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a bit too cheezy, really i thinbk ur consentrating on ur complexity far too much, u need to have a balanced blend of complexity, content, flow and wordplay. so because ur consentrating on makin it sound complex u r foecing the rhymes, basicaly putting in long words that actually have no relevence to the topic just because they rhyme. so think about the point u want to put across in each line before u write it, it will make it alot more meaningful, and try and actually write about a specific topic, if u have trouble thinkin of something to write about pick an RSTL topic and do that, but make sure u keep on point wit the content or the whole verse won't be felt. make sure ur lines arent too long or too short, if theyre too long the verse becaomes boring to read and the flow will be all messed up, if theyre too short it will become too basic and will basically sound shit, and make sure u try and keep every line the same length.make sure u include multies( multie syllable rhymes, for example: criticize and fit his size, that is a multie) because multies make the whole verse seem much more complex and if u get them right then it will flow beuatifully like a tropical river. wordplay, when ur about to write a word down, try and think of a better way to put it like if u were goin to write say..'eat' for example think of a better way to put it like for instance 'devour' or 'engulf' it will again make the whole verse more complex.i donmt know if that helped but i hope so cos otherwise ive just wasted a loada time. but try doin all that that ive sed and u'll be a 'poetiquette' or 'vern acular' in no time. pz
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