spittin knowledge (vets please crit)

[nO gOoD!]

I'm spittin knowledge for those who listen to breathe,
when you sift through debris, cause you always sick of emcees,

spittin the same annoying obnoxious, monotonous crap,
buy the time you get through bullshit you've forgotten its rap

kids too busy havin you believe they fakin as thugs
tryna teach eachother that its cool you takin these drugs,

busy bein something they not, living a lie
but is your life less important, that you'd give it to die?

I'd rather flow fluid with words of wisdom, I can do this,
hold my own weight with doves and give it in the music..

cause people can respect it when you give em the truth,
they cant deny it when its something I deliver for youth,

I'm livin as proof, you can use your mind and you can flaunt this,
anything can happen if you try, you can accomplish..

goals and aspirations if your slow and have the patience,
it'll show in half the statements if you fold from accusations

its cold my back is breakin from the weight on my shoulders,
guess I'll be laid to rest before I say that it's over,

take it for what it's worth, nothin fake, no preservatives,
dont get bent outta shape without respect cause I'm deservin it,

I've swallowed pride and stuck out my neck to earn a label,
got with music for the love of it and turned the tables.

I showed y'all it doesn't only take a thug to rap,
I love to scrap, and yo I'll probably rap untill my lungs collapse.

[TonyRome313]

Why are you in here? Your structure is right, you seem to be on beat, your flow was pretty good but you seem to be good enough to work on that, your thoughts were put out there seemingly easy, I think you're pretty close to ready for this shit. Only thing you gotta do is take your ass to the open mics and cypher sessions and work on your flow and delivery. You could've done better lyrically but that comes with age.

[nO gOoD!]

thanks TonyRome313, I appreciate the feedback,

however my flow and delivery are improving, I think, and I have developed a style more favorable towards audio I believe.

so the flow and delivery thing I dont quite understand what you mean but I do appreciate your comments alot.. thanks again.

and for your question, why am I here?

I want to constantly improve.

so again, thanks for your imput/comments

[Hibernation]

no.

[nO gOoD!]

rise up

[TreeSmoke]

stop showing off u Son of a BLEEEp!!! lol j/k man you on point keep doing ya thing

[CompassSaviour]

I remember some of your earlier raps, and wow, this is much better. Good stuff, you got room for improvment 9as we all do) but you don't need us to tell you where to get better, you'll realise it no doubt.