Battle verse(gimme a crit quick)

KIDD KASH · 06-03-2003, 02:33 PM

Your an ill emcee? this stupid kid must be kiddin me
if ya were a geinocologist ya still wouldnt have delivery
Take a lasor gun and scorch out ya optics
Wouldnt cop ya shit if i was a bank robery hostage
If you were onyx with a machette still wouldnt rip shit
Your rap is like the sci fi channel its all fuckin fiction
Ill hit ya make ya head spin in circles like the olympic disciss
Your earnin a ticket to see the surgeon division
Im breaking you open like i was doing hacking decription
even with six hundred stitches you still couldnnt close the incision
Ima split you in the middle like an intermission
And ima get physical like a physician
carry enough biochemical equipment to posion half the universe
and all your rhymes stink like a motherfucking juniper
My first five bars murdered you thats all it took
If you were a loose fish still wouldnt be off the hook

Kano · 06-03-2003, 08:31 PM

Dang kid, that was hot. 9.7/10.

$nake · 06-05-2003, 06:36 PM

1.1 shit fuckin sucked damn biter !!

Makadoshious · 06-05-2003, 06:43 PM

some of the punches were kind of corny, some decent lines towards the end, the rest just kind of seemed....... cliche.

lyrical bully · 06-05-2003, 09:00 PM

thats kinda gay dude work on it though don't give up man

Kano · 06-05-2003, 10:15 PM

Yeah some of the punches were corny but I still say that was hot. If that was off the top of your head that was great.

krysto · 06-06-2003, 07:36 PM

I'll give u credit it was a good attempt

Real good attempt a punch lines an flipped concepts..but its not the right formula..all u need to do is start battlin an u'll figureout what needs to be done

but overall it was real nice...7/10

VerbHertz · 06-06-2003, 09:25 PM

"and all your rhymes stink like a motherfucking juniper"... roflmao
aren't junipers like... good smelling flowers? or do they smell like buttcrack? ion't know... anyways...

some nice lines, some played, some coo... some lines were stretched tho... either that or some were short. heh... decent drop tho.

06-03-2003, 02:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
KIDD KASH Bury me in Gangsta City Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 2,108	Battle verse(gimme a crit quick) Your an ill emcee? this stupid kid must be kiddin me if ya were a geinocologist ya still wouldnt have delivery Take a lasor gun and scorch out ya optics Wouldnt cop ya shit if i was a bank robery hostage If you were onyx with a machette still wouldnt rip shit Your rap is like the sci fi channel its all fuckin fiction Ill hit ya make ya head spin in circles like the olympic disciss Your earnin a ticket to see the surgeon division Im breaking you open like i was doing hacking decription even with six hundred stitches you still couldnnt close the incision Ima split you in the middle like an intermission And ima get physical like a physician carry enough biochemical equipment to posion half the universe and all your rhymes stink like a motherfucking juniper My first five bars murdered you thats all it took If you were a loose fish still wouldnt be off the hook

06-05-2003, 06:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
$nake I never miss Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 139	1.1 shit fuckin sucked damn biter !! __________________ Poisoned

06-05-2003, 09:00 PM	#5 (permalink)
lyrical bully Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: spokane washington Posts: 91	thats kinda gay dude work on it though don't give up man __________________ Sayin white boyz can't rap is not only a stereotype, it is wrong. Who's here to prove it wrong? Me

06-06-2003, 07:36 PM	#7 (permalink)
krysto Retired Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: columbus Posts: 18,258	I'll give u credit it was a good attempt Real good attempt a punch lines an flipped concepts..but its not the right formula..all u need to do is start battlin an u'll figureout what needs to be done but overall it was real nice...7/10 __________________ B.ETTER I.N G.ENERALMWOrangecounty Diss(Free) LouAtBizz [7:26 PM]: Are you from that rap site? Im Chris Robba [7:26 PM]: yessir LouAtBizz [7:26 PM]: Oh LouAtBizz [7:26 PM]: who are you Im Chris Robba [7:26 PM]: <-----

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06-03-2003, 08:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
Kano Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 221	Dang kid, that was hot. 9.7/10.

06-05-2003, 06:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
Makadoshious Registered User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Does it get any better? Posts: 7,028	some of the punches were kind of corny, some decent lines towards the end, the rest just kind of seemed....... cliche.

06-05-2003, 10:15 PM	#6 (permalink)
Kano Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 221	Yeah some of the punches were corny but I still say that was hot. If that was off the top of your head that was great.

06-06-2003, 09:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
VerbHertz Lexicon Join Date: May 2003 Location: SCSU, MN Posts: 6,759	"and all your rhymes stink like a motherfucking juniper"... roflmao aren't junipers like... good smelling flowers? or do they smell like buttcrack? ion't know... anyways... some nice lines, some played, some coo... some lines were stretched tho... either that or some were short. heh... decent drop tho.

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