[TheReturn]

Luci - Alright, well this was written pretty well, some of the lines felt really stretched, like you combined two lines into one, but I never felt like it took away from the flow very much. Story itself was ok, nothing too creative but I got through it. Didn't really pull me in or offer anything to stick out in my mind though.

Trybz - This read really fast, in a too fast kind of way. I didn't feel any pull to the character or the fact that she was in the situation she was in. The flow was really good, I stayed interested the whole way through, but really wasn't wow'ed through the whole thing. The ending was the only saving grace and how you tied it into the picture, which was creative in my opinion. I was wondering how that picture would be used.

Overall, I haven't read the other votes nor do I know what Luci is complaining about. The repetetive bars and one spelling mistake shouldn't make any difference in a vote, but to me, I was just more interested in Trybz piece. I know you are complaining about child molesting stories, but yet you wrote a piece about contemplating suicide and how your son made a difference in your life, and with pretty vague discriptions at that. This league has been around for almost a decade and it is incredibly hard to come up with something that hasn't been done before, which is why there has been a shift from good stories to good mechanics. To me, this came down to two uncreative ideas and two underdeveloped stories, but I just felt like if I had to go back and read one I would pick Trybz' because of the fact that it didn't drag on as much and I could follow the flow alot better, so Trybz gets my vote in this one.