Become your abusive father. Why do you hit your son (which is you)?
What happened to you when you were younger that has led you to have become so violent? Expand.
(DipSet)
The smell of death lingers..as strong as fear in the air
about mY father..who's actions are not clear
I tried as hard as I could..and still told, to have been weak
thought I did good on the tests, but beat for comin home with a B
he always told me..that's his intentions were to make me 10 times the man
and when that daY came, then I'd thank him, and then finallY understand
that he's a brute..that's the truth and it's enough...
how can u tell me to live right, with a bottle in Ya clutch...
it feels like on the inside..I'm about to erupt
...it's so complicated
I would rather it not even be discussed...
I had a dream last night, the Lord was washin me in blood...
...I arose and told You, but chu just drug it through the mud
My whole day is planned before I know it..You say that u love,
but never show it, there's a lot more to learn..we just gotta keep growin
then one day you opened, and talked about Ya mom bein fast
runnin with different men..a bunch of wanna be dads
with Your whole demeanor sad, you explained in a rut...
how one in particular would tease u..when u didn't wanna be touched
it was like he couldn't get enough..and he pushed it in delight
confronted Your mother..but she just beleived what he denied
Have u ever felt a feelin on the inside, as strong as the flesh???
He told me about hidin kitchen knives under his pillow..
..before theY would come and tuck him in the bed..
he had a certain sterness in his voice, and the last thing he said..
this will never happen to You, I'll put mY whole life on a ledge..
I've never meet my grandmother, and I don't really care..
..all I know is that dad says..she live's in Wisconsin somewhere..
and we are in Texas, this mornin I ate a sausage link for breakfast..
went to school..thinkin' of his speech, the emotions..expressions..
latter that day, I ended up bein' grabbed from the class..
..this kid called me dumb, and said that my dad was a fag..
So i hit him..he pulled back, we both wrestled to the floor..
after about 40 seconds in..it was obvious he didn't wanna wrestle ne more
the teacher tried to break it up..but I don't give a fuck about that..
..and if anyone else jumps in, I'm willin to fight the whole class..
Then it hit me..why I'm like this, as the principal tugged at my arm..
I didn't really mean for it to go this far, or to cause any harm..
..while sitting in the lobby, trying to get my side straight..
..he threw the first punch, I was mostly protectin my face..
well, that's a lie..40 witnesses are hard to match..
he called me in his office, my hands shakin..feelin hardly attatched..
he told me to sit down, then it was more like "so u wanna pull cute stunts?"..
how about I suspend You for 2 weeks and give out detention for month..
he said that he knew how hotheaded my dad was, and I wasn't far from the tree..
I knew that there was a tie somewhere, but how hard could it be..
"Have we ever met before?", was my respone...
then he smiled and sat up..
..I had a friend a long time ago..set me and Your, grandmother up..
"Let's just say that I cut u a break?", meet me in my office right after school....to be con'td