A battle verse some1 posted feed back plz

[ILLASTYX]

would like feed back beware its long its not mine but it someone who thinks there are good i told him he couldnt servive on the hype postin shit like this take a look

-=(The Game "One Blood Instrumental")=-

Hear the breakdown...
My great-flows coil you like snake-holds... now try to escape-ho
Only bars you close to is "in the bank-holes" when cats is tryna-' "brake-rolls"
I'm interceptin-connections, endangering ya-' protection, tear Griffin's name with bare-hands to send his punches in opposite-directions...
Flow-congestion, know-ya-lessons, Bane gets an assured win in this class... "any-more- questions?
Aye Rufus!!… Defeat is what your bound-to-taste, now don’t touch da-' Title, tha crown-iz-cased
Pound-ya-face, your name is a clowned-disgrace
I’m tellin-’ you this rounds-a-waste, looked for respectable wins but found-no-trace

(This nigga coming on my thread.... LOL! I said I wanted somebody to beat me... Looks like it won't happen... LOL!)

Im'ma laugh at this new guy… graspin-on-fuse-lines, to cause harassment attachin-it-to-who’s-spine?
Of course its Rufus Griffin!… that un-competitive Challenger, your "guard is weak", even with your "Shield" I can easily damage-ya…
Sit on your chest, and choke-your-stamina, as your strokin-' for breathe, with broken hands-an-lungs
Your flows couldn’t cause me "danger", even if they were "labeled hazardous"
So what... you promised-to-post, looking back on ya-' battles hoping I’ll show as often-as-those
Ya-softer-than-most, I’ll prosper-and-boast after I snort ya-' ashes with nozzles-and-hose
We don’t mix like Gospel-and-jokes, so ya-' better off tryna-' find Fossils-of-Ghosts
Wack kids-get-slapped… you was never destined-to-Rap, you faggot feminine-cat
Couldn't drop the "dope s***" if I laced your "Laxatives-with-crack"
Not even I could turn ya-' remains-into-worth, my fist smashes-into-ya-girth, given you deficiencies at-your-birth…
This is ya-' only moment in the sun... right before it crashes-into-the-Earth

(F-U-C-K MAX BARS YOU'RE DONE NOW)

I'm gonna "beat" Rufus so-bad... you can call it "modern-day slavery"
I be like a "Sadaam bomb", cuz-' he don’t have the "artillery to disable-me"
You spit words so "stank", that I'm beginnin-' to call your "vernacular-fecal"
You're at war with a star*, but this time, there's no spectacular-sequel
Beat two cats since you’ve come , but you think it’s more-of-a-winnin-' streak
I’ve seen ya-' timid-text, ya just not "touchin-' much", sorta-like-a-"Midgets-reach"
Credits to my Name, Bane, is ya-' only missin’-link, surround ya-self-' with Indians to "Sun Dance" if you wanna "bring-the-heat"

(GODDD DAMMMN)

(Bane Tha Oracle Dialogue)

"Man Rufus, you asked for that verbal beat down... now I am just going to finish you off using my Divine Knowledge and Philosophy, prepare to take out your dictionary and Thesuarus, this is going to get REAL ugly for you mannnn....."

(FINISH HIM!!!)

Space ships relay digitally depicted images of his rap career
The facts are clear, his verse is bitten like Holyfield’s left ear
Deaf queer must be his hidden agenda, steer clear of Sky High
Wait, did I mention a rap career, my bad… I meant white guy
Stop attempting to be something that you’re not, just “toast it”
Closest you’ll ever come to an MC is http://www.mcspotlight.org's post list
I’d be surprised if he could make it that far cause dudes a bitch
Rufus’s so **** I look “up” at him and all I see is a uterus
Imagine that, 8 bars past and I’m still laughing at this duke’s reputation
A fool for thinking nursery rhymes is substance for rap sensations
You dull, got no skill, got no flow and can’t shine on a mic
Unless of course you were chromed out on dubs and fake ice
To blind the audience and hope your lyrics don’t deafen them
Then again, that’s the only way he could get cats to rep for him
I tried to read your verses, couldn’t, and f***ing felt illiterate
Realized it was rap and brushed it off as a novice’s attempt at it
This is promotion for .com and nothing more than that
Birth control should have ended this battle far before his mom got fat

(Style Switch)

Take The Hot Seat... you'ze-' a fool cuz-' you been waitin-' to stop me
You'd only have the "Key To Success"... if I MADE YOU A COPY!!!
Think I'm Cocky? Nah ya-' verse is lame, all ya-' works is slayed
You only say you got WORDPLAY... cuz all ya-' WORDS is PLAYED!!!
You'ze a gunna dude? Nah get ya-' s*** strait I'mz a stunna fool
The only time you ever "work with the heat" is in Summer School!!!

(GODDD DAMMMNNNN RUN THAT s*** BACK BANE!!!

You'ze a gunna dude? Nah get ya-' s*** strait I'mz a stunna fool
The only time you ever "work with the heat" is in Summer School!!!

(THE FATAL 4 FINISHING MOVE)

The f*** is a Rufus Griffin? Bustin at you, fam who you ridin wit-'?
Skillwise... you just STAY AT MY FEET like a PODIATRIST!
You'ze a bitch in the makin-', I'LL make ya-' neck and lip adjacent
Ya-' lame-and-soft so ya-' Reign (rain)-will-fall like PERCIPITATION!

(B-I-T-C-H)

(Bane Tha Oracle Dialogue)

"Now that we've been properly introduced you can kiss my ass... and know the reason why I am the God Status MC on this forum. Get your posts up ****, I got like 3,000 already, rep-wise... I'm a f***ing monster, everyone know's me. You were unfortunate to meet me on a battle day nigga... BlackMafiya & Regnum Noctus: "Loyalty to the Night" Website coming soon, I got the lay-out, I'm working on the animated Flash cartoon intro. Get at me... BLLLLAAAATTTTT!!!!!"