my 1st song rate 1-10 for this newbie

This is a discussion on my 1st song rate 1-10 for this newbie within the Lyrical DOJO forums, part of the Written Emcee Area - Text Only category; The true king is back in fact I’m spit in at all you cats that say I'm whack. Where all ...


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Old 06-08-2003, 12:21 PM   #1 (permalink)
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lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!
my 1st song rate 1-10 for this newbie

The true king is back in fact I’m spit in at all you cats
that say I'm whack. Where all my fake gangsters at?...
You ready for this….

You say my shit sound stupid when you ain’t got no flows.
Mine just blows your mind, body and soul.
Leave your rhymes to die, rot and get old.
Who you to spit at my throne?
You an over grown child, try in to get wild try in to cop my style.
While I just gave u an influence but u just a nuisance.
I'll drop my two cents. Practice abstinence bitch.

You need some acknowledgment you ain’t me, big, nas or 50.
You think your witty now cause u got the guns the size of little bow wow.
I’ll be like child not now I’ll kill you with the ether; they call me grim like the reaper.
I’m the street sweeper I’ll clean up your act matter fact I’ll have u and your whole crew get clapped.

Now you dead left nameless. I’m the one born to be famous.
I’m the truest newest rapper in the game nothing destined but fame.
It’s insane I started from spit in a little something but now spit shit that got everyone bump in and grind in. u be find in my rhymes in platinum gold u be listing to them when your grand kids get old.

Behold the king came back.
Had you and your whole crew get gunned up and clapped quick.
Like gay-z and cockafella got gunned up and clapped quick
don’t mess with me or Nas or whole label will get gunned up and clapped quick.
Dam you’re my dick stop rip in off my shit.
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Old 06-09-2003, 01:15 AM   #2 (permalink)
Text is Far 2 Easy...
 
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You need practice kiddo...
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Old 06-09-2003, 01:20 AM   #3 (permalink)
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krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!
5/10

Not bad for a beginer..

Your flow was very good..but aside from flow i wasent really feelin much else...most of your content was dull an borin..ive read similar writtens like that a hundred times or more
Work on:
Your content
Your creativity
Originality
complexity
vocabulary
Metaphors

you need to step it up usin all of these elements to make your lyrics better and more intresting to read or hear

Goodluck
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