My First Freestyle Please Give Feedback

VeRbAl DiAlEcT · 06-20-2003, 09:45 PM

The only time you pump lead is with mechanical pencils..
And the closest you are to outlining beef is with f*cking animal stencils..
Equipped with cannibal mentals, we lace food for thought on a platter..
Basically, I'm a hard act to follow like the leading corpse of an actor..
Produce gore on the matter, and leave kids grasping for death in a coma..
The second it's over, we'll instruct your spine pointed out like lessons in Yoga..
Our weapon aroma is the only sense of a quarrel when punching..
Tired of kids speaking their gangster, only cos they've shot squirrels or something..
I'm thorough in nothing, merely focused as hell like a demon's Ritalin..
f*ck, Saber constantly pushes wigs back like intimate senior citizens..
I've seen your brittle when, all you can muster is Star Wars punchlines..
But our swords dub minds, like versatile porn you're only hardcore sometimes..
It's like Disney Land Special Olympics when we hit you fairies and cripple teams..
We simply possess a way with words like dictionaries on triple beams..
demons producin plauges to scorn..the lyrical prophets 'rage is born'..
the trigger of my gauge is worn..im *rippin books* until the 'pages torn'..
pimp smacks will slap ya crew..like *car chases* we'll 'past ya threw'..
kids laugh at you..like *gays ass raping* we known to tear 'fags in two'..
ya weapons are finished..*grindin parts* to turn ya 'intestines to spinach'..
known fa blessin these gimmicks..corpse mutilated fa 'testin the chemics'..
gather anger when boxin..there aint a gun that 'saber aint c*ck in'...
we will let your *flesh melt* when we place kids in 'chambers of toxens'..
we throwin heavy *shots of syphillis* that will 'disassemble ya limbs'..
I turn *emcee's to clay* and make sculptures that 'resemble ya freinds'..
we used to miss the times..when we placed both 'fist in spines'..
now we diss ya rhymes..like *sperm doners* we takin 'kids in lines'..
corruptin unique..yall *vegetarians* but ya still can 'duck on this meat'..
like *homeless bums* my glock 9 leaves peasents 'stuck on the street'..
like *clumsy nurses* we drop lots..realest killers livin 'top notch'..
rhyme punch *threw ya brain* leave plasma in lines for 'hop skotch'..

Gimme-A-Name · 06-21-2003, 10:11 AM

ay lol fa ya first freestyle this was aight. I liked all the images ya gave, kida sick but.. liked em anyway. Heh you got something wit mutulation. I liked every thing ya head ya flow stayed tagether pretty much the whole time. But from the very first line, that was kinda off. The whole thing was full of similies and meta's so keep dat, works good fa dat battle aspect. Nice drop, but do me a favour, dont make me read so much next time lol. return the love if ya can, peace kid

The Introduction

VeRbAl DiAlEcT · 06-21-2003, 11:52 AM

thanx uppin for more feedback

VeRbAl DiAlEcT · 06-22-2003, 11:01 AM

more feedback ppl

-Cao- · 06-22-2003, 01:10 PM

im not likenin it, get more shape dogg

06-20-2003, 09:45 PM	#1 (permalink)
VeRbAl DiAlEcT ~ThE iLLeSt~ Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 53	Devils Tongue-freestyle Rate 1-10 The only time you pump lead is with mechanical pencils.. And the closest you are to outlining beef is with fcking animal stencils.. Equipped with cannibal mentals, we lace food for thought on a platter.. Basically, I'm a hard act to follow like the leading corpse of an actor.. Produce gore on the matter, and leave kids grasping for death in a coma.. The second it's over, we'll instruct your spine pointed out like lessons in Yoga.. Our weapon aroma is the only sense of a quarrel when punching.. Tired of kids speaking their gangster, only cos they've shot squirrels or something.. I'm thorough in nothing, merely focused as hell like a demon's Ritalin.. fck, Saber constantly pushes wigs back like intimate senior citizens.. I've seen your brittle when, all you can muster is Star Wars punchlines.. But our swords dub minds, like versatile porn you're only hardcore sometimes.. It's like Disney Land Special Olympics when we hit you fairies and cripple teams.. We simply possess a way with words like dictionaries on triple beams.. demons producin plauges to scorn..the lyrical prophets 'rage is born'.. the trigger of my gauge is worn..im rippin books until the 'pages torn'.. pimp smacks will slap ya crew..like car chases we'll 'past ya threw'.. kids laugh at you..like gays ass raping we known to tear 'fags in two'.. ya weapons are finished..grindin parts to turn ya 'intestines to spinach'.. known fa blessin these gimmicks..corpse mutilated fa 'testin the chemics'.. gather anger when boxin..there aint a gun that 'saber aint cck in'... we will let your flesh melt* when we place kids in 'chambers of toxens'.. we throwin heavy shots of syphillis that will 'disassemble ya limbs'.. I turn emcee's to clay and make sculptures that 'resemble ya freinds'.. we used to miss the times..when we placed both 'fist in spines'.. now we diss ya rhymes..like sperm doners we takin 'kids in lines'.. corruptin unique..yall vegetarians but ya still can 'duck on this meat'.. like homeless bums my glock 9 leaves peasents 'stuck on the street'.. like clumsy nurses we drop lots..realest killers livin 'top notch'.. rhyme punch threw ya brain leave plasma in lines for 'hop skotch'.. Last edited by VeRbAl DiAlEcT; 06-22-2003 at 11:00 AM.

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06-21-2003, 10:11 AM	#2 (permalink)
Gimme-A-Name Im black.. ur not....and? Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 486	ay lol fa ya first freestyle this was aight. I liked all the images ya gave, kida sick but.. liked em anyway. Heh you got something wit mutulation. I liked every thing ya head ya flow stayed tagether pretty much the whole time. But from the very first line, that was kinda off. The whole thing was full of similies and meta's so keep dat, works good fa dat battle aspect. Nice drop, but do me a favour, dont make me read so much next time lol. return the love if ya can, peace kid The Introduction

06-21-2003, 11:52 AM	#3 (permalink)
VeRbAl DiAlEcT ~ThE iLLeSt~ Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 53	thanx uppin for more feedback

06-22-2003, 11:01 AM	#4 (permalink)
VeRbAl DiAlEcT ~ThE iLLeSt~ Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 53	more feedback ppl

06-22-2003, 01:10 PM	#5 (permalink)
-Cao- A Tru Visionary Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: So.California Posts: 261	im not likenin it, get more shape dogg

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