Okay...
I dont know how pushed Seph was this week, but I didnt feel this piece stood on its own as previous verses by him have for me. It had everything in there it needed, the wording was on point, a strong vocab, it shifted along smoothly, but for some reason the whole thing just didnt pull together for me into something enjoyable or engaging for me as a reader. I just didnt connect with it, it all felt a bit flat, almost reliant on the mechanics to the point the enjoyment was stripped from it. This isnt anywhere near the standard I KNOW this guy can write at, and it actually disappointed me a little because I know how well this guy CAN write. He seemed pre-occupied with other things here, it had a rushed feel to it that I couldnt shake as I read it. This part reminded me of some Eminem track too:
Quote:
some say it's actually frightning, while more of us laughing
6:00 PM, 7:00 PM, just watch the metamorphysis happen
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Lol. It's just such an odd rhyme it stands out. You had an okay verse this week, dont get me wrong, eveything in there are the ingredients for a good verse - It just didnt pool toggether into anything more than that for me.
Got Life? - This piece was a lot shorter than some of yours, I'm used to reading lengthier pieces that progress gradually, but this wasnt bad - Some precise wording in there, very visual as it reads, good for the imagery behind it. I wasnt a huge fan of the speech interjections to be completely honest, but thats just me, it didnt take anything away from the piece at all. You did more than enough to win here, but I think Seph could of made more than a match for you had he shown up like I know he's capable of. Lol. Pretty evenly matched battle here to be fair, but I think Got Life should get this one fairly comfortably...
Vote - Got Life?