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TheReturn: The narrative voice in your piece is very strong. I appreciated it very much so. The storyline was so uncreative. I was hoping it didn't end in the direction you were taking it. I am just in need of something fresh, it seems as if 5 people wrote about the same thing. Nonetheless, the flow was very tasteful. Also alittle is actually two words, and the climactic ending or lack thereof, was no so bad using a cliche saying.
.Apo.: I would just like to congratulate you on your idea. The way the plot developed and unsure of the initial admit line, I read on and I just have to say although, it was also the same rhetorical story, the ending made it unique being in a college and putting everything together. Then the execution of tying in the quote with your admit idea was slightly dope. There were a few too many grammar and spelling errors for my taste. But overall I enjoyed it.
So you guys both wrote the same shit in a sense. So creativity of the plot is not even a factor. TheReturn had better mechanics. Apo ended better to me, and actually had the better story.
At the end of the day story always wins my vote and Apo's ending tying in with the quote was just more climactic then the heart on the sleeve.
Vote - .ApoGeee.
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"Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home.
He knows only The Cause."
Win or Die.
Still want to quit?
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