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hahah rock on.
I like the poem man. I agree with UFO in the sense that Im not sure how you have correlated him into the poem, however there is nothing wrong with the title. I thought you "brought it" just fine.
You touch up on a very cool idea that children growing up feel more vulnerable when they are fatherless. As a result they develope a surface that appears ruff but really isn't. (I went through this faze for I don't know how many years, then I happened to be .. just stupid and happy one day and I say a kid a little younger than me.... and as I saw him I knew we used to be the same person. Its like.. the kid looked so angry and I could tell that it was "just because" It was a surface and the day I decided to leave mine where it belongs... in a tormented and scattered past.)
Your connection between the fatherless child and religion seems vauge, and I am not sure where you wanted me to take it. What I immediately thought at the end of the poem was relating the idea that a fatherless child will be more inclined to hold onto something he believes to be ... a role model.. a direction... and that is, of coarse is "our father who art in heaven" haha. However, it was vauge enough to where I am not sure if you were leading me into to something else that I sort of missed. I dont know. But the poem is awsome. YOu have great imagery and I really felt.. and remembered all those sad days I sat in church and wondered why.
Why do I have to be here. Why does my mother feel obligated to come. Why does she seem just as sad coming as she does leaving. What is the point of this placebo? Like the sugar pill, it works for some, but its never worked for me.
I suppose this means a logical person cant rely on the false hope of seeming potential?
Can't wait to see what else your bringing.
stay up, but not in a churchy heavenly sense okay. I believe in you and me and human potential. God is a sugar pill I will take as a crumble into my death bed. Until then....
-eMpTy
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