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ok .. well ..
Cahm - straight piece but you were really forced into making your font smaller because you opted to split your lines into 2 bars each .. so I think mechanical merit is lost given the structure of the piece .. it flowed pretty well but felt like it dragged on a little at times .. very wordy in places that didn't need expansion .. the end message is cool and I was feeling the outro .. I liked the piece but never really felt enfused to it ..
GL? - there's something I don't quite get about this piece .. I understood the premise on 1st read .. but I read it again because I was thrown by the ending and image after believing that the female character to the story was dead .. splattered on the sidewalk .. then you're talking about keeping her captive in the final section .. there was no clear indication to say this is the same or a different woman (outside of logic hinting that it's not the woman splattered on the street) .. except for "I never forgot her face" there were no real signs of flashback method being used .. I think there are 2 women in this story (as I understand it) but no real transition to differentiate between each (as a reader) ..
Vote = Got Life? .. although I pick fault in a subjective matter .. it was more enjoyable to read on a lot of levels .. GL? almost jacked Daht Cahms structure from last week and did it justice .. not as creative as the sax piece but set a scene in my head that was only thrown at the end with not seeing the character switch early on .. left me confused but interested enough to go back and try to understand the story better ..
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