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Got Life: I dissagree with quirosity I thought your verse was short and sweet. You managed to translate your idea into words really well so I could picture it in my head as I was reading it. Your vocab and wording was good too and the piece flowed really nice and would happy to read on if the verse had been longer, I cant criticize it negatively coz I enjoyed reading it!!peace
P.s got life reason my mechanics are never on point is coz I dont take enough time writing my verse I will make sure too next week!
Seph: I got lost with your story a quarter of the way through and like quirosity said you conentrated too much on your flow and failed to deliver anything remotley captivating. The topic was a hard topic in my opinion and may you learn from it. On a positive note, your rhyming is good you just need better mechanics.Peace
Overall vote= got life
Last edited by Quriosity; 03-01-2008 at 06:29 PM.
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