confused man tryna live positive...holla back ladies

[DarK AngeL ~5th eLe~]

whas good ladies... lemme put u on to the situation that be goin on in my head rite now... im a man tryna live positive... im a risk taker which basically causes me to be in different stages of the spectrum at times... rite now i been with my girl for about 3 years... i try to stay faithful out of respect to her heart... aint a lot of females out there that will accept a dude with potential and help him turn his life around... i mean this girl got a hood kid from brooklyn havin drinks with kareem abdul jabar n shit...

but...

i get bored... i tend to stray and have an eye for the ladies... ive been slipping up a bit here and there but now with my success in the professional setting i have opened a lot of doors for myself... im a cat that loves to network and i have been meeting a lot of females... rite now i am in between 4 women and my girl... the ladies that are on the side have been told that i love my girl and that sex to me is an action and not emotional... my girl doesnt know about the other females but i have had a talk with her and she said that she would be open to an open relationship...

the shit with that is... knowing her, she aint gonna keep it smooth she gonna play it vindictive and ruin what we got...

so ladies... i ask you to lemme know what you think
all opinions are welcome... just explain yourselves so i can get my thoughts together

bottom line is im a man tryna b possitive and i am done(for now) with negativity... lemme know what u think

god bless

[Amel Prodjuser]

seek a psychiatrist...

but for real, I aint no female...maybe I'm not allowed to post my opinion here, but

son if you with someone for 3 years and you still didn't get it, you are missing something

how old are you, 24-27

maybe its time to think about marriage, on the other side, if you have an eye for other ladies and fuck them, first of all thats disrespectfull to your woman, and second you should not waste her time....

fuck love and shit...its about giving and receiving at all aspects of life...

so my answer to you is

1. you are a fuck force, so just leave that girl and fuck as many as you can until you get bored with it and try to do something bigger, like marriage

2. if you truly respect your girl, in any case, try to fix your problem, talk to someone....and marry her....

3. be single for live, do your own thing, but dont get into relationship, because its never going to work, you will loose money, break little hearts and maybe have some kids around that you will never see

[DarK AngeL ~5th eLe~]

im 22 rite now... recently got free and now she (thru her connections) got me a job at Columbia Presbeterian Hospital (NYC)... im pullin in almoset 6 fig and i feel getting married with me making only that much is rediculous...i am young and im a hustla... rite now i am trying to network with as many doctors as i can so i can do the whole medical school thing... im doing a few other things on the side as to where i am pullling in a decent sum... I am not planning on marriage untill i am about 30 or pulling in around a million...

also... as a man... i am scared shitless of commitment... i see being commited as being trapped... marriage is very far out of the question

thanx for the replies keep em coming

[MISSKEYdaQUEEN]

Hmmmmm....how do you network with doctors to get into med school. You gotta get your Bachelor's first if I'm correct. And you don't need 6 figures to get married (WTF??)

Anyway, the grass isn't greener, what ever female you get with you WILL have issues with!! It doesn't matter how cute, sexy, or easy going she seems. At the beginning a new woman can seem so refreshing and new. And she may seem to give you what your girl of 3 yrs doesn't but the cycle continues.

If you love your girl, stick with her...maybe an open relationship is what you guys need, although those relationships are hard if you both don't clearly set the boundaries.

If you know deep inside you will end up cheating, well....just know karma is a bitch. And like Dru Hill says, MEN ALWAYS REGRET

[DarK AngeL ~5th eLe~]

thanx 4 the reply...

in regards to your comments... with the med school thing... i am a year away from my bachelors because my credits were kept while i was away... the networking shit is just how i am... i personally feel that life is about who u know...

in regards to your advice... there is nothing that i would like to change with my girl.... i love her personality, looks, style, sense of humor and the whole 9... but sexually i have never been satisfied with just one woman...i try to stay faithful out of respect for her but i feel as if i am not fully content with being a one woman man...

the other females that i have in my life are there for strictly sexual purposes... i made it clear to each of them that they are not a priority in my life and that i have no emotional attatchment to them what so ever... i told them that im looking for a purely physical thing and they all (for now) accept it... i have been truthful to them from the get and i hope that they realize that when i have no more attraction toward them then we are over...

also in regards to the boundaries point u brought up... i feel that boundaries inevitably restrict actions... i feel that if an open relationship exists with respect to the partner, it can be benefitial to both individuals... my girl, however, has allready stated to me that she will go out of her way to act spiteful towards me which is why i do not see an open relationship as an option...

thanx 4 the advice tho
holla back
god bless

[Blaine Fontaine]

your in a mess what if you get one of em knocked up? i hope your strappin up
are you REALLY coo with an open relationship??...like have you pictured your girl fuckin another dude?
most of the time when men ask for an open relationship is because they wanna fuck on the side and basicaly there girl knows
they never really think bout there woman actually fuckin another dude
and lastly i dunno man you need to fix what you have and forget about them other hoes
im all down for gettin as much pussy as possible but when you got a good girl like that
you need to stick with it
aint to many girls gonna ride that hard with a hood nigga and she been there from jump

[tight-eyes]

Do the both of you a favor and break up. You're too selfish to be in a relationship. By your own admission she's a "good girl"... she deserves better.

[DarK AngeL ~5th eLe~]

thanx for the comments...

shit is deep... my girl is a g too... thats y i fell in love with her in the first place... she play the game like i do and she shares the same views on sex as i do... the only problem is that me and her are both very vindictive people... if one of us fucks with one of our enemies or one of our friends it will turn the relationship into a very unhealthy competition where we are both trying to one up each other...

tight eyes... i feel what u are saying when u say she deserves better... but i treat her better than any man ever has... i cook for her, deck her out, fulfill her sexually, and support her emotionally... the only problem is that i personally have never been monogamous and sex gets boring and i feel that it needs to be ••••ed up... my girl is not into other females so i go elsewhere to fulfill my sexual urges...

in my experience... women focus on emotional attatchment rather than an action (i might be completely wrong)... i feel that if there is no emotion involved then the actions warrent no explanation... i equate sex with going to work... it is something that i do for a purpose... my girl doesnt need to know what i do at work so i feel that my sex life is also not a concern...

if the situation was flipped (if she was doing what i was) i think that i would be cool... we would have money and gifts coming in and it would strengthen our relationship... i feel that love is an emotion and sex is just an action... actions can be done or not done while emotions are uncontrolable

thanx 4 the comments
keep em coming
god bless

[Blaine Fontaine]

you didnt answer my question about gettin another girl knocked up

i dunno homie that shit just doesnt sound healthy at all because quite frankly im not comin at your neck but a nigga like me would be tryina take babygirl from you
ive done it in the past
it was kind of the same scenerio her and dude were together for a few yrs been thru alot
dude couldnt keep his dick in his pants though they had an open relationship but she didnt really want it
i was the only dude she was talkin to on the side and she held back from me alot because she still wanted him 100%
but damn when the flood gates open she was damn near in love with me because i did everythin her man did for her plus i was willin to be faithful
knowin that women are far more emtional this can seriously backfire i think you should let her go
or come to an agreement and still mess with each other but drop the bf/gf label

the next man can come snatch her up from right under your nose homie

[DarK AngeL ~5th eLe~]

i hear u homie... as far as the pregnancy thing... im all for the strap it n wrap it philosophy...

the faithful thing is very hard for a dude like me... im used to three somes and crazy shit along those lines... also i have to much respect for my girl to do some shit to her that i would do to some random female (like nut on her face n kick her out)... u kno what im sayin... ive lived my life (prior 2 my girl) by seein women as ovens with holes in em (ladies please dont kill me im just tryna b as real as possible)... my girl changed that to some aspect

but... i dunno why but having back up hoes (not refering to all females just the ones that let themselves b played) is a matter of a back up plan in case shit go wrong and also a sexual fulfillment

i may b the most confused man on earth or i might b a genius... only god can decide that... but the only reason i try not to cheat is to make my girl as happy as she make me

thnx 4 the replies
holla back
god bless

[tight-eyes]

I feel like you're genuinely conflicted and looking for help, so I'll try to put this as mildly as I possibly can.

Originally Posted by DarK AngeL ~5th eLe~

shit is deep... my girl is a g too... thats y i fell in love with her in the first place... she play the game like i do and she shares the same views on sex as i do... the only problem is that me and her are both very vindictive people... if one of us fucks with one of our enemies or one of our friends it will turn the relationship into a very unhealthy competition where we are both trying to one up each other...

So don't sleep with each other's enemies or friends. If that's all you're worried about, the solution sounds pretty simple. If you two set those boundaried before hand, it shouldn't be an issue. Where is the trust?

However, I suspect that her becoming "vindictive" isn't your only concern... not if she's a "G" and open to the idea of an "open relationship" like you say. I think you either a) don't really like the idea of her actually going out and sleeping with other men; b) have already slept with an enemy or friend of hers; c) would like to be able to sleep with an enemy or friend of hers, but not for her to do it to you. Otherwise, if you don't feel like you're mistreating her or have any intentions of stepping outside the bounds of what you know she would consider acceptable (presuming you haven't already done so), why would you be worried about her seeking revenge on you?

tight eyes... i feel what u are saying when u say she deserves better... but i treat her better than any man ever has... i cook for her, deck her out, fulfill her sexually, and support her emotionally...

If you're lieing and making her think you two are in a monogamous relationship when you really aren't, she deserves better. All that other stuff doesn't mean anything if you can't be trusted to even keep it real about the very nature of the relationship you two are in. She deserves to know that she's already in an open relationship... you're robbing her of the choice to make an informed decision for herself as to whether or not she's cool with the arrangement you have already put her in. You're thinking about yourself right now and how you could potentially be effected once the truth comes to light - being very selfish and unfair.

i feel that if there is no emotion involved then the actions warrent no explanation... i equate sex with going to work... it is something that i do for a purpose... my girl doesnt need to know what i do at work so i feel that my sex life is also not a concern...

If you think its your right to have indiscriminate sex and not have to be accountable to anyone about your actions, why did you even make her your "girlfriend" in this first place? If you two are really as tight as you say, then why can't you be honest with her about what you're doing? Do you feel you have the right to know who else she's doing?

[DarK AngeL ~5th eLe~]

thanx for the reply tight eyes...
makin me feel like im on dr. phil n shit

u basically hit it on the head when u said i dont want her sleeping with other men... i dunno... its like on 1 hand shit can b possitive cuz we can both play some herbs n get shit poppin... on the other... i got a lot of enemies... n she is attracted to that lifestyle... me getting out of that lifestyle was a very huge step for me which took me a long time to realize... if i open it up... ima inevitably get sucked into some shit which i aint tryna b around anymore... she also got out of the same shit n is successful n thats y we click... i dont wanna see her in that shit either

plus... she has constantly said that she wanna only b with me... and i hate people who do shit out of spite

i am honest to her about all aspects of my life except that... honestly it is extremely selfish of me to do this but i dont wanna let go of the benefits (both monetary and emotional) that i have

thnx 4 the replies
holla back
god bless

[Vulgar]

playboi you dont love that girl thats insane...cheatin now and then is bad enough but you mad reckless...and when you truly love somebody sex becomes more then just an act...if you thought of women as "ovens with holes" before babygirl came along you still think that way...you just want best of both worlds...somebody at home to hold you down and hoes on the side...but dont say you love her dawg...men like you fuck women up lol on some real shit..stay single