View Single Post
Old 03-15-2008, 09:17 PM   #14 (permalink)
Stars€reen
above average
 
Stars€reen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Down South where we ALL SPARK
Posts: 530
Stars€reen will do you doggie style!Stars€reen will do you doggie style!Stars€reen will do you doggie style!Stars€reen will do you doggie style!Stars€reen will do you doggie style!Stars€reen will do you doggie style!Stars€reen will do you doggie style!Stars€reen will do you doggie style!Stars€reen will do you doggie style!Stars€reen will do you doggie style!Stars€reen will do you doggie style!
vote KP.. this battle was heated

Quote:
Ink - lets start with some positives and then we'll get to the negatives...I think this flowed smoother than most of what I've read from you to date and naturally I'm a fan of the short bar structure, it makes the read friendlier. Another thing I think you hit on well, especially towards the end way the imagery and emotion. Now for the bad parts. I think the first 40 some odd bars just dragged brutally, even though they were short and flowed well. It's just that they were about absolutely nothing

first of all chris...your imagry is so vivid at times, it's like im there..that shit is so dope.

KP blew me away with his flip and humor in this story..but i didn't like the format..seems like i see that alot on here but your story was ill, nice ending

quoting my vote doesn't justify as breaking down inks verse. this vote does not count.

Last edited by Got Life?; 03-15-2008 at 11:51 PM.
Stars€reen is offline