49. Peepers VS 50. K.I.T. 1-0

TeKneeK · 07-26-2003, 11:24 PM

VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST
VOTES DUE Saturday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST

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60 lines - MAXIMAL

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YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!!

FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 3 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!!

if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!!

GO FOR IT!!!

PeEpErS · 07-28-2003, 12:34 AM

K.I.T. · 07-30-2003, 05:17 PM

#10.

outside the weathers not nice, watch ya step, watch out for the ice//
Now that's how it went down in Illinois life//
They got my Window open in a snow storm at at night//
Mamma, I can't sleep, tell me what Cali is lookin' like//
Cuz this shit I don't like, but the tell me I'll adapt to it//
Just like the others that's going through it//
So it got me fightin for me welfare in this cold hell//
Buyin' a ciggerette from the homie Montell//
He sayin, "Stay, man it'll get better", but all I see is worse//
Askin' Doc's to OD'me cuz I feel like I should go in a hurst//
If I was'nt here I'd probably be token on chronic bowls//
6 more weeks to accomplish my goals in this world that's cold (word that's cold) (word that's cold)//
Before I explode like C-4, Heat I need more//
Somebody needs to bring it to me like Robin Hood did the poor//
Sad to say, no one did, So I headed back to L.A. with my kins//
And now I miss these days I once dispized from within//

PeEpErS · 07-31-2003, 12:20 AM

6. It is 11:32pm.. and you walk across a pier in the night.. the moon is glistening just above the waters in the distance... and you sit at the end of the pier on the edge... with your feet wading in the water.... you sit there... alone.... looking at your feet... then out into the moonlight.... thinking.... of....

who???? - Narrate your thoughts or a story as you sit there.

almost midnight, despite this severe depression
i'v willed my feet to march to where it can lessen
sitting on a dock, alone, too far from home
lately my eyes only bleed red and my mouth moans
depression has brought me to this moment
but now that i'm here, i start to see the bonus
maybe i dont have it so bad, she doesn't hate me
i cheated on my wife and she's been pissed lately
but she still loves me with her passionate heart
i still have a reason to live, now i see this
it took me to the brink of suicide to review my list
change of heart, time to pack up and go back
i should untie this boulder from my ankle's crack
a second chance will come, but now i hear a sound
*crack* goes the docks edge, the ledge break around
in falls the rock as i soon follow towards death
misfotune put me in the grave of the waves' crest
what a shame, just when i saw the light of day
i drowned when my heart still wanted to stay

wack, i know, but i wrote this in 10 mins.....peace

07-31-2003, 11:17 AM

vote is peepers

I felt like his verse was better composed
and I liked the way he came to his senses
and still died I liked that

and kit I couldnt really follow his verse
ddnt really feel the way he explained the
way he felt at that moment
but I did like the way he went back home
within 2 lines

djtactics · 08-02-2003, 01:28 AM

K.I.T.

Your verse wasn't too bad, but it didn't tell much of a story in my opinion... Your rhyme scheme wasn't too simple, but you could have worked harder at making it longer with some sort of climax... Either way, keep writing, nice work.

Peepers

Hmm, its relatively sad you only found ten minutes to work on this! You could have made yours longer too, obviously... but you had a (weird) decent closer... so I'm edging out the vote to you, there is just more of a plot in your verse...
Vote = Peepers

stony · 08-02-2003, 03:54 AM

kit, ya verse was more of a rap. not much of a story, no real imagery with a choppy flow. and what was that whole "ord thats cold word thats cold" thing...cut the street lingo, and go read the top 5 peeps verses, itll help ya out. keep ya head up mang, dont give up...
peepers actually showed some kinda story. flow was better too. woulda been a nice verse if ya put some time and effort into it.

vote peeps...one to both

TeKneeK · 08-02-2003, 01:20 PM

peepers wins

07-26-2003, 11:24 PM	#1 (permalink)
TeKneeK The Heart & Soul of RMC Join Date: May 1999 Location: L.A. Californ: America's Best Posts: 26,119	49. Peepers VS 50. K.I.T. 1-0 VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST VOTES DUE Saturday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST COLLECT YOUR TOPIC OF CHOICE HERE: The RSTL Topics! LINE LIMIT: 4 lines - NO SHOWS 16 lines - MINIMAL 60 lines - MAXIMAL VOTING: No crew votes No payback votes No 2nd Chance Votes YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD.. VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!! FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 3 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!! if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!! GO FOR IT!!!

07-28-2003, 12:34 AM	#2 (permalink)
PeEpErS A Porceline God Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 455	hey __________________ RSTL biatches!

07-30-2003, 05:17 PM	#3 (permalink)
K.I.T. Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: L.A., California Posts: 605	#10. outside the weathers not nice, watch ya step, watch out for the ice// Now that's how it went down in Illinois life// They got my Window open in a snow storm at at night// Mamma, I can't sleep, tell me what Cali is lookin' like// Cuz this shit I don't like, but the tell me I'll adapt to it// Just like the others that's going through it// So it got me fightin for me welfare in this cold hell// Buyin' a ciggerette from the homie Montell// He sayin, "Stay, man it'll get better", but all I see is worse// Askin' Doc's to OD'me cuz I feel like I should go in a hurst// If I was'nt here I'd probably be token on chronic bowls// 6 more weeks to accomplish my goals in this world that's cold (word that's cold) (word that's cold)// Before I explode like C-4, Heat I need more// Somebody needs to bring it to me like Robin Hood did the poor// Sad to say, no one did, So I headed back to L.A. with my kins// And now I miss these days I once dispized from within// Last edited by K.I.T.; 07-30-2003 at 05:28 PM.

07-31-2003, 12:20 AM	#4 (permalink)
PeEpErS A Porceline God Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 455	6. It is 11:32pm.. and you walk across a pier in the night.. the moon is glistening just above the waters in the distance... and you sit at the end of the pier on the edge... with your feet wading in the water.... you sit there... alone.... looking at your feet... then out into the moonlight.... thinking.... of.... who???? - Narrate your thoughts or a story as you sit there. almost midnight, despite this severe depression i'v willed my feet to march to where it can lessen sitting on a dock, alone, too far from home lately my eyes only bleed red and my mouth moans depression has brought me to this moment but now that i'm here, i start to see the bonus maybe i dont have it so bad, she doesn't hate me i cheated on my wife and she's been pissed lately but she still loves me with her passionate heart i still have a reason to live, now i see this it took me to the brink of suicide to review my list change of heart, time to pack up and go back i should untie this boulder from my ankle's crack a second chance will come, but now i hear a sound crack goes the docks edge, the ledge break around in falls the rock as i soon follow towards death misfotune put me in the grave of the waves' crest what a shame, just when i saw the light of day i drowned when my heart still wanted to stay wack, i know, but i wrote this in 10 mins.....peace __________________ RSTL biatches!

08-02-2003, 03:54 AM	#7 (permalink)
stony ladies sit on grampas lap Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: skill beyond the post count... Posts: 511	kit, ya verse was more of a rap. not much of a story, no real imagery with a choppy flow. and what was that whole "ord thats cold word thats cold" thing...cut the street lingo, and go read the top 5 peeps verses, itll help ya out. keep ya head up mang, dont give up... peepers actually showed some kinda story. flow was better too. woulda been a nice verse if ya put some time and effort into it. vote peeps...one to both __________________ "The Stony One" im a fuckin poet, bitch recognize...

07-31-2003, 11:17 AM	#5 (permalink)
Urizen Guest Posts: n/a	vote is peepers I felt like his verse was better composed and I liked the way he came to his senses and still died I liked that and kit I couldnt really follow his verse ddnt really feel the way he explained the way he felt at that moment but I did like the way he went back home within 2 lines

08-02-2003, 01:28 AM	#6 (permalink)
djtactics Registered User Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 62	K.I.T. Your verse wasn't too bad, but it didn't tell much of a story in my opinion... Your rhyme scheme wasn't too simple, but you could have worked harder at making it longer with some sort of climax... Either way, keep writing, nice work. Peepers Hmm, its relatively sad you only found ten minutes to work on this! You could have made yours longer too, obviously... but you had a (weird) decent closer... so I'm edging out the vote to you, there is just more of a plot in your verse... Vote = Peepers

08-02-2003, 01:20 PM	#8 (permalink)
TeKneeK The Heart & Soul of RMC Join Date: May 1999 Location: L.A. Californ: America's Best Posts: 26,119	peepers wins __________________ .......................

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