[Quriosity]

s. issue, another decently written decent idea from you, your flow seems unnecessarily stretched to me as i read and really lessens the impact of each line, the story in itself was a decent interpretation and tie in to the pictures and topics, nothing over the top or too creative but just a decent take and delivery, personally i feel that your writing is too wordy and yet fails on delivering the right words, i really can't explain it but something always seems to be missing in your writing, besides that however i did enjoy the overall plot and the ending was a good one with good descriptions, the progression was rather rapid throughout and lowered the connectivity between the reader and the character but the ending itself was actually written fairly well and wrapped up the rest of the plot/verse nicely, overall this was fairly good but i wouldnt go as far as to say dope, just another decent verse that was decently written, the flow just wasnt good enough nor the wording to land this in the dope category, but the story was enjoyable

rico, scholly? come on man, never sacrifice wording for flow, especially that drastically, anyway -- the idea was good here and had potential for a good EMO piece but i think TheReturn would have been a more fitting author as you missed out on a lot of emo points, the dots were unnecessary and the rapid progression of the story really hurt the emotion factor, you skipped too quickly to an event (the ending) with little to nil explanation, you should have described the events more vividly leading up to the accident and crash and maybe you could have described even the family that was murdered a little more so that the reader felt more connected to the tragic event, as is it was just a fast paced read of a decently written verse with little to offer

overall this was a pretty well matched battle, both had good ideas that could have been executed better, but s. issue showed more maturity in his writing and covered his topic a little better, his character development and progression worked better than rico's here and i also enjoyed his tie in to the topic more, rico's was like sitting in one of those traffic/defensive driving courses and watching those videos or something and all in all was a weak tie in to the picture but still could have worked as a verse had he hieghtened the EMO a bit to build the characters before delivering such a tragic ending

vote - s. issue