Job Cipher

[-Alk-]

A mix of the weapon and hitman cipher really....spit about whatever job the previous person leaves for you....first job....Riot Police

Watch me walk into a booth, step out dressed in a riot suit
I got kevlar blockin the bullets those heads are tryin' to shoot
Plus i got my people in them stores those heads are tryin to loot
Now you can't leave when you try on shoes unless you buy em dude
I'm not gonna lie to you, I won't hesitate to billy club you
Then throw you in a van, If you're angry still, then fuck you
Automatic shotgun? I'd love to, then bust two up through
The roof above us, then you look my way, so I can cuff you

next job....Garbage man...

[CaTchW0n]

next job....Garbage man...

yeah i smell like shit and reek of odor, neva thought I'd be this when I get older
but its a job somebody gotta do this, I pick up your shit u throwaway
even when i aint working that nasty smell dont go away
So hoes goes away
back in the 80's 90's trashman
2006 my title is sanitation specialist
its the same shit, just a better way of telling it you smelling shit?
that irrelevant, im just doing my job
It pays the bill, its my skill so life aint hard...

next job: disc jockey

[Memento]

Back in the booth, never stop broadcastin' to youth
Scratchin' my tooth as commercials play, hiding the truth
And my hair is frizzy weird, give it a name - the Power Perm
I'm like Howard Stern. And everybody knows the same song played
every hour on the hour earns a whole lot of dough for days
Leave you in a haze... but I'm like clear channel...
In these air waves, I'm a mere scandal, y'all run in fear of answers
I'mma introduce the beer panel... of judges, no reluctance in what they say
I'm putting over my show as the hardest thing to hit your speakers
With the smartness sting, I bring the artists in for interviews, hittin' targets
It's an open regime, and I'm the mechanic under this promotion machine
Speak about what lotions and creams are best suited for your motions between
If you want music, you better be scoping the scene
Now listen to this song... or call in your request for Jo Dee Messina

next job: Movie Critic

[Nick Names]

I get paid to do what people do on off days
But the funnest shit could get boring if u do it always
And it's easy money, I want to quit this job but im torn
And my cholesterol suffers from butter in pop corn
And most times the job is fun is this i must admit
Like when i saw swordfish and Halle Berry's little tits
And thas coo because normally i wouldn't pay to see that shit
But it all comes back when theres a Ben Affleck flick
And i get to see movies before the masses get to see them
They go by my judgement when pickin a movie that evenin
Gives me power, my word is law, with my decisions i lead them
Superman was coo but Luthor could have been more evil
Waist Deep, 1 star, like a Babyboy sequel...

Next Job: Toll booth Operator

[Profit C]

hello, how may I help you?
excuse I can't hear you what the fuck did I tell you?
don't you listen? hello come out of your shell
hello, hello, okay don't come out it, well
actually let me see, yea please do
excuse I wasn't even talking to you
who's that in the background? they'll get smacked down
oh no they won't I understand that now
laugh clown, it's all shits and giggles
so don't worry if you laugh alittle
*click*

no more no more....nah

Next Job: Street Disciple

holla!

[-Alk-]

They call me a street disciple, but im way too humble
I call myself a teacher of the ways of hustle
I was made to rumble, if it comes down to it
If you ever see me hunt you, grab your gun and use it

next job....president

[The Grimace]

im the first native president, the governments irrevalent
got biochemical elements and im going to japan n sellin it
got tired of the last nation, fucked bush up, yeah i caused the assasination
underground president ill be like a government gotti
agent walkie talkie's speakin fuck illuminati
got subliminal mental brainwaves, washing of membranes
duplicate the county stematically with cell-stems graves
bomb iraq for the hell of it, grab the bravest soldiers neck n medal it
thanks leuitenant im a devil sent, jus applaud me because im the fuckin president

next job :taxi driver

[Nasty North]

Yo i got a deadend job and my life's a fucking disastor
When i was young i used to have dreams of being a rapper
a CEO, a politician, or maybe an actor
kids, It's good to have dreams but you better go after it
Or you'll end up like me, drivin a taxi
got in an accident couldnt even afford surgery
now when people get in the cab all they can do is stare
yo i travel for a livin but man i aint goin nowhere
guys i used to rap wit dont even holler
Im still a festival of rhymes but now im working blue collar
But rhymefest couldn't relate, man that niggas got it made
if only i had a day wit kanye then everything could change
told myself i would never be a fiend made my momma a promise
but, goddam these white lines just look so seductive

Next Job: Male Prostitute

[Memento]

I never had a real job, always been living a lifestyle
Drunk off my ass, on the floor kissing the white tiles
Lost all my cash, so now I deliver the penile
Ladies of all shapes, sizes, colors, and profiles
I'm a lowlife, but...
some call me the main man and others call me the core pipe
I must me layin' it right if I'm knockin on doors twice
I be this insane force like, a motherfuckin sight for sore eyes
When a woman ain't ever seen a man in 30-some fortnights

Next job: American Idol Judge

[AriMayiK]

with every contestant i give distaste and a scowl/
can you guess my name? it's simon cowell//
when they approach the mic, i move a bowel/
and shit on them until they scream for a towel//
that's pretty foul, but that's how rude i am/
my gay british accent flows from my motuh like spam//
no one wants to listen to my ridiculous nonsense/
but what the hell, i clearly have no soul no conscience//
people love to hate me as they watch their TVs/
because i make people break down and weep on their knees//
but excuse me, now i have to return to my day job/
bein a stuck-up, arrogant, and english slob//

next job: talk show host

[-Alk-]

I'ma talk show host, Springer? you guessed it
Fighting got a bit old, some I'm tryin' new methods
I got bitches dances on poles, and midgets runnin around
And I make all the money in the world, I'm livin' up in the clouds
My mission was to look down, on those rednecks in the trailerparks
They didn't know they played the part, or that i'd make it far
makin fun of them when they do what they do
when i get on the mic, i smack more heads than steve losin his cool

School teacher

[Profit C]

listen up class here comes the lesson
something that won't let you live in depression
now focus and don't turn around to talk to a girl
look at me and talk to the world
learning is good, reading is fundamental
where are you going to get to with all those instrumentals?
Not to put down your dreams but you all need to read
and write if you want to go up in the scene

next job: an Italian baker

[Nick Names]

I throw the dough to stack doe, i know its crazy prolly
Baking goodies for my pizones, they pay me, graci(grat-see)
All day is spent next to some stove heat
Breads, pizzas, and pies and can't forget the cannolies
Shop has been in business since the street was thick with trollies
I pay a protection fee evey week direct to Paulie
Ambiance is magnific, softly playing Italian operas
Franki Valli, three tenors, and of course Mr. Sinatra
Most popular, a fixture of the neighborhood
Kids have grown up here, my workers i pay them good
All in all this is my life and i really couldn't love it more
Living the drea...FUCK! SHIT! burned my arm on the oven door

next job: Librarian

[AriMayiK]

how boring is this? puttin books back on a high shelf/
to be honest, i'd rather perform brain surgery on myself//
and there better be no one who through the door/
and asks for my assistance, cuz they'll get a "no"//
i'm a grouchy old librarian, i smell of sap/
i have grey hair and saggy boobs, but somehow i can rap?//
boy this is weird, i haven't felt this young/
since the original version of "Walking in Memphis" was sung//
this whole hip-hop thing is invigorating!/
it makes this horrible job less self-degrading//
but excuse me now, someone can't find a book/
would it hurt them to, before asking me, LOOK?//

Next Job: Police Officer

[-Alk-]

Drop the mic from my last job, pick up a nightstick
Hop in my car lookin' for anyone to fight with
I like violence, you have the right to remain silent
Or I'll cuff you and beat you, and taze you till your eyes split
I'm not joking, I'll bust your locks open, run in your house
I got the right to wake you up with a gun to your mouth
but that's only if i have to, if i find it necessary
I see it as my job, but instead you find it scary
for some reason, i dont get respect when im seen in the streets
forget a cat in a tree, you see a snake in the grass, just leave it to me

next job....IRAQI soldier...get ill someone.

[Da New Kid]

THE IRAQUI SOLDIER DONE TURNED INTO AN IRAQUI REBEL

Im HITTIN' them oil money hungry BITCHES
With a perfect desert storm attackin' SYSTEM
I SPLIT 'EM! once I catch 'em flyin' in the air
Clap 'em like flies... captain beware
Fuckin' shiites, us rebels drop bombs in ya towns
CIA, we cop bombs from around
The WAY, let me SPRAY some a you mufukas in the FACE

next job: GAY MALE PROSTITUTE

[YuNg WiZ]

I'm fuckin other niggas up the ass raw, no lubrication
publications say I'm bad but they can't see the relation
between me and celebs cause most of them gay
at night time they hit me up on my phone to play
give it to em however they want it
even turn around and let them fuck me up my shit
im suckin niggas off, takin nut after nut
I'm a rut, sum1 fucked me so hard I can't strut
but I suck on everything even been tea bagged
sometimes the shit big and bad and I still ain't gagged
I'm the ultimate in male satisfaction when they got an erection
too bad I'm illegal since George Bush won the election

hahaha
I feel dirty for that shit now....fuck u new kid haha

next job: Brain Surgeon

[The Grimace]

we need 33 CC's stat and someone pass the scalpel
like im carvin a blunt but its a bloody brain like someone dropped an anvel
adjust it, head hunt it and put it on mantle, this surgeons got his hands-full
post mortem faggots,maggots infesting lookin like linchens
blood banks and binges like medical vampires with syringes
the patient awaks sqealin like a rodent gettin manifested
sedate the victim, hes not rested, hes restless, time for a morphine injection pain-set.........and i guess ill give some to the patient

next job : scribble jam host

[Linxz]

check

use to bust my ass doing dishes', got tire of being a hotel host/
thatz after buger king stressed me, no sleep so i'm at work toasted/
what made me comfortable, is that my fine shorty kept me intact/
knowing i step'd out for a reason, couldnt relapse just had to relax/
Me&God both knew it was hard, shyt i regret allowed me to bounce back/
ran through temps, warehouses, construction, and whatever else they pass/
shyt held me down, but I was young hanging wit clowns/
fooling with dust pan hoes, Now i'm out a car now/
handsome but broke is fuck, my dick even tire miscarriage my luck/
still i push feet to accelerate, in my case literally foot to pedal, on bicycles/
school got me down, so my lady look in a state of shock, electricfy'n wit a frown/
shyt what can I do now, than that light bulb of a idea lit, aint talk'n pounds/
lil soul searching a few walks through towns, how odd that may sound/
it came out one day, Spitting sick thought like whose fresher than this/
vision brung me to center stage, admit I was never afraid, i'm no M&M/
better think twice before you try to play me like him, matter of fact/
i'm the type to pat ya down, just to see if you strap'd now/
hold up! wait a min just a second, i'll even be ya dj..ha/
cause i'm going against the odds, and it seem like you need help like freeway/
i'll even make sure you get it three ways, fuck war thatz mayday/
i'm what ya call coke before its cut and chop into raw, known to go hard/
what I've been through, jail couldn't hold me, I'm always postal activity/
after this i'm a bubble enough to retire, taking the dj host job/
and put cds out wit you up on it, as a scribble jam mix/
records i'm spining, volume i'm setting, buttons i'm adjusting/
love my new job, so you fuck wit me you die cuzzzzzzin...haha/

next job: camera man of civil war ages....