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Old 03-02-2008, 09:36 PM   #12 (permalink)
Insanevillian
STILL in CHARGE
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Oakland, Ca
Posts: 16,322
Insanevillian REP THIS!Insanevillian REP THIS!Insanevillian REP THIS!Insanevillian REP THIS!Insanevillian REP THIS!Insanevillian REP THIS!Insanevillian REP THIS!Insanevillian REP THIS!Insanevillian REP THIS!Insanevillian REP THIS!Insanevillian REP THIS!
I apologize i only have a short period to vote but here it goes...

Pain, well first of all i'm gonna say this... i am biased against most love stories but this one was cool... nothing amazing in the content but overall good emotion and easy to follow...

Eye Rhyme... iono, i saw the rhyme scheme in the flow, but there was ALOT of description almost overkill... i think you could have added more to the story to make your twist a little bit more special...

at the end of the day i vote...

Pain... i like joe kraq's imagery but pains verse inched it out with easy to get into content...
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