[krysto]

Rate ma lyric

3/5...about average

but

For just begining it was great...i wont sayin nothin bad about it but i'll give you some advice for things you could do in the future to improve..get me?

Ok, the first thing that really jumped out at me was..words more then once, in my opinion you shouldnt use any one word more then one time in a verse..only time u can do that is on the chorus

also your vocabulary seemed a bit simple along with the concepts you used..try to spice that aspect up a little more next time

other elements you can through in next time for a better ryme is:
Muliple ryme- Go beyond just a end ryming word- Ex=Damn this man i cant stand him bein at hands of this plan
Metaphors-im sure u get the idea here
Be Creative and original-try new things..unexplored..makes the read more intresting
Complexity- makes the reader think more..and in my opinion a better read

Ok theres your Rate and then some..good luck in the future