the school lunch. If I place bowls on the table family style and allow her to help herself she has no control. The other day we had sandwiches and I could see the panic in her face when the chips started running out. I know alot of it has to do with the fact that she didn't have much to eat at home. Santa brought them balogna and ramen noodles for Christmas this year. I'm sure she is also seeking comfort in the food and we are working on other ways but its hard because she doesn't see it as a problem. Usually girls think they are fatter than they are, she thinks shes thinner.

How do I tell her she is fat and hurting herself without distroying her? I am afriad the only way to get through to her is to be blunt and mean, but that didn't even work for the Dr...any suggestions would be really appreciated. Has anyone else experienced something like this?

[-XzErEoUs-]

if you cant help the eating.. try excercise atleast.. kids metabolisms work so fast that if they get out and about running.. the fat usually burns right off

now im not denying that some kids arnt naturally big boned.. but excercise can do a world of difference

make it fun.. introduce them to a new sport or something.. if they come from a broken home.. they might have never really got into sports.. or dance if their girls and dont really like sports.. anything active

food wise.. just try maybe havin a health night once a week or somethin? i know that shit sounds hard.. but maybe like salad or some shit? couldnt hurt

goo luck tho

[sweet_I]

Yeah, I try to cook really healthy. Not just for her but for all of us. I always have.

Oh, we learned salads are not for this family. Don't don't like the healthy salads I am use to eating. They only like Ranch dressing and pour tons of it on. I just can't even watch it. So I don't do salads too much anymore.

Excersis is good. I've been trying to get them interested in something. The youngest wants to dance but the oldest doesn't want to do anything other than tell me how board she is...kids

Thanks for posting, you are right about the excersies. I should definately push that more...as it gets nicer we will be walking more. Husband and I like to walk nature trails so that will be something at least.

[-XzErEoUs-]

with her bigger size, maybe u should try to push 'husband' lol i always laugh to myself when u type that, to get her into basketball.. use her big size to advantage.. n she sounds pretty stubborn, so maybe shed have a good competetive nature

just some ideas

[Sex Cells]

Without scaring her you really should sit down with her and try to explain to her that it's all about her health.
Let her know that she is beautiful but at the same time you want her to be healthy.
I'm 4'11 and barley 110 pounds and most of that is in my hips. My doctor tells me for my size I'm still overwheight and I'm 18.
My son is 9 months old and already pushing 26 pounds.
You should really sit her down and explain everything to her and that you're just trying to help her because you don't want to see her hurt or even worst.
Let her talk to a nutritionist and your family doctor.
Also plan like family walks if you have time or bring her to the park to run around.
Kids should always be active. It speeds up their matabolism.

[-XzErEoUs-]

^^ 4'11? son? can we say ouch?

[sweet_I]

Originally Posted by -XzErEoUs-

with her bigger size, maybe u should try to push 'husband' lol i always laugh to myself when u type that, to get her into basketball.. use her big size to advantage.. n she sounds pretty stubborn, so maybe shed have a good competetive nature

just some ideas

She is stubborn, but lazy and spoiled. It boggles my mind how a kid who cames into foster care is spoiled as badly as she is.

I call him Husband 'cause I...well, I don't know, I don't want to use his name, don't have a reason why tho. Its Mike tho, if it makes you feel better. ;-)

[-XzErEoUs-]

^^ lol nah nah.. i wasnt implyin u should drop his name

i was laughin more at the abscence of the word 'my' before u say husband lol

[Nanijah]

Only thing I can suggest is to give her healthy snacks and healthy dinners. That way if she wants seconds. She can have seconds. Or maybe offer a really healthy fruit desert and perhaps she'll not want seconds so she can have the desert. Grapes are filling too ;o) And good.

Also maybe try to get her out to exercise more. If at all possible get a gym membership and have her join any activities they may have. Get her out and moving around. Maybe to the park a few times a week so she has time to run all over.

The mom giving her junk, hmm. That's a tough one because you are the foster parent and she is the "mom". Telling her to stop with the junk might be tough. What about asking her or telling her about your concern? Is the "mom" over weight herself? I can only imagine, as a mother. If someone told me they had a concern my child was over weight and they were in fact 30lbs over, I'd be concerned and do whatever actions I could.

This is a tough one sweet. I hope you can solve something and figure it out. She should not be 110lbs @ 7yrs old. My son is 7 (although takes after his father and is very lean lol) and he's just over 60lbs. My 5yr old is 42lbs.

[sweet_I]

Originally Posted by -XzErEoUs-

^^ lol nah nah.. i wasnt implyin u should drop his name

i was laughin more at the abscence of the word 'my' before u say husband lol

LOL, yeah, I decided to name him Husband. I have to admit, I stole this from a tv show. Husband watches Gilmore Girls (don't make fun, its a cute show, I just don't have the patience for it anymore) and one of the girls on there calles her boyfriend, Boyfriend. Just one of thoes things.

[sweet_I]

Originally Posted by Nanijah

Only thing I can suggest is to give her healthy snacks and healthy dinners. That way if she wants seconds. She can have seconds. Or maybe offer a really healthy fruit desert and perhaps she'll not want seconds so she can have the desert. Grapes are filling too ;o) And good.

Also maybe try to get her out to exercise more. If at all possible get a gym membership and have her join any activities they may have. Get her out and moving around. Maybe to the park a few times a week so she has time to run all over.

The mom giving her junk, hmm. That's a tough one because you are the foster parent and she is the "mom". Telling her to stop with the junk might be tough. What about asking her or telling her about your concern? Is the "mom" over weight herself? I can only imagine, as a mother. If someone told me they had a concern my child was over weight and they were in fact 30lbs over, I'd be concerned and do whatever actions I could.

This is a tough one sweet. I hope you can solve something and figure it out. She should not be 110lbs @ 7yrs old. My son is 7 (although takes after his father and is very lean lol) and he's just over 60lbs. My 5yr old is 42lbs.

I can't belive I called her 7, how stupid, she is 8, but still...no mom is not overweight as far as I know, neither is dad. From what I understand they have a big problem with anyone telling them anything about "their" kids. They have been told B4 to put her on a diet but they didn't comply. I sometimes wonder if they feed her the candy and let her over eat as a way of rebellion. We find out friday if they will be trying for reunification or termination of parental rights. At least if the TPR I'll have more control...

Yeah, we try to do healthy but my concern is the over doing as well as her getting extras at school. If she saw herself as overweight, it would be so much easier to talk to her about this. When I say, "do you really think you should have that second helping?" she just looks at me and says "yeah". When my mom said that to me I would stop and think and probably not take it. She kind of reminds me of Augustus Galloop (from the origional Willy Wonka).

[Nanijah]

7 or 8, she shouldn't be 110lbs :/

I also don't believe in "diets" per say for children (or anyone really). I rather just have it as a healthier life style. Maybe if she's getting extra at school you can inform the teachers and let them know she has a lunch, or don't send her with a lunch and let her just get it at school? I know the schools here have taken out almost all junk and have a selection of healthier foods. They've also taken all pop out of schools and only offer water, milk, and sometimes juice.

It's really tough when you aren't the finale say. If the parents don't see a problem and you really can't force her to change her eating styles. Then it's just gonna be harder on you.

If they do terminate their rights. Then I say giver and change her eating habits. Also make sure she has alot of exercise.

[sweet_I]

Originally Posted by Nanijah

7 or 8, she shouldn't be 110lbs :/

I also don't believe in "diets" per say for children (or anyone really). I rather just have it as a healthier life style. Maybe if she's getting extra at school you can inform the teachers and let them know she has a lunch, or don't send her with a lunch and let her just get it at school? I know the schools here have taken out almost all junk and have a selection of healthier foods. They've also taken all pop out of schools and only offer water, milk, and sometimes juice.

It's really tough when you aren't the finale say. If the parents don't see a problem and you really can't force her to change her eating styles. Then it's just gonna be harder on you.

If they do terminate their rights. Then I say giver and change her eating habits. Also make sure she has alot of exercise.

Wow, not in this school. This is GA, where if it ain't fried its sugary...They have coke machines, the teachers sell ice cream and candy, then there are students who are always selling candy for some fund raising thing. I met the dietician, she had to be at least 300 pounds. Check out this menu...Nacho chips, corn, rice, peach cobbler...is it no wonder the obesity rate for kids keeps growing. And they don't get enough recess time IMO. I realize they need to fit more learning in, but not at the expence of the kids health...