[Got Life?]

Ink - the story leads are meant to put you in a plot and you write from there...taking the lead itself and just putting it into rhyme is about as creative as well, nothing really...also, you had some odd wording like this:

She said “follow me,” it was then that it occurred,
To me, this idea that was bad just got worse.

The "To me," is completely odd and off beat here and to me the whole piece just carried this same tone and where I thought you might save it with a clever ending, the "oops" did not suffice to save the piece.

IV - ok, so I hate this style, the whole breaking everything down into parts, it breaks up the smooth flow of the piece and you use it more as a cop out to not have to write smooth transitions. Anyway I think it was kinda cool what you did with the piece although I don't think it holds any weight towards the factual reality of Cobain and not just in regards to the ending, but at the same time this ending was actually clever and creative.

At the end of the day I think ink had better mechanics, but both verses were severely lacking although I think IV had the better ending.

vote = IV for disappointing me less out of the two of you.