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Old 03-01-2008, 05:37 PM   #8 (permalink)
Condescending
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 139
Condescending Likes to get kinky with bananas and mayonnaiseCondescending Likes to get kinky with bananas and mayonnaiseCondescending Likes to get kinky with bananas and mayonnaiseCondescending Likes to get kinky with bananas and mayonnaiseCondescending Likes to get kinky with bananas and mayonnaiseCondescending Likes to get kinky with bananas and mayonnaiseCondescending Likes to get kinky with bananas and mayonnaiseCondescending Likes to get kinky with bananas and mayonnaiseCondescending Likes to get kinky with bananas and mayonnaiseCondescending Likes to get kinky with bananas and mayonnaiseCondescending Likes to get kinky with bananas and mayonnaise
Got Life: I dissagree with quirosity I thought your verse was short and sweet. You managed to translate your idea into words really well so I could picture it in my head as I was reading it. Your vocab and wording was good too and the piece flowed really nice and would happy to read on if the verse had been longer, I cant criticize it negatively coz I enjoyed reading it!!peace

P.s got life reason my mechanics are never on point is coz I dont take enough time writing my verse I will make sure too next week!

Seph: I got lost with your story a quarter of the way through and like quirosity said you conentrated too much on your flow and failed to deliver anything remotley captivating. The topic was a hard topic in my opinion and may you learn from it. On a positive note, your rhyming is good you just need better mechanics.Peace

Overall vote= got life

Last edited by Quriosity; 03-01-2008 at 06:29 PM.
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