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Bonnie - packed a lot of punch into the small compact verse .. it had most of the bases covered with really nice wording in places .. a mix of abstract material mixed in with vivid imagery .. using the structure of repeating the intro at the end when using "Deja Vu" as a topic/title isn't going to win any creativity or originality points .. but to be honest .. the creativity comes from the text rather than the concept here .. and I feel you did a solid job ..
Mem - not quite sure what I make of this .. I read it twice cos I was left feeling confused as fuck after the 1st read .. and even after the 2nd I'm still sure I understand who the author is .. I thought the devil .. then maybe an executioner .. then maybe some metaphor in here I'm missing .. I dunno .. it just doesn't feel clear on who the "I" character is .. saying that .. the piece itself was an enjoyable read .. some nice lines and again had that abstract feel to it .. although this felt more fantasy based .. good flow and vocab etc. .. just confusing ..
Vote = Bonnie .. both verses were good reads .. but Bonnie's first and foremost was the clearer and concise .. if Mem had given his character a bit more development so the reader knows who they're engaging with .. he may well have took this .. it just felt it lacked an ingredient it really needed .. Bonnie takes this for me ..
decent battle overall ..
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