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I agree, it's very hard to compete with such a short verse. Especially when it lacks a lot of content. The verse about the mom decapitating her husband was good in depth, could follow the story and had very nice imagery. But the one part where it says this is the first time he hit her... I was sort of confused, because before that it was talking about him hitting her all the time.
The one about the lie and the cops, what was the lie? That he was adopted? That what I got out of it but why were the cops there? It was very "in the moment" and without a back story or anything it's hard to follow. One could assume he was adopted and pissed off, which is okay. But I have no idea why the cops were there. And I was confused about the zebras and such until the end.
Pretty close, both good in different ways. But my vote goes to Bodian.
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