[Quriosity]

inkwell, creatively speaking this flow suffered, this was definately a literal take on the lead and offered nothing new to the reader, even the end which seemed to reveal some sort of climax ended up just being a close call and a weak ending for me, the flow was inconsistent which didnt aid the progression of what seemed to be a long and predictable storyline, there were some lines that sounded good and some that sounded terrible, in the end i felt as though if you had offered some sort of creativity to the lead you may have had a better shot but while reading i felt that i could quit at any time and still know what happened because you added nothing new to the subject and it really made for a boring and uninteresting read, decent delivery but terrible take on the topic, you have to find a balance between creativity and mechanics and once you do, you'll definately be a contender for the title, but until then....

insanevillian, from the beginning the flow felt a bit rocky to me, a lot of words that weren't true rhymes in my mind, mechanically i expected more from you although i haven't actually read and IV verse in ages i guess i just expected so much because of the name brand, the rest of the verse met my new expectations and never really picked up but did enough to secure the win here, the ending was somewhat the strongpoint aside from part II which was strong and yet weird at the same time, i mean who flashes up there skirt and you can see there vagina while standing up, i dont know i just couldnt visualize it and the entire scene felt phony and lacked the elegant emotion that a love scene should incorporate yet it flowed well and captivated the raw "fucking" i suppose of what you were going for, the ending was a pleasant surprise but it still didn't save this piece as some endings do, nothing gave this that push to the next level and in the end i felt it was simply a decent showing with a better story and better creativity than your opponent

therefore, vote - insanevillian