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Old 08-02-2003, 02:28 AM   #6 (permalink)
djtactics
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 62
djtactics takes it up the butt!
K.I.T.

Your verse wasn't too bad, but it didn't tell much of a story in my opinion... Your rhyme scheme wasn't too simple, but you could have worked harder at making it longer with some sort of climax... Either way, keep writing, nice work.

Peepers

Hmm, its relatively sad you only found ten minutes to work on this! You could have made yours longer too, obviously... but you had a (weird) decent closer... so I'm edging out the vote to you, there is just more of a plot in your verse...
Vote = Peepers
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