S.E. ~ Round 3 ~ 5. Pent uP -vs- 1. VernAcular

This is a discussion on S.E. ~ Round 3 ~ 5. Pent uP -vs- 1. VernAcular within the RSTL Grudge Matches and Tournaments forums, part of the RapMusic's Storytelling League category; RSTL RULES AND REGULATIONS RULES AND REGULATIONS - THERE'S SOME NEW SHIT SO CLICK AND READ The Standard League Rules ...


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Old 02-07-2007, 03:22 AM   #1 (permalink)
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S.E. ~ Round 3 ~ 5. Pent uP -vs- 1. VernAcular



RSTL RULES AND REGULATIONS

RULES AND REGULATIONS - THERE'S SOME NEW SHIT SO CLICK AND READ


The Standard League Rules will still be Enforced


[list][*]Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required.
[*]Verses must incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.
[*]Anyone who does not post at least 4 rap lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.
[*]During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.
[*]Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a “show” but will not result in a match. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent posts between 16-64, you will lose the match but you will remain in the league. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent does not show, you will “Win by no-show”.[/list]
Voting:[list][*]If you do not show you can’t vote in any matches. .
[*]No bias votes! If you have a personal investment in wanting someone to lose, whether because that member voted against you once, or you just don’t like that person, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match. If have a personal investment in wanting someone to win, whether because they’re crew member, or because you want to face that person in the next week’s brackets, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match.
[*]”Bias” must be confirmed by a Moderator.
[*]3-ways are inevitable. In order to provide a tie-breaker in a 3-way, you are now required to indicate in what order the contestants finished (1st, 2nd, 3rd).
anyone who does not show or vote is suspended one week and must sign-in again to be inserted the following week.[/list]


Topics: RSTL Winter Master's Tournament Topics and Brackets



From now on if you don't vote in the tournament and win your match, you will be deducted a vote from your next match for every vote didn't give the previous week. If you show late and your partner allows the extension as long as it’s less than a day late, it can count, but you will be deducted 2 votes for showing late regardless.

These rules will be put in effect starting now and won’t be modified again. I’m not bending or breaking anymore rules for anybody.



Must READ: You must pick one of each topic to give your opponent some protection from choices and also so there isn't several verses written on the same topic that everyone has picked to be used.

So pick one of the Title and Phrases, one of the Quotes and one of the Pics for your opponent.

Thursday is the deadline for choosing topics or your opponent will get to pick their own topic. Topical choices must be posted in match threads by deadline.


All other rules that are applied in the league will also be enforced for regulating the tournament. If you're not familiar with the rules of the RSTL, please read them.


The only difference will be that in this tournament, your opponent will get to pick your topics for you. Topics must be picked and posted within the match thread within 1 day. If it's not posted, the opponent of the person that didn't pick a topic in time will get to choose his/her own topic. You must choose one of each kind of topic for some variety.


So... topics will be up Wednesday 12am PST every week and topical choices are due Thursday 12am PST and verses are due Monday 12am PST, 3am EST, 8am Greenwich with votes due Wednesday 12 am PST, 3am EST, 8am Greenwich

Also, there will be no recycling allowed. Nothing you've ever posted anywhere online will be allowed. The mods will be checking verses for authenticity with online search engines.

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Last edited by DiC GeTs GuLLy; 02-07-2007 at 03:34 AM.
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Old 02-08-2007, 11:34 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!
Hostile Serenity

Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
Martin Luther King Jr.


The Last Picture.....sorry it wouldn't allow me to post the link
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Old 02-08-2007, 06:58 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hostile serenity

The good fortunes of today are the sad pasts of tommorrow
-bob marley (recheck it I wrote it from memory)

And the same picture
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Old 02-10-2007, 10:43 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Divorcing the Timeline

Since the days of Jesus people felt an imperative conflict
Where they're scared to live constricted to solitude
But they care if its a bitch that they're paired up with to live
Well, im a heretic convinced that marriage is a trick

Feesable...
And it probably started with Jesus too.....
Because he's a tool that people knew and never put the easel to
Instead they drew lines on the ground to an omens pedistal
With no incentive to exploit that he was homosexual...
His whole intent was to meet his dead lover in the afterlife
Struggling to maximize God as the supreme being....
OF your master, CHRIST...
He didn't intend on sharing with the whole earth then...
he was just trying to convey the philosophy of soul searching
But surely its different, when words are misprinted
And language is translated by an earth that's indigent
Somewhere though, they mentioned the mandate on marriages
But never translated it as a way to salvate your heritage

The bible was spread and soon peoples minds would be led
To believe that survival is met with a psyche you let.....
a preacher into with eyefulls of dread and the TITLE OF WED
This was meant to help, but started a cycle instead
Where kings and queens had tricked their own kids
Into believing soulmates were chosen through fixed marriages
But it was a salvation for their kingdom and pride
Which seems dumb inside when all things come to die
And they're ignoring a passion to stay forward in fashion
This continued way into the puritans who horded the masses
with radical rules, which led to rebeliously bad attitudes
Where marriage was one of the factors of fuel
when a match lit the fuse putting religious constraint in dead stop
Pitchforks breaking the ball and chain that wed-locked
To get rid of the headaches that were stationed in with force
By parents, and finding a salvation in divorce

Now creation is troubled, with the way fun is coming
And everyone is looking for salvation in something
Patience is nothing because virtue took a break in its running
So the race is to continually make ends with money
No one fixes marriages anymore, without a scam involved
Because you can get half now, that's how the plan evolved
Divorce used to be like murder, astonishing shit
Now divorce is simple and more common than it
People are worried about stupid shit like pairing up some retards
While people are scamming and marrying for greencards
Clarity, it seems hard, but clearly, so is searching for a mate
Yearning for our fate has ended up a certainty we hate
Forgetting that we make our own, just schmucks with lost intent
Who find their mates as a means to cut the cost of rent,
Half the taxes, go halves on butter, floss and bread
A means to make life cheaper and fuck for awesome head

we pull ties to livin....
When a full life is given
It so sickening I want to anull my religion
'Cause Jesus had something invisioned for soulmates under a system
When judgement day comes you'll learn that none of us listened



Human salvation lies in the hands of the creativly maladjusted
-martin luther king jr
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Old 02-11-2007, 08:39 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hostile Serenity




well since it's I...that am a "GEMINI"
most would say i have a twisted mind
im two face im sure....
in lamens terms that means there's different sides
to every story, the plain truth could be more of an instant lie
a cover up....a cliche....or just maybe a big suprise
but it's the kind of information which i hide that makes me dangerous
see it's the Hostile Serenity that creates a crazy mix
so i remain calm, but hatred sits inside of me and stays intense
let me explain a bit.....
for example i'll use todays events

wide awake and tense....
well...inside, cause my face never showed it
and pressure was holding me hostage, plus it never let go it
developed a motive, more like an alter ego i guess
an evil compressed within me that released with each breath
i couldn't sleep i was stressed, and felt like i needed to rest
i saw my preacher, confessed....he babbled how people were blessed
so i proceeded along heated like a demon posessed
on my way to work, but first got something to eat and digest
i log in, then fall into my little seat at my desk
open an e-mail, it reads...."there's a few things that we should address"
i breathe for a sec....
then slowly walk straight to the bosses office
open the door to profanity ***almost*** i thought i lost it
instead i sit and listen to how i've caused a loss in profit
you know he exploits the negative...but not what i got accomplished
it clogs my conscience, i try to speak but something stops the process
my thoughts chaotic at this point i snap and it causes conflict
an argument with a lot of nonsense evolves to a fight with fist
my mind submits.... i change ending any doubts that might exsist
i beat him to death in mere seconds stealing this sheltered life of his
he yells at me...."are you listening, do you need a psychiatrist"
i snap out of the day dream, and must say it was quite intense
i find a grip, when he calms down and seems to apologize for this
way he's been acting, he tells me that lately he's felt defied a bit
and goes into some shit about how his marriage is losing life and quick
he says his wife's a bitch and she's been sneaking out when it's late
and she doesn't know it but when she leaves from the house he's awake
also that he's been su••••ious all along and knows the coward she dates
i think to myself, he must know something, and how does this make
me feel sitting here...i dissapear into a powerful state
of complex confusion....cause i was really about to relate
until he said when he gets home that he might drown her today
then find the guy that she's been fucking and just pound on his fate
i said it sounds as if hates growing inside of you it's scary
cause i feel like were alike, even despite the truth i carry
he gets calm then quickly hostile, when i say tonight your getting burried
then i confess, what's going on, as i reply that "you've been married"
but also been between current relationship quite contrary
see im serenity she's hostility we're nothing alike it's very
complicated...
...see im a gemini, the way i live my life it varies
but opposites attract, so i guess i can accept your wife's an aries
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Old 02-12-2007, 08:31 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Well, pretty decent contest, but I think one person clearly took this.

Vote = Pent uP

Vern, I don’t know man, I’m doing my absolute best to not compare this to any previously set standard that you have managed to set for yourself. So as far as I’m concerned, for this vote, you’re a no name lol. One of my biggest issues with this was the wording.

well since it's I...that am a "GEMINI"
most would say i have a twisted mind
im two face im sure....
in lamens terms that means there's different sides

For an opener, it just seems awkward as hell. Why not just say something like, ‘Since I am a Gemini.’ The third line is throwing me off too. Are you trying to say I’m sure that I’m two faced? If so, why switch the order up? I don’t know, you obviously had your reasons but I just hard a hard time reading through the entire piece and that is pretty surprising given that clarity is usually one of your greatest attributes. DAMNIT! I did it! Sorry lol. Your rhymes were solid for the most part, but there were parts where it sort of reeked of forceage lol. Like,

i couldn't sleep i was stressed, and felt like i needed to rest

Maybe I’m being hard on you but the first part of that sentence reads like something a newcomer would write. Maybe some punctuation or better wording would take care of that. But as it stands, it just seems like you constructed that line with the sole intention of continuing the rhyme scheme rather than continuing the content. The ending was cool, not terribly surprising, but I like how you tied in the aries part.

Pent uP, the best word I can come up with for this piece is solid lol. There were some wording issues with you as well.

But they care if its a bitch that they're paired up with to live

I don’t know man. Paired up with to live just read awkward. It seems like it should say “paired up to live with” or something like that, but then I guess that wouldn’t rhyme as well. There were some other parts but this is already getting to long. Your rhymes, for the most part were pretty good. Your flow was fairly consistent. The content itself was interesting, although it seemed like an odd transition from gay Jesus to a rant on marriage, but I guess I understand how you were transitioning. Maybe that could have been pulled together a little better. Who knows?

Anyways, that is it. I think Pent out-wrote Vern on this particular day and so my vote goes the way it does.
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Old 02-12-2007, 09:48 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!
thanks for the vote
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Last edited by Vern Acular; 02-12-2007 at 11:56 PM.
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Old 02-12-2007, 11:21 PM   #8 (permalink)
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thank you
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Old 02-13-2007, 04:12 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Pent Up, lmao @ the reference of Jesus being gay and his lover is God... which is therotically somewhat accurate I guess. This was good for comical religious satire and I the concept was interesting. .... fixed marriage is still a common from of coupling around the world, even lots of cities within the US still believe in this concept. This was written pretty nicely, carried a cool flow and like I said the content was crizp and humorous. There were a couple of moments where the concept was repeated, but new ideas were brought throughout the verse to keep it fresh... lmao... jesus is gay huh... ok

Vern, Gem and Aries couple.... sounds like a lot of angry sex... this was written pretty nicely, but there are some issues I have with it.... Why the fuck is your boss telling you about this in the first place if he doens't know it's you? It doesn't seem like your boss likes you from the way you narrated your relationship with him of the boss never appreciating you and bitching about you making them lose profits... The start was eeehhh, it didn't really get interesting until mid way til the end. The story wasn't exactly put together nicely..... some dialogue between boss and co-worker could of picked this up a bit and if the boss knew the co-worker was having an affair, that would of made for a better ending I think with an extreme conflict in the work place... Cool verse

Vote Pent.
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Old 02-14-2007, 01:21 AM   #10 (permalink)
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well being that verns piece started pretty weak and ended pretty strong the median would be that it was decently average. So with that being said I like where it went, but it was pretty predictable. even the mechanics weren't that good especially in the start.


pent i always told you that you can be one of the greats dude, nothing you write neither shocks me or disappoints me. because you can go from writing complete trash, to writing some of the best shit i ever read in one fucking week. so with that said congrats on beating vern. your shit was proper creative and nicely written. good piece bro.

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Old 02-14-2007, 01:35 AM   #11 (permalink)
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N.E. ~ Round 3 ~ 14. Millz -vs- 2. Tali Rodriguez
S.W. ~ Round 3 ~ 2. Jook -vs- 3. Sacrifice
N.W. ~ Round 3 ~ 5. Vigil -vs- 1 DiC GeTs GuLLy

Hey jook thanks for the cangratulatory words but can I know what u thought of this particular verse beyond creative and well written
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