[Bodian]

”Kidnapped!”


When I got back the baby had vanished.
And a cascade of cold, empty, tears began to flood ..
As I stared, stoic in silence, at the space where the pram had stood.
That was it then, it was real.
And the gleaning guilt continued to fall from my cheeks…
Before I crashed back into the store -
With my beating heart pleading for someone to call the police…
I shrieked and cried,
Until the police arrived to take me to safety ..
And remember how hysterical I must have sounded,
Whilst sobbing “My baby! MY BABY!”
As I left with the police for the station -
To confess how I’d been snatched of the infant ..
It seemed like all the times I’d never cried before,
Came flooding back in an instant.
As I replayed the scenario in my mind,
Knowing my Mother wouldn’t agree.
But I’d just wanted to pop inside the store to see if I’d enough money for jeans...
Only the door was too narrow for the buggy,
So I nipped inside to quickly glance the threads ..
There was this cool pair I just had to try on –
But when I saw the price-tag, I said “Thanks, but no thanks,” and left.
The pram had been right there in front of the store,
Within seconds it was gone without a trace.
And this was when the screaming started,
As those soft transparent tears transcended down my face...
The police never found a thing,
And sirens had sweeped the area every night for a week ..
But the cameras inside the store were only for the inside, not for outside on the street.
My Mother’s temper flared when she heard the news -
The intensity of her charring breath was the hardest test I’d harboured yet ..
Because she’d always said that if my face was my fortune, then I’d starve to death.
But she didn’t know about this time, did she?
My mother would fall to bits if she knew ..
It’s not that I did it to show her, but it was because of her that I did it in truth...


*****


She worked for a lady we addressed only as “Ma’am”,
As her humble housemaid and her cleaner ..
I’d always helped out at Ma’am’s place, to please my mother,
And she’d never paid me for the work either.
It was an evening where I was pretending to be a waitress,
At Ma’am’s party with one eye on the clock ..
When this guy entered the kitchen, one of Ma’am’s sort,
Black hair, a black suit, a bow tie and the lot.
He enquired what time I finished -
But for the hubbub I couldn’t comprehend quite what he said ..
And so he waited for me, patiently, outside the back-door ‘til midnight when I left...
He walked me as far as the churchyard,
Then turned to ask if I wanted to change my life ..
From something so mundane and trite -
To being financially stabilized, in a home I could say was mine.
He offered me $500 to meet him there the next day,
While holding the notes loose in his hands ..
And so of course, I took the money, and met him the next day too as we planned...


That’s when he asked me about the baby.
The question caught me by surprise and I panicked ..
He toyed that if I could have a baby -
He’d give me $10,000 in instalments and $20,000 when I’d finally had it...
...Then I would hand it over to him,
There were steps in place to assure that the rest was paid ..
He told me we’d never see or hear from each other again,
And that I should pretend to forget his face.
“Open a bank account,
Then pay in the $500 I gave you.” he ushered in a dominant tone ..
“And use this address,
It’s a PO Box number to avoid any correspondence at home.”
“But how do I like - you know...“
I have a tendency to trail off when answers evade me.
“The father can be whoever you want.
Just make sure they don’t interfere with our plans for the baby...”
At that he handed me a mobile phone,
That my grateful, slender, fingers accept ..
And “Text me when you’re pregnant.” was the last thing that he said...


*****


Getting pregnant was the easy part!
It was nothing compared to the task I would face ..
In getting past the dismay, attached to the face of my Mother...
...Who wanted the sorry bastard to pay.
But when I was six months pregnant,
I visited the cashpoint and merely stood viewing the screen ..
As $10,500 sat in my account,
A young woman coughed behind me, waiting to use the machine...
I could see she was pregnant also,
She smiled and asked me when the baby was due ..
“The eighteenth of June,” I beamed, and she said it was the same as her too...
I kept the baby for three weeks,
Doing all the changing, feeding, and then ..
I received a message instructing me on where I was to leave him and when.
I’d never even thought of a name.
There seemed no point, I couldn’t exactly call him “mine” ..
In my heart though I’d nick-named him Teddy, because I cuddled him all the time...
Then I had to do all that crying for the police –
Its bleak toll continued as the weeks rolled ..
And the problem with getting into a real fit for the police,
Was that I couldn’t stop when I reached home.
So I decided to move far, far, away from the questioning stares where we lived ..
And landed me a part-time job working in a crèche, where I could still care for the kids.
I didn’t see Mom for a long time.
And a new house is barely “home” when you’re there alone ..
But for the first time in 9 months –
I had the chance to wash my own hair and to wear new clothes.
When one evening after work,
By chance I gazed at the young woman who advanced my way ..
And was met with the warm smile of the girl I’d seen outside the bank that day.
She asked if I wanted to see the baby,
A question I bet she’d asked a hundred times or more already..
But looking down into his deep, devouring, eyes –
All I saw was Teddy.
His face had opened up a bit, and his hair was darker,
But he looked so small and sweet ..
I said “Hello baby,” and he laughed –
Like he remembered my voice even after all these weeks...
I asked “Do you need a babysitter?”
“Sure, if you’re offering!” she simply replied.
“When do I start!?” I beamed back at her, with a cold, knowing, glint in my eye...




TOPIC: - You've arrived at a moment of clarity...