rate 1-10 4 wat i have so far

This is a discussion on rate 1-10 4 wat i have so far within the Lyrical DOJO forums, part of the Written Emcee Area - Text Only category; Fuck your mentality/ you must of lost your sense of reality/ if you have audacity to battle me/ your bars ...


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Lyrical DOJO RM Vets experienced in HIP HOP to teach New emcees how to write effectively...

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Old 05-29-2003, 03:05 PM   #1 (permalink)
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lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!lewdDog will do you doggie style!
rate 1-10 4 wat i have so far

Fuck your mentality/
you must of lost your sense of reality/
if you have audacity to battle me/
your bars don’t even rattle me/
your mind don’t have the capacity to stand my havocry/
Were you think we be/in the fuck-in matrix/
you can’t dodge my bars like they’s was bullets/
I'm come-in at u to the fullest/
ill blow u out like 50 have-in u wonder-in where half ya skull is/
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I define myself as unusual because I do what I think is right.

I feel that there's a beautiful inspiration of wisdom waiting to evolve itself into it's full natural state in which it deserves to flourish but constantly ignoring the right decision to make too to continue this world of routine of struggle with my self only to believe in self worth



Some things are better unsaid; so I write them instead

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Old 06-07-2003, 06:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
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krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!krysto will do you doggie style!
4/10

your missing many elements here
Good flow..yourz was a bit choppy..needs to run smooth
metaphors..u had some attempts..but need more
multies..multiple ryme words in one line
creativity..try to be original
complexity..try to make the reader think a little
punch lines..[dissis toward opponent with double meaning] try to make the reader say..man..that was ill

just to name a few...next time try to cover all of these elements
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